Looks like someone has a stupid contest to win...

If anyone has followed this blog for some time, you know that one my problems with the modern day interweb is comments. For the most part I allow them on this blog, mainly because I just don't get many. I have had times where I haven't though and took endless flak for it.

Now, have you noticed that every website in interweb land allows comments? Online news is the worst. I specifically avoid some sites because I know I won't be able to avoid reading the comments... and they are all unbelievably stupid.

I read an article today on Obama's healthcare plan. Of course, I glanced at the comments to the article, because I'm dumb. One by imdum49652 said: "obamas not evn a us citazan!"

Ugh.

Were some of these idiots beaten as children? Do they have horrible home lives? Has society failed them?

Maybe I just don't want to face the fact that a sizeable chunk of our population is worthless. Maybe ignorance really is bliss.

If someone left a comment so stupid on my blog I'd have to kick my own ass for attracting an audience like that. I feel stupid just putting it on my blog. I fear this is going to get worse though and will eventually drive me from the interweb altogether.

Comments... Yuck...

Nick

Is it still October???

So yeah, I guess it's been a couple of months since I've written here huh? Let's just pretend I've been writing here the whole time, k? No? Alright, well, what have I been up to?

Well, for starters, I bought a poker league. Actually, I just bought all the equipment to run a poker league. Fun huh? Unfortunately that means I don't get to play too much these days, but, life is tough I guess.

I also still have a kid. Yup. It's true. And he's also a gambling addict. See?



I also joined Facebook. It's not as emo (cool as hell) as blogging, but it makes me feel like I still have some friends.

I traced Braeden's family tree back to, oh, the beginning of time. Yeah, since I'm still not allowed to blog at work, I had to find something to fill in the time. So I started researching the 'ole family tree. More on that later I would imagine...

I've developed a very unhealthy obsession with Spongebob Squarepants. Well, Braeden and I have. Yeah, I know, it's not the most educational programming television has to offer. But if we ever need to rule a bikini bottom, Braeden and (or more likely, or) I are on top of it. Figuratively, not literally.

I still drink more than I should and enjoy sex.

And I miss blogging more than ever. So begins another more than likely failed attempt at reviving this blog.

nick

The sex diet...

Here's an interesting website that I have been playing around with since taking an online health assessment that essentially told me I was a fat pig. In not so many words. Even without signing up, you can browse the nutritional details of just about any food. For example, one of my favorites, the Whopper Jr. from Burger King (responsible for fat pigness) contains way too many fucking calories, way too much fucking fat and, of course, way too much fucking yummy goodness. Actually it contains 410 calories, which is about four times what I should be eating in a given meal.

On the flip side of getting sick seeing how fattening your favorite foods are, you can browse just about every activity you wish you were doing to see how many of those fucking calories you would be burning... if you weren't sitting here reading this blog of course. Which, btw, sitting and reading burns about 100 calories an hour. Or 1/4 of the Whopper Jr.

Now of course the fun part. Well, they don't tell you how many calories you're burning while drinking beer (my guess is it's a lot though), but, they do tell you how many calories you burn while engaging in sexual activity.

According to the wizard who calculates all this crap, passive sexual activity which they specify includes things like light effort kissing and hugging (because who the fuck does that?) burns... are you ready? 83 calories an hour. Which would confirm my theory that no one kisses and hugs for an extended amount of time. Why would you, when sitting and reading burns more calories?

Now we move on to, moderate sexual activity, which I'm not an expert on sexual activity by any means, but I guess would include things like bondage, burning each other with candle wax and swinging (either an actual swing, or another couple... your call). Moderate sexual activity, according to the website, burns 109 calories. Or half a can of coke.

Uh, really? Moderate sexual activity burns the same number of calories as sitting and reading? What the fuck kind of sex are these people having? If you're extending the same amount of energy having sex as you are sitting and reading, maybe you need to rethink your strategy. Like, try moving.

Well, luckily for us that don't play dead when we have sex, they have a category for vigorous sexual activity. Their words, not mine. I guess vigorous sexual activity would include, oh I don't know, farm animals maybe? Sex in a mall bathroom stall? Who knows what the actual definition of vigorous sexual activity may be, but I wouldn't bother with it. It only burns 125 calories an hour. Or half a snickers bar.

Apparently you are better off just going to church and praying that you were having sex, which also burns 125 calories an hour.

