Where the hell you been???

One of the things I love about having a blackberry is a sweet little app called Slacker Radio. I usually have the Indie Chill station on, unless I don't want to fall asleep, and then I'll put one of the punk stations on. Maybe, maybe, once in a while some old rock or alternative...but really, if I wanted to listen to that, I could just listen to the regular radio station.

So usually I'm driving along in my car, writing down names of artists and songs I like. Yeah. Real safe.

Most of these artists I haven't heard of before, except this one. I don't listen to a lot of Ben Harper, but I really like this song. It's emo.



This next one I haven't heard of before, but she is on Jack Johnson's (with Mason Jennings) label. It just doesn't seem like that voice should be coming her.



José Gonzales. What do you say, I like it. I'm going to have to do some more digging on this guy.



I hate it when you find a song you really like, but you just can't get into any thing else they have. But such is the case with Emiliana Torrini. I'll keep trying though. With that voice, certainly there must be another song I like somewhere.



Nick

Greg Patillo could beat (box) your ass...

Nick

How about that health care plan???

Nah... how about some Chunky and Berkeley being best buds???  Most people probably think that Rottweilers eat little kitties, but Berkeley is living proof that they can co-exist.  He has lived with many dogs, Chunky being the latest.

On the other hand, Chunky does want to eat ducks (not shown to protect the innocent)...

Nick

I wanna move north and be a Canadian...

because they have better music, like Jenn Grant.



Nick

BOOM! CRASH! ASHTRAY!

One of the qualities of a good poker player is to be able to realize when your opponent is frustrated, and then use that frustration to crush them into little pieces.  Apparently that tactic is lost on Ford...

If there was a Ford commercial with nothing but Toyotas careening out of control, you can bet there would never be another one sold in this country every again.  Duh.

Nick

I gots culture...

Whenever people ask me what music I listen to, I tell them: everything.  And I mean it.  Like some Kirsten Jones.  The hot wife loves this song, so for her... (btw, the interview ends, and the song starts around the 3:00 minute mark)



Nick

Looks like someone has a stupid contest to win...

If anyone has followed this blog for some time, you know that one my problems with the modern day interweb is comments. For the most part I allow them on this blog, mainly because I just don't get many. I have had times where I haven't though and took endless flak for it.

Now, have you noticed that every website in interweb land allows comments? Online news is the worst. I specifically avoid some sites because I know I won't be able to avoid reading the comments... and they are all unbelievably stupid.

I read an article today on Obama's healthcare plan. Of course, I glanced at the comments to the article, because I'm dumb. One by imdum49652 said: "obamas not evn a us citazan!"

Ugh.

Were some of these idiots beaten as children? Do they have horrible home lives? Has society failed them?

Maybe I just don't want to face the fact that a sizeable chunk of our population is worthless. Maybe ignorance really is bliss.

If someone left a comment so stupid on my blog I'd have to kick my own ass for attracting an audience like that. I feel stupid just putting it on my blog. I fear this is going to get worse though and will eventually drive me from the interweb altogether.

Comments... Yuck...

Nick

Can you hear me now?

Don't tell me I can actually post on here from my new blackberry! I'm not quick enough with the key board to do much damage, but this could funky...

In the meantime, I'll probably have to commit an illegal act (or more likely resort to a life of illegal activities) but dammit I will own a pool. That doubles as a floor.

http://www.hydrofloors.be

Nick

Meet Chunky!

Have I told you about my lack of patience and impulsiveness?  In other words, when I get in my mind that I'm going to do something... I do it.  And quickly.  Well, recently we decided to get another dog.  And of course, since we're Rottweiler folk, we decided to find a Rottweiler.  So we got in touch with a few dog friends from way back when we were more involved in dogs... one thing led to another... some people we used to train with were looking to place a dog they had...

So meet Chunky!

 

Chunky comes from good lines, but has a very small white spot on his chest and a slightly not so good bite so he's neutered and can't be shown.  Oh well, not the end of the world.  We can still do obedience, tracking and of course he can still be our pet.  

We got him Saturday night and he's adjusting very well so far.  We REALLY like him.  A lot.

And once again... we're crazy dog people...

Nick

Are you high?

Maybe you've seen these before, but they make me feel all silly.

 

 

nick

You have to pay the troll toll, if you want to get drunk in Minnesota

 

Listen Minnesota, you whore...  THIS is NOT $27 worth of alcohol, I don't care how fancy you're fucking place is.

