Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The wizard has answered...

Would you let your wife sleep with another man for a million dollars if she was up for it?

LOL, we did fight about this when we were like 17 and I was much more jealous and insecure than I am now. You can guess what her answer was...
But I don't think I would want her to. While obviously our lives would be a zillion times easier and funner with a million dollars, I think it would just eat me up inside thinking about that night. Maybe if it was some old, disgusting dude and I was sure she wouldn't enjoy it the slightest, but was just doing it for the money, then maybe.

Do you think monogamy is natural?

I wouldn't say it's natural. I think it would be much easier to run off and be with multiple partners. There's no work involved in that. But I don't think it would be as fulfilling as being with one person forever.

If you could teach your son only one thing about life, what would it be?

I would teach him that life is much easier and more fulfilling when you make an effort to do good things.

Would you go to a nude beach?

No. For one I don't have the body to parade around nude. But beyond that, I picture them being full of perverted old men, and that's not something I find all that fun.

If you could switch places with a famous person for one day, who & why?

Puff, in a heartbeat. Have you seen the yachts that dude cruises on?

If the opportunity should arise, would you have sex in front of another couple?

It's hard to picture how that opportunity would arise, but I guess I would :) I think I'd rather have sex with another couple rather than just having some people watch us have sex though :)

If you could choose anywhere in the world to live, where would it be?

I always wanted to live in Germany. The history there would keep me entertained to no end. I think the politics would drive me crazy though :)

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?

1. I shall have 1 billion dollars
2. My body shall put the finest male model to shame
3. My family shall be healthy and live to 100 years old (is that two wishes?)

Do you think losing your father at a young age has affected you as a parent, and if so, how?

It's definitely affected me as a person. I'm a lot more aware of the fact that life doesn't go on forever, and death doesn't always knock first before barging in. I can't really point to anything I do, or would do, as a parent that would be different if my dad were alive though.

What would you eat for your last meal?

My mom's spaghetti.

Do you ever worry that you got married too young?

Nope. The hot wife and I have been together since we were 17. Marriage only changed how we do our taxes. We truly are soul mates, so if I had to do it over 100 times, I would do it exactly the same way :) (guess who's getting laid tonight?)

You've been in school for a while now. Where do you see yourself professionally in 5 years?

A while? Ya think? I call 10 years an eternity, not a while LOL Honestly, there's not very many places I can go professionally, at least at my place of current employment. A step up would be Engineer, and I missed that boat years ago. I wouldn't make a good Engineer anyways. There aren't a lot of logical reasons for me going to school really, it's just something I continue to do to keep learning.

If you could relive one day in your life (not make changes to it, just relive it) what day would it be?

I think the first time I did acid in 9th grade. Some crazy, crazy things happened that day... and then that night... and then that next morning. The day we got married would be a fun one to relive too, but I was so nervous until about 8 in the evening when the beer started flowing LOL

What's your opinion on open marriages?

Uh, no. Unless it meant that the hot wife only had sex with other women, and then hells yeah.

What blog is your favorite to read? (just kidding.)

I like Suburban Bliss. She's a very good writer, very funny and very real. And I have a feeling she drinks as much as I do, so I don't feel as much an alcoholic parent...

How many kids do you hope to have?

I would like to have a boy and a girl, so two.

How would you feel if Braeden announced that he was gay?

I'd be a little pissed that I would have no one to go to Hooters with, but other than that, I wouldn't care.

What's the meanest thing you ever did to someone?

A couple of years ago the hot wife and I went thru a rough patch. She just started a new job and was working a lot, so I spent a lot of time at home being bored and feeling insecure like an idiot. And I remember one little spat we had, and at some point she asked if I still loved her. I replied something stupid like "sometimes". I felt like such a jackass because I obviously didn't feel that way and don't know why I would say that other than to be mean. But I think it made me realize how immature I was acting and our relationship is a million times better these days :) I love you schmoopy woopy!

What's your favorite song to make out to?

Whatever song is playing in the backround on the porno we're watching...

Do you believe in karma?