So I guess what all this means is that if you've ever heard the excuse "I'm too tired", it's bullshit. You're probably just not all that good with the farm animals. Luckily the lord is though.

Nick

Wanted: sweet ass dishwasher...

Last night, hot wife and I mingled in fashion as A-listers at a Coors Light cocktail party, where I was able to catch a few minutes of the baseball game, and half my head was used in a commercial that cost more than we make in several months. I think we rocked the part, especially given that we don’t really have any friends that have Coors Light cocktail parties, watch the baseball game or shoot super expensive and elaborate commercials. We were hanging with people way out of our league. People who own businesses, sell expensive properties, and live in houses on the lake with nice flooring. People with dishwashers.

I think that with some exposure to more opportunities, hot wife and I would make excellent A-listers, despite being deficient in most categories normally associated with A-listers. We don’t have a dishwasher. The problem with breaking onto the A-list scene when you don’t have fancy things like a dishwasher is that the world is full of non-A-listers. We’re essentially B-listers in a sea of B-listers. So we’ll have to rely on other things besides good jobs and dishwashers.

If I had to list our unconvential A-list qualities, they would be... in no particular order:

1. We’re hot as hell. Well, at least hot wife is hot as hell, and that’s usually all that matters.
2. We’ve been known to get naked in public, but only when appropriate.
3. Who else can drink a dozen Jagerbombs and still stand up straight?
4. Looking to buy a shitty foreclosed house, or, eh, a shower door? Yeah, we can help with that...
5. We’re animal friendly.

It’s pretty obvious that we’re A-list quality. Anyone have a dishwasher for sale?

Nick

What's DILF mean?

So I was thinking, as I sometimes do, wouldn't it be great if I still had access to my old blog posts from my DILF blog? Well, turns out I do! And now you do too! It's a lot of old stuff, you know, from when I was a younger man... but some of it's fun reading if you're ever bored.

http://therealdilf.blogspot.com/

The bots will never take this one alive!!!

btw - does anyone care about politics? Want to hear my take? Tough. Wait, ok, here it is. I hate McCain and I wouldn't ever vote for Obama or Clinton. Hey, who's the Constitution Party's candidate this year?

btww - yeah, Favre finally retired. What, you people didn't see it coming? Me neither. Oh well. We'll miss ya buddy.



Now, off to play poker!

Nick

Want a penis enlargement?

It's nice to see the hacks that jumped all over my old blog after I abandoned it have at least kept my banner up...

http://iamdum.blogspot.com/

I wonder if I could sue someone for that........

nick

This post contains everything you didn't want to know about me...

I've always really wanted to come out of the closet. You know how some people make this big deal about coming out of the closet and announcing they're gay... or that they're 38 and still playing video games... or they're becoming a woman...

Our old dentist actually sent us a two page letter in the mail at one time explaining that he, was now becoming a she. It was one of most awkward pieces of writing I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Back to the closet, and me coming out of it. Now, once upon a time, I sort of came out of a small closet and announced that I was bisexual. But, I think anyone who has been reading this blog for any amount of time already knew of my rather deviant activities, especially relating to sex, so it probably wasn't a real big shocker. And it's no fun to come out of the closet if the door was already half open...

I actually have two confessions to make in this post, or "coming outs", if you will. I expect that when I divulge my first "coming out", a lot of people will lose what little respect they had for me. Upon my second "coming out", I suspect I will have to close this blog for lack of readers... But, no one comes out of the closet with the expectation that life will ever be how it once was. That's the risk you take. So, here I go...

Oh god, how do I say this... Oh, come on, just say it. Ok... I like techno. There! I said it! I like to listen to techno!!! I have a lot of goofy interests when it comes to music, and one of them is techno. It really started back in my drug-doing days. The first time I did acid, a bunch of us spent the night at a friend's house, and one of my friends was the hippy/goofy/techno type. He blasted this music thru the house all night that really drove several of us to edge of insanity. But it was fun. The music was trippy.

I've never been a raver type though. You know, the kids who take a bunch of weird drugs like ecstasy and suck on those ring sucker things... yeah, not me. I did go to an outdoor rave once though. It was in a city park, in the middle of the day. A bunch of djs just set up in a park shelter, with their turntables and enough damn electronics to power a KISS concert. And then imagine 50 or 60 kids running around the park with so much pot and acid that people were just giving it away, and throwing it on the ground. And we grew up in a very capitalistic drug scene. Nothing was free, and no way were drugs ever wasted. But, it was a weird, weird, very weird day...

