Gustav(e) is a family name

As we sat in the bar this past Saturday, celebrating the fact that God has once again attempted to clear the cesspool of a city we’ve come to known as New Orleans*, I thought back to the hard time we spent in that God-forsaken hell hole (documented here, here and here. Oh, and here too. Wait, here too.) And I thought about all the horrible people that call it home. And how, similar to someone in an ongoing abusive relationship, they just won’t leave it. They just won’t admit that the city, along with the majority of those in it, has failed. Because chances are, if you live there and/or call it home... you’ve probably failed at life.

The only problem is, we don’t make failing at life a real positive experience. It’s pretty shitty actually. You can’t pay your bills, you don’t have enough to eat, and you live in an oven that is super humid, smells like piss and fills up with sewagey water every three years. You can see why people try so hard to avoid failing at life, and even when they do, try desperately to free themselves from it.

And why do they try to free themselves from failure? Well, because on the flip side of failing, we’ve made succeeding at life look pretty damn good. And guess what, it’s not that hard to do. After all, success is only a dollar and five lucky numbers away, right? Maybe it’s only a hot cup of coffee away. Maybe it’s a misprint on your bank statement that puts a few extra zeros on your account balance.

You don’t ever have to worry about not paying your house payment on time.

Or having enough to eat.

Or drowning. In your attic.


Realistically... once you've failed, it's done. Over. Time to stand up, dust yourself off and head for the exit.





Like this dude:

Have a few (stolen) beers, kick back, let the water rise... and go to your happy place.**

Nick

*Actually, it was hot wife’s birthday

** You're damn right I'm cynical, New Orleans still owes me $20.