I'm actually a pretty big believer in karma, but I'm not a Buddhist or anything. But I do think when you do good things, good things happen to you.

Have you ever lied to your wife?

Yeah... I lied about what I may have or may not have done at my bachelor party LOL I'm a strong believer in the "what happens at a bachelor party, stays at a bachelor party" theory. So I lied. Sue me.

Why are you choosing to parent the way you do?

We didn't really choose anything, we just go with the flow and try to have some fun in the process :) We don't really prescribe to other people's parenting "styles". If there is one thing I simply cannot stand, it's someone telling me how I should do something, and parenting is certainly no exception. We shall blaze our own path :)

Do you think J'Lo sucks or is she totally awesome?

I don't know, but her husband is fugly.

What song do you sing along loudly with in the car that you would NEVER let anyone else hear you sing?

3am by Matchbox 20, the acoustic version :) I pretend I'm playing the piano too, because I've always wanted to be a piano player.

Bea Arthur or Estelle Getty? (if Estelle Getty were alive)

Definitely Estelle, she was hilarious!

Whew! That was tiring LOL

Nick

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

And then there were two...

C from sloppy kisses signed up and was served the questions. See her answers here.

Nick

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Would the real b please stand up?

b wanted to be interviewed. So we came up with some good interview questions. See for yourself here.

Anyone else?

Nick

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just call me, Victor Crackerass

I have to admit, I was a little surprised by some of the answers to the quiz. I wish I had more readers so I could get a better sample size, but that's neither here nor there. And you may be thinking I just pulled these little questions from my own nether region, but oh no, I wouldn't waste your time like that. Well, ok, some questions I just threw out there to make it a little more interesting... Let's review.

Question #1 I asked whether you would take advantage of a romantic getaway including all the accommodations, including an in-room pool, slide, hot tub, etc... Everyone was rather enthusiastic in answering that they would. And I ask because a few co-workers and myself had this very conversation yesterday. Most wouldn't. I said I would too, but they made very good cases regarding the cleanliness of such rooms. Really, think about that, and then reconsider your answer. I'd still go. I figure, if I roll around in some dry splooge, no one's probably the wiser... That's just me though. A comment made about what's in the pool, which is probably never drained or properly cleaned, kind of made me think twice though...

Question #2 was about the State of the Union. It was just a relevant current event type thing. We watched some, but the whole state of politics in this country just pisses me off these days. I'm all for exiling them all and starting from scratch.

Question #3 was to gauge your feelings on race. The definition of racism is discrimination or prejudice based on race. There is indeed a Congressional Black Caucus, which is a group of black congressional members who meet to discuss legislation, or whatever. Recently a new congress member asked to join because he represents a mainly black district. He was denied "membership" because he is white. Think about that for a while.

Question #4 I find a very interesting question. I think most men... wait, stop. I HOPE most men do at least some clean up. But what percentage do you think will admit to it? And no way is anyone waxing their nuts, are you crazy!

Question #5 I was a little surprised at. I thought more people cared, with the way that women follow celebrities these days. Truth be told, I find it a little obnoxious that we parade celebrities out in front of the world to pat them on the back all the time. Oscars, Grammies, this award, that award... Don't we give them enough by seeing the movies? Now we have to give them awards too? Maybe a better question would have been - who will be the first to make an ass of themselves by getting all political after they get their award? Is anything more obnoxious than a political celebrity?

Question #6 I was just putting out some feelers for the weekend.

Question #7 I was surprised again. Not only do I think a majority of women pay men lip service by saying they would have sex with another women, there is no way 99% of women would let their husband/bf have sex with another man. I think the former percentage probably find male gay sex repulsive. You may not want to admit that, but I'd bet the farm on it. There's a reason that dirty talk never involves man on man action. Does it involve girl on girl action? Seriously... I'm asking... does it?

Question #8 I'm just trying to figure out where the hell everyone went... My gut feeling is that blogging by normal, every day people like us hit it's peak about 6 months ago. Now you either get tons of hits, or no hits. Oh well, we press on.

Question #9 I was just looking for something to do Friday night.

