Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Sorry I'm late...

I'm a little late here, but this is a post from the archives... Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Shalom, whatever you celebrate, keep celebrating it.

Again, this is from last year...
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After we got home from eating some kick ass hibachi last night, we frosted some cookies. Well, the hot wife frosted some cookies, I just screwed around and played Christmas music. But I figured, since I didn't get Christmas cards out to any of you, that I would do a play instead. It's a silent play, kind of like Silent Night, but a play... and better.

I call it.... uh... You a Big Fine Cookie, Why Don't You Back That Ass Up. No...no... wait, um, Blue Balls. Nah, that's stupid... Ah, screw it, on with the play...














































I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you have a safe and wonderful Holidays. May your balls be red and sparkly, not blue...

peace nick

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Friday, December 22, 2006

The return of Reverend Bible Thumper

Everyone seems to have the religious posts dusted off and posted today, so I think I will follow suit. I like to discuss religion, because while I am fascinated with the historical aspects of religious texts, and things like the Holy Grail, the Arc of the Covenant, the Vatican, the Knights Templar... I don't believe in a God. I don't believe in a heaven or hell. It's hard for some people to grasp that. I'm sure many are even offended by it, but as you all know, I've rarely avoided the chance to offend.

I was not raised with any religious beliefs whatsoever. We occasionally went to church before I was about five years old, you know, on the typical church holidays like Christmas, Easter... yadda yadda yadda. But I never went to church camp or Sunday school or anything like that. My family never prayed. Heathens were we.

But I think I really came to my true beliefs about God when I was a sophmore in high school. In a World History class we were discussing wars and all the religious reasons that wars occur. And then my teacher uttered something that made so much sense, and it has become the whole basis for my non-belief. He said:

"More people have died in the name of God, than for any other reason."

To this day, it can't possibly make any more sense. And maybe it's not even entirely true, as it's hard to associate religion with some major incidents in this world. For example, when Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge communists slaughtered millions in Cambodia, that wasn't because of religion. The World Wars were not exactly about religion, although indirectly there were some ties.

But let's imagine we woke up tomorrow and there was no religion. No Gods. What would the Middle East look like? Iraq? Iran? Lebanon? What about Africa? Or Afghanistan? What about Northern Ireland?

My point is, if you look at a lot of the major conflicts in the world today, or in centuries past, there is a religious aspect to them. Mostly one belief in God fighting another belief in God to show that their belief in God is the right belief in God. If there is no God or religion, do some of these conflicts not happen?

Would you abandon God if it meant conflicts based on religious beliefs would disappear?

Nick

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Yay BK

Ben Kwellers song Penny on the Train Track makes Rolling Stone's top 100, at #65. Awesome! I think that just reaffirms my good taste in music, and also reaffirms why you should check back for more good picks from me...

You can read what I thought about Ben here. And then you can go to his website here and see for yourself why he rocks.

Nick

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

I am Father, hear me roar...

We need to do something different around here, so I am going to post more. The truth is, if I get any less interest in this blog, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and this time of year, dammit, that would not be a good thing. I have lots of time off coming up, and you don't want me drinking all day do you?

Anyways, I got this email the other day from a new online magazine type deal called The Father Life. How did I get this email you may ask? Well, in their "start-up research", I was identified as a father who would possibly be interested in this magazine. Shocked you are too? I've never been identified as anything of importance. Although I was once identified as the state contact for people wanting to give up their Rottweilers... that was tons of fun.

But to be identified, maybe because of this blog, as a father interested in things other, likely funnier and more interesting, fathers are interested in?

You know what I fucking hate? Blog awards. I hate awards basically in general. Mainly because I never win, but not only that, I don't even exist according to most stupid awards. Nope, never been nominated for a stupid blog award, even in the stupid, worthless blog category. But HA! I have been identified as a father in start-up research, and dammit that is something.

Did you guys know that I "applied" to become a writer for a some stupid community blog? No, because I don't think I told anyone, because I knew they wouldn't even email me back. And they didn't. They apparently weren't impressed with the posts on goofy art and unknown musicians. And perhaps you aren't either, but rather return out of the weird internet-induced obligation that haunts bloggers. We've discussed this before.

Oh well, I still have you guys (obligated or otherwise) and a pretty uninteresting blog with ever-decreasing traffic and besides from being identified in start-up research for an online magazine for and about Fathers, I got a promotion yesterday. I guess things are looking up...

Nick

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Patent of the week

Google has a cool new search for patents that I'm hopelessly addicted to. You can find patents for some of the strangest things. As I come across some, I will try to share if I feel that they would be entertaining to the masses.

This one I think most of us who have boys can appreciate. This one is a piss barrier that prevents one from being pissed on while changing a infant boy's diaper. From the abstract:

The people and things in the vicinity of an undiapered baby are protected from being urinated upon by a device which has an open resilient foam band, which is "C" or horseshoe shaped.

If you have a baby boy, you are getting pissed on. It's not a matter of if, but when, and then how often before you get smart and take the necessary precautions... like... changingthediaperreallysuperduperfast... or the change and pray method, for when you're too tired to prevent being pissed on.

I'm not sure how the piss preventer would work really. But it's nice to think that someone who was sick of getting pissed on had the cognitive capacity to come up a solution. Most of us probably just hold the hand out and accept the pissing as a normal part of being a parent to a boy. Not this person though. Not this person. No longer will they be pissed on ladies and gentlemen... no longer.

You go anti-pisser person... it's your birthday... go on...

