Fuck you Friday, and, Interview time, again...

The interviews strike again. This time it's the little things... flings some questions over. And I answer.


1. I know you have a young child. If I told you the only way he would have a happy life is if you were to walk out right now and never see him again, would you do it?

Consider me gone. The happiness of my child is infinitely more important than mine. I know that even if I wasn't around, he would have a wonderful family structure around him and he would be raised properly. He's a smart boy, I know he would do fine.

2. If the Hot Wife were to leave you tomorrow, what would be your plan to carry out the rest of your life?

I guess the first thing I would do is start looking for an apartment... And then I would hit the bars looking for cute little blonde college girls to take home and (beep) in the (beep). Eat your heart out hot wife.... Hey, you left me, you don't get to tell me what to do anymore!

Honestly, I would probably spend several weeks shocked and depressed. Aside from being my wife, mother to my child and contributor to the household, the hot wife is really my best friend. We essentially do most everything together, and she's the only person in the world that I know I can trust and can tell anything to. That would be a huge hole in my life that I know I would really struggle to fill.

I don't know that I would have a plan. I've never been one to plan. I guess I would just try to take it one day at a time and... fuck, I don't know. I'd be bored, that's for sure.

3. If you could walk away from your current life for one month and go anywhere and do anything and no one would ever find out what it is....what would that be?

Man, would I just love some fucking sleep! I would spend half the time just catching up on sleep. And then I would spend the other half in Vegas at the World Series of Poker, playing every single tournament.

4. If our laws were to suddenly become those of Iran and you were in danger of being labeled a "Corruptor of the World", would you change anything about your lifestyle? If so, what?

I'd probably just move to Canada :) I would not thrive in such a conservative and oppressive society, even if I did make immediate lifestyle changes (stop having sex with the shades open) to avoid being executed. Sooner or later the mullahs would find something to lock me up for (amateur porn websites).

5. If you could bring one person back to life, who would it be?

I would bring the hot wife's father back to life. I would love nothing more to bring my own father back to life, but unlike her, I was fortunate enough to be able to have a father in my life into adulthood. Her father passed away when she was very young and I think it would make a lot of dreams come true for her, and her whole family, to be able to spend time with him. I could also use some boxing lessons :)

And then, even though I've interviewed several of you, rules are rules:

Do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Nick

Sweet Momma!

Ya know how I mentioned the other day that I was going thru some of our old music tapes? I was really hoping to find two bands that I used to love back when I was much younger, Crass and Naked Aggression.

Naked Aggression is a band that came about in the early 90s from Madison, WI. And because of the very abrasive female vocals (see Tilt as well), they quickly became a favorite band for me. In my top 100 (coming soon), they will easily be in the top 10.

Hearing not only the tape I found with them on it, but the .mp3s I was able to get from their website (in the box), brought back a flood of memories... Take a listen, crank it up, and enjoy some good 'ole fashioned punk rock. Much, much better than the Sex Pistols :)

Nick

I'm a dance dance dance dance dancing machine....

Twice now in the past two days I've had conversations about dancing. In particular, men who dance, and the women who love them. Some women pretend they don't drool all over men who can dance. They're liars. All, and yes dammit, I mean all, women love a man who can rip up a dance floor. And therein lies the problem. 99.9% of men can't dance to save their lives.

I can't dance to save my life. I'm the whitest white boy when it comes to dancing... it's really pretty sad.

Which makes you wonder... if most men can't dance, why do women like men who can dance? Why the unreasonable desires? It would be like if men liked women who were cheerleaders... or strippers, or what not. Most women aren't those things, so who would we be to have such unreasonable desires?

I of course have no idea, like the rest of the planet, exactly why women are the way they are. But I've thought about this for about six minutes now and I think I may have come up with a couple of reasons why women like a man who can dance.

One obvious reason is that, because so few men are willing to step out of their typical manly comfort zone to learn to dance, it's like they're getting something that no one else has. Like a really rare purse, or roses on a random day, etc... Maybe they don't even really like the dude, or could give a rip that he can dance. Just as long as no one else can have him, but they know everyone wants him... that's usually enough.