So yeah, me and techno... whodathunkit? By the way, the hot wife absolutely hates techno, so you're not alone in your disgust and disdain.

And now, if you've thrown up already reading this post, I would suggest just closing your browser. What I'm about to tell you is not for the faint of heart. Ugh... this hurts... Ok, while I'm not exactly a fan of the group, I like a couple of extended dance mix versions from a group called Tatu...

Most sane people are scratching their heads... "who the fuck is Tatu?" Well, you may or may not remember, a couple of years ago they came on to the MTV scene with a song called "All the things she said". And then there was this big controversy about their manager, who just put two Russian girls together and paraded them out as lesbian schoolgirls who run around in their underwear and make out in the pouring rain. Apparently there's a market for that kind of stuff? Who knows...

I realize that extended dance mix version is just a nice way of saying shitty techno, but something about girls singing in Russian to shitty techno does it for me. Hey, it's not my fault they were poor Russian girls taken advantage of by some weirdo, pervert manager and exploited by an American culture obsessed with sex (me)... Actually, I'm really just obsessed with female singers.

Well, if I'm going to hell, you might as well come with. So, some Tatu over in the box.

Love ya
Nick

I'm a dance dance dance dance dancing machine....

Twice now in the past two days I've had conversations about dancing. In particular, men who dance, and the women who love them. Some women pretend they don't drool all over men who can dance. They're liars. All, and yes dammit, I mean all, women love a man who can rip up a dance floor. And therein lies the problem. 99.9% of men can't dance to save their lives.

I can't dance to save my life. I'm the whitest white boy when it comes to dancing... it's really pretty sad.

Which makes you wonder... if most men can't dance, why do women like men who can dance? Why the unreasonable desires? It would be like if men liked women who were cheerleaders... or strippers, or what not. Most women aren't those things, so who would we be to have such unreasonable desires?

I of course have no idea, like the rest of the planet, exactly why women are the way they are. But I've thought about this for about six minutes now and I think I may have come up with a couple of reasons why women like a man who can dance.

One obvious reason is that, because so few men are willing to step out of their typical manly comfort zone to learn to dance, it's like they're getting something that no one else has. Like a really rare purse, or roses on a random day, etc... Maybe they don't even really like the dude, or could give a rip that he can dance. Just as long as no one else can have him, but they know everyone wants him... that's usually enough.

A likelier reason would be that women are just sick of dancing with other women. And sick of guys just sitting on the sidelines watching, dreaming, waiting for that moment where they just say, "fuck it", and start kissing, and it moves to the side of the dance floor where they start ripping off each others...

...wait... what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, dancing.

I think unfortunately for us men, the likeliest reason that women love men that can dance is because of the movie Wedding Crashers. Don't even tell me you women didn't get all tingly seeing Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn set the dance floor on fire in that movie. Them fuckers...

Ya know, the whole premise of that movie is every guy's worst nightmare. If you can dance, you take home tons of women. For how funny and entertaining that movie was, it was probably the greatest single disservice to men in general. Two great looking men, who can dance, are funny and witty, and single...

As men, we have a fuck of a lot of work to do...

Nick

Friday nothingness

Well, I'm in the new blogger in draft. Doesn't seem to special, except you can upload video. That might be nice... we'll see.

Other than that, just uploaded some new music for ya'll in the box. This week's theme is cover songs. I like cover songs because when you hear the real song, you can actually sing along, and then people look at you and say, "how the hell do you know the words to this song?!"

I like to appear more cultural than I really am...

Hope you like them.

Nick

The HSUS? Oh, I love them!

If you follow the national media, and in particular football, you have probably heard about Atlanta Falcon's quarterback Michael Vick. He's in some heat because a house he owns in Virginia was raided in April and what they found suggested the occupants were involved in dog fighting.

Well, there was an interesting article that showed up by the Associated Press today involving our good friend Wayne Pacelle of the Humane Society of the United States. Wayne has apparently been on a letter writing campaign, blasting Nike for not immediately dropping Vick, even before he has been charged with any crime.

We've previously dealt with PeTA, but perhaps we should deal with the HSUS and Wayne Pacelle, since apparently even the national news media has no intention of exposing them for who they really are.