Nick

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

How you doin'?

dawn asked how the hot wife is handling motherhood. For whatever reason, the hot wife has not blogged since the Braeden was born. I don't blame her. She's been very busy. Blogging regularly is a tough thing to do, especially this time of year. Besides no one having time to write, it appears few have time to read and/or comment. So I guess it is up to me to update everyone on how she is doing. Like I mentioned, the hot wife is very busy. Between work, Braeden and regularly, uh... "spending time" with me, there hasn't been much time for anything else. But I have never seen her happier. She absolutely loves being a mother, and her and Braeden are awesome together.

The hot wife is one of those special people who can juggle work, a family and all the things that go with running a house, and never ever complain. She may not be the best poker player (she can never remember what the hands are), but in everything else she does, I'm always amazed at her ability to get everything done and still be in a great mood.

Maybe it's just the time of year, and everyone is in a pretty good mood anyways. I know I am. I don't know what it is about this year, but I feel more festive than usual. I feel happy, healthy, and like I accomplished something this year. Obviously having a baby is an accomplishment, at least I think it is. But as far as a family goes, things couldn't be better at the hot wife and hot husband household. And hey, we might even get our Festivus cards out on time this year, which would be a first...

Oh, and I almost forgot, I applied and got accepted to the University of Wisconsin at Stout, so I'm pretty excited about that. 10 years, 3 different colleges, 1 degree... college is the life, let me tell ya... And, they let me play in the college poker tournaments online, which is kind of nice. Although I've yet to win anything...

Nick

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Art of the week...


According to designboom, Xiong Wen Yun's rainbow project was created between 1998 and 2001 and uses simple color to highlight a culture where "art and color remain alien concepts." On a route between Bejing and the Tibetan plateau, Yun captures around 20 scenes, never seen before, probably never seen again. Pretty remarkable photographs, even for the non-art savvy.

Credit Galleria dell'Arco and designboom

Nick

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Friday, December 08, 2006

Hear me, know me...

I think one of the best things about blogging is when you can take what others have said and piggy back on it. Effectively, steal someone else's ideas and use them to create your own post, or ideas if you will. I love doing that. Sometimes that is the only inspiration I have to blog, what others write. I simply sit down, read a few blogs and poof! Ideas come forth, and I spew them all over the blog for you to read. I would love to do that today, but really, I'm tired. And uninspired for the most part. But, don't get me wrong, it's not your faults, you all have great posts which I could use to create some steamy, well written, infinitely wise commentary. And, as you're all aware, my posts are all but that typically.

So, since I'm lazy, and you're not... I want to give credit where credit really is due. Below are the posts I have enjoyed reading, and would love to take up... if I weren't so damn lazy...

Relaxed Alert has a good one on one of my favorite topics... Christmas. Or, non-Christmas... or... Just go read it, and join in the festivities that is discussing what people should not discuss with others... religion. I'm just kidding, I love discussing religion. Mainly because I have thoughts which most are offended by, and I love to offend.

Dawn comes up with some other good posts on... religion (and culture) and race. Unfortunately I'm forbidden from linking to her, so too bad for you. She does have one good line I like:

"She said that 'the western world does not understand these people [Pakistanis/Muslims], this religion, and the culture and that if we don't understand it, it will eventually kill us!'"

Oh wouldn't you like to be in on that conversation?! It's good stuff. Trust me.

Lindsay has a good post on what animals think about the Holidays and the preparations involved in all the brewha that goes along with them. Remember kiddies, animals do not think like humans. Silly pets...

Ah, where would we be without a good post on corporate America from Lawryde... I will say this, ain't no way in hell I'm getting a six percent raise this year... I only have the pricks at the Federal Reserve to thank for that. Yeah, let's make interest rates a little fuckin' higher and see if we can't knock down the housing market a tad bit more! I don't really believe that, but it was fun to say... Guys, corporate America is a soul sucking son of a horror. Stay away, and you will live a much happier life...

And finally, I don't typically link to Dooce (because everyone else and their momma already does), but she has a good post up documenting tons of hate mail from the animal rights whackos. I miss both hate mail and animals rights whackos. I use to get a lot more hate mail when this blog was more political, but I've taken a noticeably more neutral stance as of late. I just don't have the energy to argue my political points anymore. Read - the liberals have sucked the life from me and I can no longer fight back... hahaha.... HAHAHAHAHA... Doesn't the word liberal just have such a negative connotation? Good. It should... wussys.

That's really it. Have fun reading everyone else's blog and we'll see you back here next week. Oh, and wish me luck for the poker tournament this weekend to benefit Juvenile Diabetes. It's a shitty thing, and I'm glad to help kick it's ass. Eh, who am I kidding... I just want to play some poker...

Nick

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Monday, December 04, 2006

Braeden, one month

Lindsay asked for pics, so here we go...




And this one is a bit older, but by far my favorite :)



Nick

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Art of the week

Since having a child, I can appreciate this. It doesn't show it well in the picture, but the seat can move up and down to whatever height is comfortable or desired. And for young bucks like mine, folds down into a bed nicely, which no stroller I have seen does.

For some strange reason Braeden prefers sleeping in the slightly inclined position. For the first week or so he almost exclusively slept in his car seat. Perhaps we've ruined him... Oh well, he has a recliner in his room, if he doesn't like his flat bed, it's all his...

This stroller still doesn't beat the Jeep stroller with speakers that you can plug your MP3 player into, but it's still a pretty cool idea.

Plus their website gets a big fat F- for not including PRICES!!! I can't begin to explain how much I hate websites for cool products that refuse to put prices up. It tells me one thing... it's prohibitively expensive, and I don't like to be told that.

Hat tip designverb and thecoolhunter.

Nick

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