Question #10 I asked because it's always fun to imagine yourself a rich millionaire. Living in a city where 100s have struck it rich with the lottery, it's a common discussion anytime the lottery hits $100 million. Tonight's drawing is $240 million. That's a lot of cash people, and I intend to win it. And if I do, I'm going to become a professional poker player and do lots of travelling with my beautiful wife and super cool son.

Well, that was a lot of fun. Thanks for playing. And hey, maybe make up your own quiz. It's fun.

Nick

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Not a so funny...

I'm bored. So, let's do a little quiz, if you would please. I'm interested in seeing where all three of my readers stand on some things.

1. If you won a free romantic "getaway" at a place that included a pool, slide, hot tub, the whole romantic nine yards in your room, would you use it?

2. Are you going to, or did you, watch the State of the Union address?

3. Do you think the Congressional Black Caucus is racist? Do you think a Congressional White Caucus would be?

4. Regarding the nether region of men, completely shaven, partially shaven or let nature take it's course? How about women?

5. Do you really care who wins an Oscar?

6. If I invited you over to play poker on Saturday, would you come?

7. If you could have sex with an incredibly good looking member of the same sex, would you? Would you let your significant other, should you have one?

8. If you come to this blog regularly, why?

9. It's Friday night. If you could do anything in the whole world, what would it be?

10. If you won the $240 million Powerball jackpot tomorrow, and you could spend the rest of your life doing what you really love, what would it be?

Nick

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Monday, January 22, 2007

This post contains 9,090 words...



There are certain things you should come to expect when you win a free 1/2 barrel party (besides a bunch people you invited won't show up, and you'll certainly miss the poker tournament you hoped to play in the following day).




Your tongue will get way too close to the mouths of other men.





You will eat things that you otherwise wouldn't eat.



And drink more beer than you would otherwise drink.



You will see double.



And by the time all is said and done, perhaps not see at all...

Nick

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Friday, January 19, 2007

Artist of the week

This week's artist(s) of the week be a group called People Under The Stairs. They're a hip-hop group formed in LA in the mid-90s. Their music is all sorts of funky and uses quite a bit of sampling.

What else does a cracker from Wisconsin say about it? Just listen and see for yourself.

http://www.box.net/public/5u7qsf7hs7
http://www.box.net/public/rluvx0q1vy
http://www.box.net/public/np2boyc6ov

And then go find an album and buy it - http://www.putsonline.co.uk/

Peace out.

p.s. - the hot wife is back to posting occasionally. Stop by and encourage more of it....

Nick

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

In only 10 years time...

Peeps, 'sup, I have an announcement to make. Me and the woman pictured below, you know, the one that looks like the dude from Flock of Seagulls? Yeah. Well, we've been together for 10 years today.

No, not married for 10 years, how old do you think we are? But together. And if you must know, we've been humping for 9 years and about 8 months. No lie.

That's all.

Nick

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I'm seeing red...

*Warning - the following post contains right-wing political rhetoric sent to me exclusively from Fox News Channel. If you don't like that shit, then leave.

I was reading the following post on some liberal blog this aft, over lunch. I don't know why I do this to myself. I know in my heart I tend to disagree strongly with liberal politics. But it's like when you pass a bad accident on the highway. You don't want to look, but you just do. And then you wish you hadn't, because now that's all you can think about.

Isn't it always amazing how you just come upon accidents that JUST happened? Like, if you were driving a mph faster, you would have been involved? Scary stuff.

Anyways, I'm reading this blog post. Reading. Reading. And then this...

There are issues that do demand [Democratic Party] unity — opposition to President Bush’s effort to end Social Security was one of them, for example...

I find it hard to live with my fellow humans sometimes. Look, I understand if you like Social Security as is. I even understand if all you want to do is oppose the President. It's not a real productive plan, but whatever, it's a free country. Do what you want.

