Friday, February 19, 2010

You don't like zebras?

Clearly I have way too much to talk about, what, with the Tiger episode today, our trip to Minnesota this weekend, etc, etc, etc.  But I cannot resist this.  Let me break it down for you...

A school in Pennsylvania gives thousands of it's students free laptops.  With webcams.  That can be remotely activated so that the school can see what is in front of the laptop.  Wait...  What?


I know... schools... giving students laptops.  If you're like me, your school didn't give you shit when you were a kid.  Because, you know, they had budgets and what not... consisting of real money.   And, well, we didn't have laptops.  With webcams.  There was basically no web for their to be a cam for until I was probably 13 anyways, and even then, if you were there back then... you know the web just sucked.

But imagine being a teacher today, and you're sitting in your teacher lounge with other teachers, probably sniffing dry erase markers (do they even still have chalk boards?), and someone comes up with this idea...

"I know.."  (sniff, sniff)  "What if we gave everyone some tricked out laptop... with webcams... that we can activate remotely.... you know, just in case anyone steals it..."

"Wow Professor Shit For Fucking Brains, what a great idea!"

(sniff, sniff)  "Yeah!"



No teacher put their marker down, used their god given brain and said, "Wait, my head is doing something... it's telling me that might be such a great idea afterall.  Yup, it's saying that's a bad idea.  A bad, stupid idea..."

A laptop.  With a webcam.  That can be remotely activated.

Let's forget for a second that, you know, people go to pound me in the ass prison for spying on people without their knowledge and consent, nevermind they be CHILDREN...  Can you begin to comprehend what goes on in a teenagers bedroom?  With a laptop?  And a webcam?  I know what went on in my bedroom when I was a teenager, and I didn't have a laptop.  Or a webcam.  Or the web.

I'm guessing if someone had remote access to my bedroom when I was a teenager, I wouldn't just have been called into Vice Principal Shit For Brains office for "inappropriate behavior".  I probably would have been sent to away.  Far away.

What, like you never played with zebras when you were a teenager???


Good zebra...


Extra Ordinary Me said...

Wow. That's bad.

Nick said...

And yucky.