If anyone ever tells you they got drunk in Minnesota, they either have too much money or they're fucking liars.  And to think, I once said I loved Minnesota.  But I just can't tolerate over-priced alcohol, especially when I'm on vacation, I don't have to drive anywhere, and I don't have to worry about being responsible for a 3 year old child.

I think though, every time we travel I learn something...  When we went to Florida the first time, I learned that the sun is really fucking hot and it will indeed melt your skin off, after of course it turns it really red.  When we went to Iowa, I learned that O'Hare airport is not between Wisconsin and Iowa.  When we went to Texas I learned that Texas is a very long drive from Wisconsin.  When we went to New Orleans, I learned that you shouldn't go to New Orleans.  When we went to Georgia and Florida the second time, I learned that.... well, I didn't really learn much on that part of the trip.

But, I did learn this past weekend in Minnesota that JagerBombs are $37 a piece, even the cheapest and shittiest beer on the planet, Coors Light, is $4.75, and thus, getting drunk in a bar is a very.  bad.   idea.  If, of course, you like money and what not...

nick

You don't like zebras?

Clearly I have way too much to talk about, what, with the Tiger episode today, our trip to Minnesota this weekend, etc, etc, etc.  But I cannot resist this.  Let me break it down for you...

A school in Pennsylvania gives thousands of it's students free laptops.  With webcams.  That can be remotely activated so that the school can see what is in front of the laptop.  Wait...  What?

WHAT?

I know... schools... giving students laptops.  If you're like me, your school didn't give you shit when you were a kid.  Because, you know, they had budgets and what not... consisting of real money.   And, well, we didn't have laptops.  With webcams.  There was basically no web for their to be a cam for until I was probably 13 anyways, and even then, if you were there back then... you know the web just sucked.

But imagine being a teacher today, and you're sitting in your teacher lounge with other teachers, probably sniffing dry erase markers (do they even still have chalk boards?), and someone comes up with this idea...

"I know.."  (sniff, sniff)  "What if we gave everyone some tricked out laptop... with webcams... that we can activate remotely.... you know, just in case anyone steals it..."

"Wow Professor Shit For Fucking Brains, what a great idea!"

(sniff, sniff)  "Yeah!"

"Yeah..."

Yeah....

No teacher put their marker down, used their god given brain and said, "Wait, my head is doing something... it's telling me that might be such a great idea afterall.  Yup, it's saying that's a bad idea.  A bad, stupid idea..."

A laptop.  With a webcam.  That can be remotely activated.

Let's forget for a second that, you know, people go to pound me in the ass prison for spying on people without their knowledge and consent, nevermind they be CHILDREN...  Can you begin to comprehend what goes on in a teenagers bedroom?  With a laptop?  And a webcam?  I know what went on in my bedroom when I was a teenager, and I didn't have a laptop.  Or a webcam.  Or the web.

I'm guessing if someone had remote access to my bedroom when I was a teenager, I wouldn't just have been called into Vice Principal Shit For Brains office for "inappropriate behavior".  I probably would have been sent to away.  Far away.

What, like you never played with zebras when you were a teenager???

 

Good zebra...

nick

I'm normally asleep at these hours...

Did I ever tell you about the time we turned 30?  Well of course I didn't because that was when I was horribly neglecting this here blog.  But luckily we took a gazillion pictures of our awesome 20s style party, and since I'm not much for original thought tonight, I'll just post some.

 

We just know how to party, no matter what the year is...

nick

The power of positive thinking...

I want to redo a post from way back when because I seen another post on another blog that made me think of it.  But first I have to rework this hand in poker first because it sucks.  I hate it and I want to punch it in the face.

Last night I'm getting dwindled down in chips and every time I get a decent hand the guy to my right bets into me.  In this hand I pick up AJ and again he bets into me.  I call.  The flop is this:

 

Score.  So I think.  At this point I'm down to about half our starting stack so I push all-in with my flopped straight.  He calls and flips over his straight flush draw.  I could just see what was about to happen.  I knew at that point I just.  could.  not.  win.  And then the turn:

 

A useless 4c.  But despite being a clear favorite I still knew I wasn't going to win.  I'm sure I do win hands in this situation from time to time, but since you remember the losing hands more, so do I.

And.  then.  the.  fucking.  river....