But I simply can't stand the opposition to diverting a small percentage of payroll taxes into a retirement account. It drives me fucking mad. Here's why:

1. It would have been voluntary. If you're against the idea, DON'T DO IT!

2. The government in this country is a fucking joke. Any chance I get to take money away from them, I'll take.

3. My 401k made over 15% last year. The money I put into Social Security hasn't made shit. It never has and never will. In fact, it was probably spent on that stupid fucking bridge to nowhere in Alaska.

4. Politicians don't do Social Security. They don't pay in, they don't take out. Why? Because they're not stupid enough.

5. The money saved in my personal account would be mine. If I die, I would get to give it to someone, like my family. Now, if I die, my family gets just over $200, no matter how much I put into Social Security. Rip off? hmmmm....

This. This is why I don't believe in God. He wouldn't have surrounded me with such idiocy. I don't deserve it.

Nick

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Monday, January 15, 2007

The hot wife is... HOT!

We were going thru some old pictures and happened upon this little number....


But then I thought... I had seen this here picture somewhere before. Somewhere... Wait!



Really I was dating Michael Score from Flock of Seagulls...

Nick

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Good morning.



We were in clear violation of man law #376,834,961 last night. Sorry Burt, I like my Blue Moon with an orange in it...



In other news, Braeden is far more photogenic at 8am. And I need a new hat. But Braeden did get some new kicks...




Nick

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Let's all de-lurk, shall we?



Well, well, well. International de-lurking week. I'm a little behind on this because well, I'm a little behind on everything these days. But de-lurking week is the time when we, who entertain thee, ask that you unmask yourselves. Come out from the shadows and leave a damn comment for once.



You see, you may think it's easy to blog all the time. "Yeah, it looks fun. Maybe I'll start a blog, make up some funny shit and just start typing." I have news for you people, it is not fun. You have to write stuff that is at least partly interesting to your readers, or they will just never come back. It's not easy. It takes work. Especially when you have declining readership, you haven't been linked to on a new blog in two fuckin' years, and you have family and work obligations that mean you can't just sit on the computer all day and night like the rest of you. But that's neither here nor there....

Look, all I ask is that if you read this nonsense once in a while, and you like what you read enough to come back, say hello in the little comments area. Just once a year, that's not too much to ask, is it? Let me, and others, know, we're not wasting our time spilling our collective, creative guts for nothing.

Cool? Cool.

Nick

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Artsy product of the week

Before you know it, we'll be in the market for a tool to transition Braeden from diapers to the toilet. A potty... trainer... thingy. I'm sorry, I just can't say it yet. Potty. It's just such a stupid, immature word. It's like onesie. It took me forever to be able to say onesie. It just sounds dumb. I of course say it now, because, well, what the hell else do you call it? Under shirt... garment... thing?

Well, this Potty Bench from Boon Inc. is a pretty slick potty trainer, as far as potty trainers go. It has multiple compartments for storing junk, and for those of you with kids, you know you just can't have enough compartments for storing junk... It looks very functional, serving as a stool, potty trainer and junk storer. Did I mention you can store lots of junk in it?

Pretty neat. And for under $40, a pretty reasonably priced tool to add to your child raising arsenal. Potty it up ya'll!

Nick

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Art of the week

I guess since I need to retool my wonderful graffiti book for the kids idea, we'll continue on with ideas from people who are better at coming up with ideas. And this is an interesting one. It's basically a plug with a receiver in it. You turn on your music player in one room, and it transmits the signal to this plug, which you then plug into any outlet in your house.

I think as the world becomes more and more wireless, we'll see more things like this, which is cool. My friends are still amazed sometimes when we're in a conversation, and to settle something, I whip out the laptop and pull it up on the internet. One particular friend hates this because he likes to make shit up, assuming I can't easily find out the truth. But they always look around the laptop wondering how I can get the internet without connecting directly to a modem. Wireless baby. It's the wave.

If you're old school like me, you are still hooking your Ipod up to a spare set of computer speakers. It's not realistic to move it from room to room when you're cleaning or partying. Something like this would solve that problem. I like it. Watch for it.

Nick

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Monday, January 01, 2007

Go Braeden Badger!

I'm still an amateur with Photoshop, but this could be a fun way to do photography.

GO BADGERS!

Nick

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