A likelier reason would be that women are just sick of dancing with other women. And sick of guys just sitting on the sidelines watching, dreaming, waiting for that moment where they just say, "fuck it", and start kissing, and it moves to the side of the dance floor where they start ripping off each others...

...wait... what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, dancing.

I think unfortunately for us men, the likeliest reason that women love men that can dance is because of the movie Wedding Crashers. Don't even tell me you women didn't get all tingly seeing Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn set the dance floor on fire in that movie. Them fuckers...

Ya know, the whole premise of that movie is every guy's worst nightmare. If you can dance, you take home tons of women. For how funny and entertaining that movie was, it was probably the greatest single disservice to men in general. Two great looking men, who can dance, are funny and witty, and single...

As men, we have a fuck of a lot of work to do...

Nick

Never mind the other 99...

Given last week's discussion in the comments about the greatest guitar players, I thought it would be fun to come up with my favorite 100 bands of all time. Not necessarily the best, but my favorite. I'm still working on it, but I was pondering whether to put the Sex Pistols on it or not. I went back and listened to some Sex Pistols and decided that I would indeed put them on there. And then I put some in the box as reference, from the album/movie The Great Rock and Roll Swindle. To hell with Never Mind the Bollocks, this album is a much better pick if you want to listen to some Sex Pistols.

btw - as a side note, did you know that Johnny "Rotten" Lydon asked Flea (formerly of FEAR, and then obviously Red Hot Chili Peppers) to be in his post-Pistols band PIL??? I was blown away to learn that Flea was bassist in FEAR, which we learned watching American Hardcore Sunday night... I was even more blown away to think that Flea could have played with Johnny Rotten and turned it down to play in RHCP.

btww - Johnny Rotten is a douche.

btwww - Sid Vicious was a bigger douche and the worst bass player ever.

btwwww - I converted the files to .mp3, so you can preview them without downloading the file.

Nick

Friday nothingness

Well, I'm in the new blogger in draft. Doesn't seem to special, except you can upload video. That might be nice... we'll see.

Other than that, just uploaded some new music for ya'll in the box. This week's theme is cover songs. I like cover songs because when you hear the real song, you can actually sing along, and then people look at you and say, "how the hell do you know the words to this song?!"

I like to appear more cultural than I really am...

Hope you like them.

Nick

Sicko

Bet you thought this post was going to be about Michael Moore. Sorry, only room for one serious topic a month around here...

But, this is an interesting article. Two 14 year old girls were kicked off a Portland, OR city bus for kissing each other.

The girls, both 14, said the driver called them "sickos" after a female passenger complained about their kiss. The driver then stopped the bus along the street and forced them off.

First of all, how prissy and prude do you have to be to complain about two girls kissing on a city bus? It's one thing to not mind your own business, but to go out of your way to complain about it? I thought this was Oregon? Tolerant Oregon...

But second of all, where the hell were all of these girls kissing each other when I was 14? What the hell has happened in the past 13 (gulp) years? Because girls didn't kiss when I was kid. It just didn't happen. It was gay back then. Sick(o). Not to the boys, but to the girls...

I was lucky when I was 13 to have a girl show us her boobs. That was it! We didn't get to watch her make out with her friends... Incidentally, she's now a stripper, so I'm not sure we were the best of influences for her.

I mean, I realize Bill Clinton made oral sex ok for everyone, but what can we point to that made girls kissing other girls ok? What did I miss? I like to consider myself fairly knowledgeable about sexual culture and what not, but I completely missed the boat on this one.

Some days I feel really old...

Nick

The HSUS? Oh, I love them!

If you follow the national media, and in particular football, you have probably heard about Atlanta Falcon's quarterback Michael Vick. He's in some heat because a house he owns in Virginia was raided in April and what they found suggested the occupants were involved in dog fighting.

Well, there was an interesting article that showed up by the Associated Press today involving our good friend Wayne Pacelle of the Humane Society of the United States. Wayne has apparently been on a letter writing campaign, blasting Nike for not immediately dropping Vick, even before he has been charged with any crime.

We've previously dealt with PeTA, but perhaps we should deal with the HSUS and Wayne Pacelle, since apparently even the national news media has no intention of exposing them for who they really are.