 

Really?  I mean, seriously.  Really?

Eh... anyways, on with the post from yesteryear...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Going t'California with an aching... in my heart...

Lulu* has a wonderful post describing 10 ways she would spend a winter in Wisconsin. Well, I've spent way too many of them here, so thought it would be fun to spend one in California... Let's begin.

1. It's beginning to look a lot like... a beach party!

2. Christmas shopping on Rodeo Drive. That's hot.

3. Suddenly, running around the block naked on New Year's Eve doesn't seem all that impressive... but I'd do it anyways.

4. Sex in front of a fire, but on the beach, instead of the living room. I guess just sex on the beach.

5. Mow the lawn in December. Literally and figuratively.

6. ring, ring... "Yeah, Nick (Lachey)? Yeah dude, I'm in California for the whole winter dude! Yeah, I know, rocks! What, you wanna go pick up some chicks in H-Wood? Cool dude, come pick me up!"

7. I hear they have, like, $20 martinis in California. I'm so gettin' wasted on those. And the walk home will be sooooo much nicer...

8. Californication. I'm not sure what that means, but if I ever get to California, I'm a be all about the Californication...

9. Luncheons with Arnold.

10. "Oh man, these riots are so much better in real life! Yeah, it dawned on me that I need new home furnishings too!"

mmmm, California, where all your dreams come true... and you don't have to shovel F$%&ING snow...

*or the artist formerly known as Lulu

nick

I'm too busy for you...

Sometimes we'll ask hot child who thinks he's a teenager if he wants to do something, and he'll reply, "No thank you.  I too busy."  Which reminds me how too busy I have been to blog lately.  Which isn't true, but makes me feel better.  I've actually quite a few things to write about, I just haven't.  I want, I could, I'd like to, I just don't.

But, I promise I'll change.  Starting now.  So here's what's going down...

I'm starting school.  Again.  Really, school again?  I swear I quit and start school as much as I quit and start this blog.  Is it coincidence that they seem to happen at the same times?  Probably, but it is kind of easy to write about school.  And as you can see... I am out of things to write about.  Well... it has been like 6 years... how many thoughts can one person have?

I joined LinkedIn, and Windows Live.  I don't really know why this is important.  From what I can gather, both are just like Facebook for people who a. have way too much time to be on their computer and b. want to look professional?  I don't even have a professional looking picture for my profiles on either site, so I guess I won't be recruited my some Wall Street trading firm.  Which sucks, because I'd love to work there.  Maybe I could soften the freefall my 401k has been on the last couple of weeks.  Or at least I would have a good reason to drink myself silly, because just saying my 401k tanked today doesn't seem sufficient in the grand scheme of things.

We're going back to Minnesota!  Yeah, next weekend, for a wedding reception.  Love it.  Beer, food, MINNESOTA.  See, unlike the southern hell that is Louisiana, we love Minnesota.  And most of the people in it.

Where you want to get snowed in when you get
Snowed in, outside its 10 below
Is it day or night, we don't care or know

Actually the last time we went to Minnesota, we didn't see NoFX unfortunately.  We did however see Mason Jennings.  Then I found out he lived in and sung songs about New Orleans.



Now he's dead to me. 

And now I just don't feel like writing anymore...

nick
 

There are no Saints in New Orleans...

Of course.  Why wouldn't the Saints win the Superbowl?   I didn't really care one way or another in terms of actual football, but my pure and true hatred for New Orleans is so well documented, I'm not sure what else I can say about it.  For past references, see here, here, here, here, here and finally here.

Hate.  New.  Orleans. 

Hate.

nick

Snowmaged....FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!

I heart me a good snowball fight!

 

  

  

  

nick

I've already cloned myself...

As we have been talking more and more about getting another dog, we have been kicking ourselves more and more for not just cloning the dog we had years ago.  The.  Best.  Dog.  Ever.

 

  

  

Aside from my Dad, it's hard to imagine missing anything more than I miss that dog...

Nick

Somewhere between puberty and Burt Reynolds...

I swear every couple of months I get into a conversation over how much (or if) men should shave their... well... junk.  Don't ask me why it's such an issue.  But it is, and I was going over it with a few peeps today.  One had heard from someone who heard from someone that only "civilized men" shaved.  Or "un-civilized men" didn't.  Horse a piece.  When another asked him what camp he fell into, he proudly proclaimed "UN-CIVILIZED".