First, let's deal with the organization, Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). It was established in 1954 as the National Humane Society, a spin-off group from the American Humane Association. In 1970, the group had 30,000 members and an annual budget of $500,000. By the end of 2003, they had over $113 million in assets and paid over $14.8 million in annual salaries and benefits.

You would think, with all that money, the HSUS would be funding every shelter and dog rescue in the country. But in 2002, the HSUS gave only $150,000 to actual humane societies and shelters. In fact, on their website it states: The HSUS is neither legally nor contractually affiliated with—nor is a parent organization for—local humane societies, animal shelters, or animal care and control agencies. In short, The HSUS does not operate or have direct control over any animal shelter.

Pretty tricky to have a name like Humane Society of the United States and not be affiliated with any actual humane society, don't you think? Like PeTA, the HSUS realized that if you have a warm and fuzzy name, it helps mask your radical agenda from the uniformed public.

On to it's wonderful leader. In 2004 Wayne Pacelle became HSUS President and CEO. Pacelle is a strict vegan and immediately went to work targeting the treatment of farm animals, promoting a vegan diet and the elimination of all hunting and breeding of domestic animals. In a June 2005 interview, Pacelle said that HSUS is working on "a guide to vegetarian eating" and emphasized "reducing meat consumption" as one of HSUS’s goals. Hmmm. Sounds like PeTA's goals too...

"We have no ethical obligation to preserve the different breeds of livestock produced through selective breeding. . One generation and out. We have no problem with the extinction of domestic animals. They are creations of human selective breeding." Wayne Pacelle, Animal People, May, 1993.

"If we could shut down all sport hunting in a moment, we would." Wayne Pacelle, Associated Press, Dec 30, 1991.

"Our goal is to get sport hunting in the same category as cock fighting and dog fighting." Wayne Pacelle, (Bozeman (MT) Daily Chronicle, October 8, 1991.

He kind of sounds like a nutcase, right? A nutcase who doesn't even really care for animals all that much apparently...

"I don’t have a hands-on fondness for animals... To this day I don’t feel bonded to any non-human animal. I like them and I pet them and I’m kind to them, but there’s no special bond between me and other animals." Wayne Pacelle quoted in Bloodties: Nature, Culture and the Hunt by Ted Kerasote, 1993, p. 251.

Who else is/was involved in the HSUS? Let's take a peak...

In 1986, the Washingtonian asked then-HSUS Vice-President for Laboratory Animals John McArdle about his opinion that brain-dead humans should be substituted for animals in medical research. "It may take people a while to get used to the idea," McArdle said, "but once they do the savings in animal lives will be substantial."

And then...

There's Ariana Huemer, anarchist and HSUS government-affairs employee. An FBI evidence recovery log from the search of Daniel Andreas San Diego’s car describes a check Huemer wrote to him. San Diego, member of a group called Revolutionary Cells, and currently on the FBI’s "Most Wanted" list, is presumed responsible for 10-pound shrapnel bombs detonated in 2003 at two California biomedical research companies. One of these bombs was accompanied by a "secondary" device, timed to detonate after paramedics and firefighters arrived on the scene.

Revolutionary Cells' statement told employees: "You never know when your house, your car even, might go boom. Who knows, that new car in the parking lot may be packed with explosives. Or maybe it will be a shot in the dark ... all customers and their families are considered legitimate targets."

And then...

There's John "J.P." Goodwin. Before joining HSUS, Goodwin was a member of the terrorist organization Animal Liberation Front. In 2000, HSUS sent Goodwin as it's emissary on a tour of Chinese fur farms. By 2001 he was an HSUS employee, and as of at least 2005, was still on the full-time staff. Besides being arrested and convicted of vandalizing fur retailers in several states, he told reporters for the Deseret News (March 11, 1997) in reference to a $1 million ALF arson of a fur farmers' feed co-op in Utah, "We're ecstatic. We have no problem with inanimate objects being destroyed so animate objects can survive. We believe life is more valuable than property".

"It's time for the animal rights movement to take this [fur] industry and drive the final nail into the coffin by whatever means it takes. If that means being outside the executives houses, if that means blockading their doors, whatever it takes." J.P. Goodwin, Humane Society of the US Campaign Director, former executive director of the Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade, in speech at the World Congress for Animals, June 20, 1996.