First, let's deal with the organization, Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). It was established in 1954 as the National Humane Society, a spin-off group from the American Humane Association. In 1970, the group had 30,000 members and an annual budget of $500,000. By the end of 2003, they had over $113 million in assets and paid over $14.8 million in annual salaries and benefits.

You would think, with all that money, the HSUS would be funding every shelter and dog rescue in the country. But in 2002, the HSUS gave only $150,000 to actual humane societies and shelters. In fact, on their website it states: The HSUS is neither legally nor contractually affiliated with—nor is a parent organization for—local humane societies, animal shelters, or animal care and control agencies. In short, The HSUS does not operate or have direct control over any animal shelter.

Pretty tricky to have a name like Humane Society of the United States and not be affiliated with any actual humane society, don't you think? Like PeTA, the HSUS realized that if you have a warm and fuzzy name, it helps mask your radical agenda from the uniformed public.

On to it's wonderful leader. In 2004 Wayne Pacelle became HSUS President and CEO. Pacelle is a strict vegan and immediately went to work targeting the treatment of farm animals, promoting a vegan diet and the elimination of all hunting and breeding of domestic animals. In a June 2005 interview, Pacelle said that HSUS is working on "a guide to vegetarian eating" and emphasized "reducing meat consumption" as one of HSUS’s goals. Hmmm. Sounds like PeTA's goals too...

"We have no ethical obligation to preserve the different breeds of livestock produced through selective breeding. . One generation and out. We have no problem with the extinction of domestic animals. They are creations of human selective breeding." Wayne Pacelle, Animal People, May, 1993.

"If we could shut down all sport hunting in a moment, we would." Wayne Pacelle, Associated Press, Dec 30, 1991.

"Our goal is to get sport hunting in the same category as cock fighting and dog fighting." Wayne Pacelle, (Bozeman (MT) Daily Chronicle, October 8, 1991.

He kind of sounds like a nutcase, right? A nutcase who doesn't even really care for animals all that much apparently...

"I don’t have a hands-on fondness for animals... To this day I don’t feel bonded to any non-human animal. I like them and I pet them and I’m kind to them, but there’s no special bond between me and other animals." Wayne Pacelle quoted in Bloodties: Nature, Culture and the Hunt by Ted Kerasote, 1993, p. 251.

Who else is/was involved in the HSUS? Let's take a peak...

In 1986, the Washingtonian asked then-HSUS Vice-President for Laboratory Animals John McArdle about his opinion that brain-dead humans should be substituted for animals in medical research. "It may take people a while to get used to the idea," McArdle said, "but once they do the savings in animal lives will be substantial."

And then...

There's Ariana Huemer, anarchist and HSUS government-affairs employee. An FBI evidence recovery log from the search of Daniel Andreas San Diego’s car describes a check Huemer wrote to him. San Diego, member of a group called Revolutionary Cells, and currently on the FBI’s "Most Wanted" list, is presumed responsible for 10-pound shrapnel bombs detonated in 2003 at two California biomedical research companies. One of these bombs was accompanied by a "secondary" device, timed to detonate after paramedics and firefighters arrived on the scene.

Revolutionary Cells' statement told employees: "You never know when your house, your car even, might go boom. Who knows, that new car in the parking lot may be packed with explosives. Or maybe it will be a shot in the dark ... all customers and their families are considered legitimate targets."

And then...

There's John "J.P." Goodwin. Before joining HSUS, Goodwin was a member of the terrorist organization Animal Liberation Front. In 2000, HSUS sent Goodwin as it's emissary on a tour of Chinese fur farms. By 2001 he was an HSUS employee, and as of at least 2005, was still on the full-time staff. Besides being arrested and convicted of vandalizing fur retailers in several states, he told reporters for the Deseret News (March 11, 1997) in reference to a $1 million ALF arson of a fur farmers' feed co-op in Utah, "We're ecstatic. We have no problem with inanimate objects being destroyed so animate objects can survive. We believe life is more valuable than property".

"It's time for the animal rights movement to take this [fur] industry and drive the final nail into the coffin by whatever means it takes. If that means being outside the executives houses, if that means blockading their doors, whatever it takes." J.P. Goodwin, Humane Society of the US Campaign Director, former executive director of the Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade, in speech at the World Congress for Animals, June 20, 1996.