After I came back from the bathroom to wash the puke out of my mouth I took to the white board for some education and constructed the following graph...

 

*S represents amount of shaving

** a(a) represents level of acceptableness and/or age

nick

If that's your poker face, then I hope I'm never at your table...

 

Holy Jesus...

nick

Would the contestant from Wisconsin get out of the picture please?

 

She should look surprised to win...

nick

Give me two shots of whiskey and a beer chaser...

And in the meantime, enjoy a lesson in music...









nick

Then I read some Howard Zinn and now I'm always depressed...

Howard Zinn passed away today.  I've never been a huge fan, but any good intellectual (like me) has probably read him from time to time.

I especially like his and Noam Chomsky's analysis of The Lord of the Rings...

Especially the theory that pipe-weed is... well, responsible for whatever is going on with the Hobbits...

Zinn: You view the conflict as being primarily about pipe-weed, do you not? 

Chomsky: Well, what we see here, in Hobbiton, farmers tilling crops. The thing to remember is that the crop they are tilling is, in fact, pipe-weed, an addictive drug transported and sold throughout Middle Earth for great profit. 

Zinn: This is absolutely established in the books. Pipe-weed is something all the Hobbits abuse. Gandalf is smoking it constantly. You are correct when you point out that Middle Earth depends on pipe-weed in some crucial sense, but I think you may be overstating its importance. Clearly the war is not based only on the Shire's pipe-weed. Rohan and Gondor's unceasing hunger for war is a larger culprit, I would say. 

Chomsky: But without the pipe-weed, Middle Earth would fall apart. Saruman is trying to break up Gandalf's pipe-weed ring. He's trying to divert it. 

Zinn: Well, you know, it would be manifestly difficult to believe in magic rings unless everyone was high on pipe-weed. So it is in Gandalf's interest to keep Middle Earth hooked. 

Chomsky: How do you think these wizards build gigantic towers and mighty fortresses? Where do they get the money? Keep in mind that I do not especially regard anyone, Saruman included, as an agent for progressivism. But obviously the pipe-weed operation that exists is the dominant influence in Middle Earth. It's not some ludicrous magical ring. 

Zinn: You've mentioned in the past the various flavors of pipe-weed that Hobbits have cultivated: Gold Leaf, Old Toby, etc. 

Chomsky: Nothing better illustrates the sophistication of the smuggling ring than the fact that there are different brand names associated with the pipe-weed. Ah, here we have Gandalf smoking a pipe in his wagon — the first of many clues that link us to the hidden undercurrents of power. 

Zinn: Gandalf is deeply implicated. That's true. And of course the ring lore begins with him. He's the one who leaks this news of the supposed evil ring.


nick

I can fail and win all at the same time!

So, obviously I failed in my quest to post every day.  Oh well, I'll still love you NaBloPoMo and I will try to honor you as well.  But I did fail for good reason.  Hot Wife and I spent last night finishing up our taxes and plotting our climb over Mountin' Debt. 

Several years ago we sat on the back patio with a cold one and faced the truth.  We had spent all of our money, and a lot of other peoples' as well (namely people whose last name was Card... Visa, Master, Discover, etc...)  But, luckily we came to our damn senses before we had to say things like, "Hm.  Guess the house payment will have to wait."

And for the first time in a long time, we can see the greener pastures...

nick

I'm not $171 good...

Just as I was publishing last night’s post I saw an advertisement for turning your blog into a book, and it said – prices starting at $14.95.  Apparently they can print your blog in a nice book, complete with an index in the front, and even customizable front and back cover.  For the awesomely low price of starting at $14.95. 

Now, I can read my own blog for free, obviously, but admit it… it’s a pain in the ass to go back and read through the archives.  I’d happily drop a starting at $14.95 for my blog in book form.  Although I guess I’d have to come up with a clever way of tying everything up.  Because you don’t want a book to end with the last page being nothing more than bitching and moaning about how much the book cost to produce.  Not very satisfying.

So, starting at $14.95, I clicked the link with eager anticipation (see, this is why my blog would make a great book, c’mon, that’s just genius writing).  I entered my information and off the online publisher went to evaluate my blog and come up with the price it would take to print.  Starting at $14.95.  My.  Ass.  Unless of course you started your blog last Tuesday, and don’t participate in NaBloPoMo.