"We have found that civil disobedience and direct action has been powerful in generating massive attention in our communities ... and has been very effective in traumatizing our targets." J.P. Goodwin, National Animal Rights Convention '97, June 27, 1997.

"My goal is the abolition of all animal agriculture." J.P. Goodwin, as quoted on AR-Views, an animal rights Internet discussion group in 1996.

Also, lucky for you, HSUS, like PeTA, spreads animal-rights propaganda to school-children as young as five.

One package, titled "People and Animals - A Humane Education Guide", suggests films and books for teachers to present to their students. In these recommended teaching tools, sport hunters are called "selective exterminators" and "drunken slobs" who participate in a "blood sport" and a "war on wildlife" with "maniacal attitudes toward killing."

Just thought I would give you a little taste of the organization and who plays with it, because I doubt most people go looking for this information on their own. Neat huh?

Nick

What the frack?

I... uh.... hmmm...

A baby bed made of cardboard huh?

Well, at least Al Gore would be proud....

What else do you say? You can, uh... paint it? And draw pretty pictures on it?

Fuck... I give up...

Nick

We'll always have Paris baby...

I don't understand why people can't just get over themselves and leave my poor girlfri.... er, good friend Paris alone. Come on people. Like you've never drove drunk and violated your probation, and then got released from jail early, and then had to go back to jail for an even longer sentence....

Hypocrites....

btw - does anyone really look hotter in a tie than me? Don't answer that...

Nick

Sorry honey!

Well, so much for our vacation in Iran...

Iran's parliament on Wednesday voted in favor of a bill that could lead to death penalty for persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.

With a 148-5 vote in favor and four abstentions, lawmakers present at the Wednesday session of the 290-seat parliament approved that "producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corruptors of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corruptors of the world."

The term, "corruptor of the world" is taken from the Quran, the Muslims' holy book, and ranks among the highest on the scale of an individual's criminal offenses. Under Iran's Islamic Penal Code, it carries a death penalty.

Yay! I've always wanted to be a "corruptor of the world"! Just saying it makes me horny...

Corruptor of the world!

Corruptor of the world!

rarrr......

Nick

All about me

When I seen the other day that a few people have been looking at the new link I put up to 100 things about me, I realized it hasn't been updated in some time. Over the past year, some things have changed. So, I present to you, 100 things about me:


1. I married my high school sweetheart
2. I was a virgin until we met (yes, I've only slept with one person)
3. I met her thru her friend, who was my childhood crush
4. And my friend, who was hers
5. We have a boy named Braeden
6. I tried crack when I was 13
7. I started smoking when I was 13
8. I quit 9 years later
9. I sold LSD in my high school biology class
10. And did LSD more than I care to admit
11. I've done cocaine, mushrooms and marijuana as well
12. I've never tried heroine or ecstasy
13. I've been bit by a Rottweiler, twice
14. I used to train protection dogs
15. In 9 years, we've had 10 Rottweilers, some were foster dogs
16. I was on the board of directors for a dog rescue for 6 years
17. In that time I quit 3 times
18. I don't have dogs anymore
19. I used to design machines that made adult diapers
20. Now I design bathing products
21. I was on Tom Cruise's personal jet
22. I flew to Tennessee and back in one day, twice (not on Tom Cruise's jet)
23. I hate flying
24. I'm deathly afraid of heights
25. I'm a poker nut
26. And a trivia nut
27. And a history nut
28. People talking on their cell phones drive me nuts
29. I have an 80+ strong beer bottle collection, all full
30. I only got 3 points off on my driving test
31. But have caused 2 accidents
32. I have an Associates degree in Mechanical Design
33. I'm going to school for a Bachelor's in Industrial Management
34. My dream is to be a professional poker player
35. My birthday is August 7th
36. I'm 27
37. My dad passed away when I was 24
38. I'd give anything to be 23
39. I have 2 sisters, and 1 adopted brother
40. I used to be in a punk band called Wicked Pete
41. We dropped - and the Beer Drinking Goats - from the name
42. I can play guitar, the bass and a little of the drums
43. I can't sing to save my life
44. I wish I knew how to play the piano
45. And the harmonica
46. I used to be a punk
47. I used to hang out with skinheads
48. Then I realized racism sucks
49. I was once asked to join a gang
50. I played hockey for 9 years
51. I was a cub scout for 2 years
52. I'm supposedly Lutheran
53. I don't believe in a God
54. I don't believe in ghosts
55. I'm claustrophobic, but not afraid of the dark
56. I think horror movies are dumb
57. I can't dance
58. My favorite movie is Old School
59. My favorite food is a bacon cheeseburger
60. My favorite beer is Blue Moon, with an orange slice
61. The sight of my own blood makes me sick
62. I have never broken a bone
63. I have lived in Tennessee
64. And Upper Michigan
65. I was born in Wisconsin
66. Because the town we lived in (in Michigan) had no hospital
67. I had 5 wisdom teeth
68. My hair would be grey if I didn't dye it
69. My first job was for $4.60 an hour
70. I've been a pin chaser in a bowling alley
71. And a janitor
72. I watched an F5 tornado, start to finish
73. The philosophies of true communism fascinate me
74. I believe anarcho-socialism would be great
75. I voted for Bush, twice
76. I'm not a Republican
77. I'm pro-abortion
78. I don't have any guns, but I do have a battle axe
79. I've only shot a gun once
80. I can't draw
81. I once protested in front of a pet store
82. I was once a show and tell... with my dog
83. I have Wayne Gretzky's autograph
84. And Hulk Hogan's
85. This blog used to be called i think washing your hands is stupid...
86. This is my second blog
87. I had a third called DILF for a while, but didn't like it
88. I had a fourth called Make Me Pancakes, but didn't like it
89. The hot wife and I have another blog we do together
90. Two uninvited strangers had sex at our wedding
91. Two weeks later, we had sex at someone else's
92. They're divorced now
93. I've been to 15 states besides Wisconsin
94. I've had sex in 6, besides Wisconsin
95. I've smoked pot in 4
96. I've fished for a wild crocodile in Georgia
97. I once got lost on the way to Iowa, and ended up in O'Hare Airport parking lot
98. I got hustled for $20 in New Orleans
99. I was glad when it flooded
100. I can ride a bike backwards