"We have found that civil disobedience and direct action has been powerful in generating massive attention in our communities ... and has been very effective in traumatizing our targets." J.P. Goodwin, National Animal Rights Convention '97, June 27, 1997.

"My goal is the abolition of all animal agriculture." J.P. Goodwin, as quoted on AR-Views, an animal rights Internet discussion group in 1996.

Also, lucky for you, HSUS, like PeTA, spreads animal-rights propaganda to school-children as young as five.

One package, titled "People and Animals - A Humane Education Guide", suggests films and books for teachers to present to their students. In these recommended teaching tools, sport hunters are called "selective exterminators" and "drunken slobs" who participate in a "blood sport" and a "war on wildlife" with "maniacal attitudes toward killing."

Just thought I would give you a little taste of the organization and who plays with it, because I doubt most people go looking for this information on their own. Neat huh?

Nick

What the frack?

I... uh.... hmmm...

A baby bed made of cardboard huh?

Well, at least Al Gore would be proud....

What else do you say? You can, uh... paint it? And draw pretty pictures on it?

Fuck... I give up...

Nick

vacation

Gas to drive to Wisconsin Dells - $48.00
Beer, chips and sunscreen - $34.57
Pool - $5.00

Splashing the shit out of everything around you for 20 minutes - priceless



Nick

We'll always have Paris baby...

I don't understand why people can't just get over themselves and leave my poor girlfri.... er, good friend Paris alone. Come on people. Like you've never drove drunk and violated your probation, and then got released from jail early, and then had to go back to jail for an even longer sentence....

Hypocrites....

btw - does anyone really look hotter in a tie than me? Don't answer that...

Nick

Sorry honey!

Well, so much for our vacation in Iran...

Iran's parliament on Wednesday voted in favor of a bill that could lead to death penalty for persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.

With a 148-5 vote in favor and four abstentions, lawmakers present at the Wednesday session of the 290-seat parliament approved that "producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corruptors of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corruptors of the world."

The term, "corruptor of the world" is taken from the Quran, the Muslims' holy book, and ranks among the highest on the scale of an individual's criminal offenses. Under Iran's Islamic Penal Code, it carries a death penalty.

Yay! I've always wanted to be a "corruptor of the world"! Just saying it makes me horny...

Corruptor of the world!

Corruptor of the world!

rarrr......

Nick

All about me

When I seen the other day that a few people have been looking at the new link I put up to 100 things about me, I realized it hasn't been updated in some time. Over the past year, some things have changed. So, I present to you, 100 things about me:


1. I married my high school sweetheart
2. I was a virgin until we met (yes, I've only slept with one person)
3. I met her thru her friend, who was my childhood crush
4. And my friend, who was hers
5. We have a boy named Braeden
6. I tried crack when I was 13
7. I started smoking when I was 13
8. I quit 9 years later
9. I sold LSD in my high school biology class
10. And did LSD more than I care to admit
11. I've done cocaine, mushrooms and marijuana as well
12. I've never tried heroine or ecstasy
13. I've been bit by a Rottweiler, twice
14. I used to train protection dogs
15. In 9 years, we've had 10 Rottweilers, some were foster dogs
16. I was on the board of directors for a dog rescue for 6 years
17. In that time I quit 3 times
18. I don't have dogs anymore
19. I used to design machines that made adult diapers
20. Now I design bathing products
21. I was on Tom Cruise's personal jet
22. I flew to Tennessee and back in one day, twice (not on Tom Cruise's jet)
23. I hate flying
24. I'm deathly afraid of heights
25. I'm a poker nut
26. And a trivia nut
27. And a history nut
28. People talking on their cell phones drive me nuts
29. I have an 80+ strong beer bottle collection, all full
30. I only got 3 points off on my driving test
31. But have caused 2 accidents
32. I have an Associates degree in Mechanical Design
33. I'm going to school for a Bachelor's in Industrial Management
34. My dream is to be a professional poker player
35. My birthday is August 7th
36. I'm 27
37. My dad passed away when I was 24
38. I'd give anything to be 23
39. I have 2 sisters, and 1 adopted brother
40. I used to be in a punk band called Wicked Pete
41. We dropped - and the Beer Drinking Goats - from the name
42. I can play guitar, the bass and a little of the drums
43. I can't sing to save my life
44. I wish I knew how to play the piano
45. And the harmonica
46. I used to be a punk
47. I used to hang out with skinheads
48. Then I realized racism sucks
49. I was once asked to join a gang
50. I played hockey for 9 years
51. I was a cub scout for 2 years
52. I'm supposedly Lutheran
53. I don't believe in a God
54. I don't believe in ghosts
55. I'm claustrophobic, but not afraid of the dark
56. I think horror movies are dumb
57. I can't dance
58. My favorite movie is Old School
59. My favorite food is a bacon cheeseburger
60. My favorite beer is Blue Moon, with an orange slice
61. The sight of my own blood makes me sick
62. I have never broken a bone
63. I have lived in Tennessee
64. And Upper Michigan
65. I was born in Wisconsin
66. Because the town we lived in (in Michigan) had no hospital
67. I had 5 wisdom teeth
68. My hair would be grey if I didn't dye it
69. My first job was for $4.60 an hour
70. I've been a pin chaser in a bowling alley
71. And a janitor
72. I watched an F5 tornado, start to finish
73. The philosophies of true communism fascinate me
74. I believe anarcho-socialism would be great
75. I voted for Bush, twice
76. I'm not a Republican
77. I'm pro-abortion
78. I don't have any guns, but I do have a battle axe
79. I've only shot a gun once
80. I can't draw
81. I once protested in front of a pet store
82. I was once a show and tell... with my dog
83. I have Wayne Gretzky's autograph
84. And Hulk Hogan's
85. This blog used to be called i think washing your hands is stupid...
86. This is my second blog
87. I had a third called DILF for a while, but didn't like it
88. I had a fourth called Make Me Pancakes, but didn't like it
89. The hot wife and I have another blog we do together
90. Two uninvited strangers had sex at our wedding
91. Two weeks later, we had sex at someone else's
92. They're divorced now
93. I've been to 15 states besides Wisconsin
94. I've had sex in 6, besides Wisconsin
95. I've smoked pot in 4
96. I've fished for a wild crocodile in Georgia
97. I once got lost on the way to Iowa, and ended up in O'Hare Airport parking lot
98. I got hustled for $20 in New Orleans
99. I was glad when it flooded
100. I can ride a bike backwards

This post is illegal...

Shhh... it's illegal to post these, because they were taken professionally, and aren't technically ours. Sue me...

But, as you may or may not have guessed from a previous post, we're putting our dog to sleep this afternoon. And I've been thinking how much it sucks that Braeden will not be able to grow up with a dog. She was supposed to live for a few years longer. They've already become good buddies. She kisses him and he just laughs...

We're all going to miss her.

Cleo von der Anderung TT, CGC, RTD 6-7-98 ~ 6-8-07

Nick

Love Letters... take one.

Remember how I said the other day that we were going thru some old things, among them old love letters? Well, we thought it would be fun to publish some of them. We're actually publishing them elsewhere, but I thought, why not post them here for you guys to laugh at as well?

This one is dated January 14th, 1997. Our "official" day for becoming bf/gf is January 17th. It's posted in original form with no editing.

Dear Amy Jo

Hey Yo, what's happening? I just finished that grueling Graphix final, actually it wasn't that bad. You'd be amazed at all the things you can learn by just sitting there staring off into space.

But anyways, enough with the jibber jabber (or whatever). I'm writing you today because I wanted to ask you something but I don't want to put you in an akward position by pressuring you into anything, and I'm too shy to say anything. I was just wondering if we'll ever be anything besides friends. I think it would be really cool but I can't figure out how you feel about it. I guess I just want to know if I'm taking this all wrong so if I am just let me know. I'll feel like a dumbass but I'll feel alot better knowing. I really enjoy being friends with you so I hope I'm not fucking everything up by writing this. But lately it seems like we've been getting a little bit closer. Even while I was going out with Jenny it felt like I was closer to you than her. (Don't tell her that because that's really mean, but that's just the way I feel). Actually, that's really mean, alright forget I wrote that. (I don't feel like erasing all that) Anyways I should get cruisin'. You should write back or give me a call, I'll be home after 7:30.