Guess how much my blog would cost to print into a nice book.  Just guess… I’ll wait while you form an educated guess.  And remember that, although these last few years have seen scant-a-post, I’ve been blogging since about September of 2004…

Yeah, $171 and some odd change.

Now.  I write some pretty good stuff.  Maybe not now, but I used to.  Once in a while.  But you can some pretty damn good books for $171.  Or, if you’d prefer, you can buy ANY book for $171.  I can almost guarantee that if you go down to the local book store, there isn’t a book there that cost $171.  And if there is, it best be one of those get rich quick books, that works, fast.  If you are buying books that cost $171, you are going to need to get rich quick.

Even if I posted every day for the past 5 and some years, which I obviously have not, that would be like $0.10 a post.  Not even I, who happens to love my writing, would pay that to read this.  I mean, I’m good.  But I’m not $171 good.

nick

I could be watching football...

but instead, I have a kid, and I get to hear random thoughts like "I'm not a boy-fart-knocker, I just a boy!"

Where would I even be without a kid?

nick

NaBloPoMo Fail

So I was talking with a friend that I haven't talked to in years and we were catching up a little and sharing blog addresses.  At that time I noticed she posts like... every. day.  Good lord where do you find the strength?  And then she told me.  NaBloPoMo.  In other words, blogging on speed.  Every.  Day.  Yeah, you post every day.  That's it.  It's impossible, and I know that because I've tried.  But I will try to uphold the spirit of the law and see what happens.  I can already tell you Fridays are going to be rough because I don't have blog access except for very early in the morning or very late at night.  I might have to pre-post.  Or post-post.

Another reason I was contacting this friend was that hot wife and I have been talking about getting another dog.  And not one of those nott-weilers again, an actual Rottweiler.  Only, I haven't talked to anyone who actually has Rottweilers in many years so it will take some time to find those contacts again.

After Cleo and Natron, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be back in the Rottweiler world ever again.  I miss it now though, and I miss having a big Rottie to hang with.

And now kids, off to Chuck E Cheese!  WHOOOOOO!!!!

nick

Boo!

The other night we watched Paranormal Activity, which is like the highest grossing film ever.  Cheap to make doesn’t always mean horrible because it’s hard for me to imagine anyone not getting freaked out watching this movie.  Even though I don’t really believe in ghosts or spirits or demons it just has a way of making you question all those loud noises you’ve heard in your house over the years…   In a weird way, it kind of made me want to be a day trader as well.

I think the movie was good because for the most part it was believable.  It wasn’t like Freddy coming out of your dream and sucking you into your bed.

We tried to follow up the horror and creepiness of Paranormal Activity by renting A Haunting in Connecticut or some crap like that.  I don’t know if we got the crappy documentary version or what, but it was terrible.  Movies, especially horror movies, shouldn’t have narrators and this one did.  It was obnoxious and we had to turn it off after about 10 minutes.  The only thing worse would have been subtitles.

I always wonder in horror films why people don’t get the hell out of the house they’re in.  I can handle a door swaying a little bit, but once I’m convinced someone, or something, is trying to kill me, I’m in my car and I’m driving until it runs out of gas.  And then I’m going to get out and run until I pass out… probably another 10 or 15 feet.  At least.  But don’t stay in the damn house, and definitely don’t go back to bed!  Being still when you’re in a horror film is a bad idea.  Being still in the dark (otherwise commonly known as sleeping) in a horror film is just stupid.

In other non-horror news, yesterday hot wife and I celebrated 13 years together.  It’s weird to still celebrate something like that, but it was an excuse to drink other than “hey, I feel like drinking”.  It’s important to have one of those every once in a while.

Drink up.

Nick

Is it 2010 yet?

Heh. Did you know I've only posted here, like, some 50 times since the end of 2007? Well that ain't right, and it's my New Years resolution to revive this here website. It's time to put Facebook down, and the life of one sentence whitty-ness, and expound upon actual ideas. That sounded weird.

We've missed too much since I've been gone.  Like, we turned 30.  Damn, I even had to update my profile to say such which was not cool.  But we did have a bad ass '20s style party...

I still have a kid...

And a hot wife... who likes mooses...

We fostered a non-Rottweiler

And even had time for long walks on the... uh... lakefront...

 

 

2010 is going to be a great year!

nick

Beer, Minnesota and religion...

All things I love...



Nick