You can be God too, if you have pets.

There was a point in my life, believe it or not, that I pictured myself never having kids. And I was fine with that. Honestly, I didn't want kids. For one, I was enjoying the freedom we had, the sleeping in, the drinking... And I didn't think I would be any good as a parent. I had never changed a diaper, never held a child in my arms... how the fuck could I possibly be any good at parenting? Some would probably argue that now, even after having done those things, I'm still not any good at parenting... They're probably right, but anywho...

I always knew the hot wife wanted kids. But because of my fear, my selfishness, whatever, I would make excuses to wait. I would always say that we could start trying when the dogs were gone, because it would be easier to not have to worry about them with a kid crawling and running around the house. At the time, I thought they would live to be 12. Or 13. And that would give me a few years to get past the fear, the selfishness, the sleeping in, the drinking.

Actually, if we would have stuck to that excuse, we would start trying Friday night.

Back in August or September '05, I forget exactly when, I woke up one morning with the worst hangover I had probably ever had. We had been trying to start our dream business and kept getting our hopes stomped on every turn we took. So instead of facing reality and moving on, we drank. Night after night. Everything was going in the wrong direction, so when I woke up with this hangover, I decided I needed to make a change. So I stumbled downstairs, holding my head...

"I'm sick of this shit... let's have a kid."

And we did... as you're probably aware. Sometimes my impulsiveness actually does win over my procrastination... And for that, I'm so glad. Because I know, if we didn't have a wonderful child to care for, both our dogs were playing happily in doggie heaven, and I didn't have to worry about anything other than myself... I would probably drink myself into a fucking coma this weekend...

Nick

What the fuck was I thinking?

The hot wife and I took a trip down memory lane the other night. We pulled out two boxes of stuff from the past. She went thru all of our old love letters to each other from high school, and I rummaged thru old cassette tapes. Some of it, music I haven't heard probably since CD players came out. We even have some taped practice sessions from our old punk band Wicked Pete. Of course, the music and sound quality is so awful that it's hard to listen to... but I was amazed I still had some of this stuff. And I was having a grand time going thru it, until I pulled out one tape. It was labeled - Skinhead Mix.