Peace and Love
Nicholaus

p.s. if you hate me for writing this then Fuck You! Just kidding, I had to put a little humor in this!

Nick

New Music

Some new music over in the box. No real theme this time, just what I'm listening to at the moment. Dawn - you *might* like the Ferraby Lionheart song. You're the only person I know who likes N'Orleans... but not sure how you feel about big band. He's touring with Mason Jennings btw.

Let me know if you hear something you want to hear more of.

And give the Kim Barlow stuff a chance. It's twangy, yes, but I love her voice :)

Nick

You can be God too, if you have pets.

There was a point in my life, believe it or not, that I pictured myself never having kids. And I was fine with that. Honestly, I didn't want kids. For one, I was enjoying the freedom we had, the sleeping in, the drinking... And I didn't think I would be any good as a parent. I had never changed a diaper, never held a child in my arms... how the fuck could I possibly be any good at parenting? Some would probably argue that now, even after having done those things, I'm still not any good at parenting... They're probably right, but anywho...

I always knew the hot wife wanted kids. But because of my fear, my selfishness, whatever, I would make excuses to wait. I would always say that we could start trying when the dogs were gone, because it would be easier to not have to worry about them with a kid crawling and running around the house. At the time, I thought they would live to be 12. Or 13. And that would give me a few years to get past the fear, the selfishness, the sleeping in, the drinking.

Actually, if we would have stuck to that excuse, we would start trying Friday night.

Back in August or September '05, I forget exactly when, I woke up one morning with the worst hangover I had probably ever had. We had been trying to start our dream business and kept getting our hopes stomped on every turn we took. So instead of facing reality and moving on, we drank. Night after night. Everything was going in the wrong direction, so when I woke up with this hangover, I decided I needed to make a change. So I stumbled downstairs, holding my head...

"I'm sick of this shit... let's have a kid."

And we did... as you're probably aware. Sometimes my impulsiveness actually does win over my procrastination... And for that, I'm so glad. Because I know, if we didn't have a wonderful child to care for, both our dogs were playing happily in doggie heaven, and I didn't have to worry about anything other than myself... I would probably drink myself into a fucking coma this weekend...

Nick

What the fuck was I thinking?

The hot wife and I took a trip down memory lane the other night. We pulled out two boxes of stuff from the past. She went thru all of our old love letters to each other from high school, and I rummaged thru old cassette tapes. Some of it, music I haven't heard probably since CD players came out. We even have some taped practice sessions from our old punk band Wicked Pete. Of course, the music and sound quality is so awful that it's hard to listen to... but I was amazed I still had some of this stuff. And I was having a grand time going thru it, until I pulled out one tape. It was labeled - Skinhead Mix.

When I was kid, maybe 13 or 14 years old, there weren't any skinheads in our city. We were all just punks. Of course, we didn't have many minorities either. Not until the later years of high school did the skinheads start showing up. And there were never any Klan rallies or anything, but they were there. And some of the kids I hung out with became associated with them. Naturally, being the young, dumb, easily-moldable mind I was, I became associated with some of them. I was never a skinhead myself. I never had a problem with minorities, or Jewish people, or the government, or whatever else skinheads claim to be against. Though I listened to and read their nonsense propaganda, and I listened to the music, the message never really caught on with me.

I did a lot of really stupid things when I was a kid. Just the drug use alone... sometimes I wonder how I've gotten to be where I am. When I think of how different things would be if that cop who busted us smoking weed in our car had been a dick and actually arrested us. Or if my sophmore Biology teacher would have caught me selling acid to the kid sitting next to me. Sometimes I wonder - what the fuck was I thinking?

But I don't have any regrets about that stuff. I don't regret getting drunk for the first time when I was 12, or smoking weed for the first time when I was 13, or all the acid and mushrooms we did.

I do regret being so stupid and close-minded that I would hang out with skinheads. That I would listen to the music and not realize what it was really saying. To not have the guts or the sense of mind to just walk away from all that crap... it bothers me now. It bothered me as I looked at that tape.

I wonder if I ran into myself at 16, if I would recognize myself. And I wonder how soon after trying to talk sense into the 16 year old me, that I would just give up and kick my own ass...

I give myself about 3 minutes.

Nick