When I was kid, maybe 13 or 14 years old, there weren't any skinheads in our city. We were all just punks. Of course, we didn't have many minorities either. Not until the later years of high school did the skinheads start showing up. And there were never any Klan rallies or anything, but they were there. And some of the kids I hung out with became associated with them. Naturally, being the young, dumb, easily-moldable mind I was, I became associated with some of them. I was never a skinhead myself. I never had a problem with minorities, or Jewish people, or the government, or whatever else skinheads claim to be against. Though I listened to and read their nonsense propaganda, and I listened to the music, the message never really caught on with me.

I did a lot of really stupid things when I was a kid. Just the drug use alone... sometimes I wonder how I've gotten to be where I am. When I think of how different things would be if that cop who busted us smoking weed in our car had been a dick and actually arrested us. Or if my sophmore Biology teacher would have caught me selling acid to the kid sitting next to me. Sometimes I wonder - what the fuck was I thinking?

But I don't have any regrets about that stuff. I don't regret getting drunk for the first time when I was 12, or smoking weed for the first time when I was 13, or all the acid and mushrooms we did.

I do regret being so stupid and close-minded that I would hang out with skinheads. That I would listen to the music and not realize what it was really saying. To not have the guts or the sense of mind to just walk away from all that crap... it bothers me now. It bothered me as I looked at that tape.

I wonder if I ran into myself at 16, if I would recognize myself. And I wonder how soon after trying to talk sense into the 16 year old me, that I would just give up and kick my own ass...

I give myself about 3 minutes.

Nick

I remember... Monday...

* I'm not sure you all can appreciate how scary it is to go to the bathroom and see something red hanging from your junk. I wonder how much of your life is taken away from you every time your heart skips a beat... No worries though. It was just a piece of string that must have latched on from my man panties. God I hate when underwear are called man panties...

* No poker tournaments this weekend, but I did manage to get released to play H.O.R.S.E. Saturday night. Left up about $40 again. Big money!

* Along the lines of ya'll not appreciating things... I don't think ya'll appreciate just how awesome the hot wife is. We're sitting at home Friday night, and her boss calls. I wish she still blogged so she could tell this story. But she doesn't, so the task falls to me. Anyways, her boss calls. Now, keep in mind that she just started this new job like a month ago. Well, her boss tells her that she is doing such a great job, that he wants to talk to her this week about a raise! And he wanted to tell her Friday night so she could have a better weekend!

* I realized Friday night that I'm one step closer to retiring and becoming a stay at home dad. Yay. Me.

* I'm not so sure I like my horoscope today:

The stakes are getting higher in your life, which is not only exciting but also a good sign that you're getting closer to the success you want. However, you have a little bit more to lose right now. Therefore, you should keep an eye out for people who might not have your best interests at heart. Someone could be devising a scheme to put you at a disadvantage. Someone might be saying things about you that aren't true. Sunshine is a great disinfectant, so get any suspicions out into the open.

* And now, a question. I've been following a discussion on another site. Our local newspaper reported on a sexual assault of a child. Gee, haven't heard of that one lately huh? Anyways, they withheld the name of the "accused" to prevent the victim from being identified. Quite the dilemma. Obviously there are two sides of the issue, and I'm just not sure what side I'm on. Not taking into account that false accusations do occur, but assuming the accused is guilty of the crime. Is it more important to report the facts of the crime, or to protect the identity of the poor kid. I think as a citizen I would say it's more important to protect society from this creep, and if we don't know who it is, how can we be protected from them? But then I put myself in the shoes of the parents of this kid. Would I want my child's identity revealed in that situation? I can't say that I would be too happy if it was. What side are you on?

* I don't know how parents of kids who are victims of sex crimes hold it together. I know for a fact I would lose it and I wouldn't rest until that person was dead. Not in jail... but dead. I don't get how as a society we can not only be against the death penalty for these creeps, but we're so soft on them. You molest or rape a child and you sit three or five years in jail and then you're out? That's seriously fucked up.

* Eh, we should end on a lighter note, shouldn't we. Hey, it's Tuesday already! That doesn't really help, does it? Me neither. Oh well.

Nick

Give me your tired, your poor...

I'm looking for some new reading material. Don't read that wrong, I haven't stopped reading any of your blogs, well, most of you anyways. But some of the blogs I used to read just don't post anymore, and I feel like there is something missing in my life now.

If you're thinking I have stopped reading your blog, chances are I have. Or I just read it on bloglines now, in which case, I wouldn't show up in your stats unless I'm kind enough to drop in to leave a comment. That probably doesn't happen much.

Let me tell you what I like in a blog, and then you can send me links that you think I would like. If you send me a really good one, I'll give you a prize.

- Must post regularly
- Must include at least some witty, clever humor
- Must be about 5'6", blonde, smart... wait, where am I?
- Would prefer if they didn't get more than 57 comments on posts already. I like the less-travelled path.
- A heavy drinker is a plus
- I already have one read who makes their readers teary-eyed on a regular basis, I don't need another.
- Some politics are ok, so long as it's not just bashing George Bush all the time
- Must be kind to animals
- If you know of any twin, blonde, single, college-aged women co-writing a blog, definitely send me that link. Just send that one via email so the hot wife doesn't see....

Ok then. Bring on your best reads!

Nick

HiiiiiiiiYA!

The hot wife had some work to do at home last night. So after putting the boy to bed, I finally took Chuck Norris up on his request to duel.

We stepped into my dojo in the basement. Only, immediately upon seeing my vast array of martial art skills... Chuck knelt. And surrendered unconditionally. Then he got me a beer.



This morning Chuck sent the following email:

From: "C Norris" <>
To: junyer_mint@yahoo.com
Bcc:
Subject: Last Night
Date: Wed, 23 May 2007 10:58:44

Chuck asks for forgiveness and mercy.

Always your student,
Chuck
***

What a little sissy boy.

Nick

You're old and dumb... I'm only dumb...

I guess the United Blogging Council got together and decided that this week's main topic would be age. I've seen the topic discussed on two different blogs now, one is Dawn's and the other is not an appropriate link for this blog.

The topic of age and how that relates to maturity and knowledge and experience and whether or not you should get married is one that I rarely see eye to eye with others on. Because, as you may or may not know, I'm always the exception. Trust me. There's nothing I fucking hate more, than when someone says to me - "well, you're the exception." I've killed people for far less, so don't go there.

Example one. When I was the ripe old age of 19, I got involved in dog rescue. And thru that involvement, helped to start a 10 state Rottweiler Rescue called MidAmerica Rottweiler Rescue. Pretty soon I was on the board of directors as the Adoption Coordinator. And then Volunteer Coordinator. And then Vice President. But many people in that rescue wouldn't have let me adopt a dog because I was under 21, or 25, or whatever stupid number they wanted to put on maturity and the ability to care for a dog.

The justification? "Well, of course at 19 years old, you couldn't possibly know what you want in life." "You're probably going to go to college, and then get married, and then move, and the dog will be out in the street."

I would fight with these people endlessly about age requirements. Don't assign a number to maturity. If someone isn't mature enough to care for a dog, what does it matter if they are 15 or 45? And vice versa. My point was, nothing happens on your 21st birthday that makes you ready and mature enough to do anything. Whether it's drink, get married, adopt a dog, whatever. People should be evaluated on an individual basis and not simply because of their age. It just doesn't mean very much to me. I know 10 year old kids that are more mature than most 50 year olds.

Example 2. I met my now wife when we were 17. Seniors in high school. Virgins (oh the horror!). We fell in love almost right away. After high school we moved out, got a Rottweiler, got jobs, went to college, had a lot of sex, drank, did drugs, whatever. Then we moved again, and still kept our dog. And then we bought a house at 22. And then we got married at 23. And still kept our dog! Had a (gasp!) kid at 27, with TWO ROTTWEILERS! I know, I know, everyone told us the dogs were going to EAT our kid, and then turn on us and EAT US!

What's my point? I seen a comment on another blog that said if you get married in your 20s, before basically sleeping around with as many people as you can, you're making a "big, big mistake". I don't think we made a mistake. In fact, I wouldn't do it any other way. I don't have to picture my wife having sex with someone else, because there is no one else she's had sex with. There's no diseases to worry about. And I certainly have no desire to get divorced now and go sleep with everyone, not that anyone besides the hot wife would sleep with me anyways... But I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

I just don't buy into a lot of the age stereotypes that people throw out there. It's fine if you were too immature at that age to make decisions about your path in life, but don't assume that the rest of us are as well. While we've certainly made some mistakes along the way, and things are not always strawberry fields forever, I think the hot wife and I are great examples of how it can work out. We've made changes in our lives, sure, but we chose to make them together and never once have we felt like we missed out on anything in our lives.

Nick