Happy Fat Tuesday!

- Happy Fat Tuesday. Eat 'til it hurts.

- Speaking of which, I was hoping to lose at least five pounds in time for the race this weekend. That's not happening. I'm like ten pounds over what I'd ever want my maximum weight to be, but not by my fault. For the past two days, I have not had any soda, or cappuccino, I've only drank water and I've run two and a half miles in 30 minutes. And I've gained weight. Kiss my ass.

- The Bachelor picking Sara from Nashville last night was bitter sweet. On one hand, I don't see it lasting or working. He wants to move, she doesn't. That only works for so long. On the other hand, was Moana not the most psycho, fake, emotional twit you have ever seen? "I've never (whimper, whimper) looked into (whimper, whimper) someone else's eyes (wha wha wha) and seen the exact counterpoint (whimper, whimper) of my soul (wha wha) looking back at me" Who says that shit?

The f-ing worst was when she met his parents, and his dad asked her what she liked about his son. She just sat there. And sat there. And sat there. And the Bachelor just sat there. And everyone just sat there. What the hell was she doing, trying to teleport the fuck out of there? It's not that tough of a question, even if you are going to make shit up. Hell, I could have made some shit up about what I like about the Bachelor. He's got a great body, he makes me laugh, he's adventurous, he has a great job. I came up with four things, and I don't even know the dude. She's talking about marriage, and she can't come up with one f-ing thing. What a dumb bitch.

How did I get off on this Bachelor tangent?

- I've finally decided on a tattoo to get. This isn't my first choice, but my first choice will take a personal design, and a lot of tattoo work I'm thinking. So, I'm going to get one of these two in the meantime:


SPQR essentially stands for the Senate and the Roman People (or soldiers, depending on how you translate it). In the movie Gladiator, Maximus (Russell Crowe) had it on his arm as a tattoo, and they said it was the mark of the legion, but from my research, there isn't any proof soldiers actually did that. I think it makes more sense that they would not have, since the army served the Emperor, and not the Senate.

It’s not the most original tattoo in the world, but I like it. I'm a history nut, especially when it comes to the Romans.

That's all for today kiddies. Hope your Fat Tuesday is as fat as mine.

peace nick

Who do I look like, Dr. Phil?

For some reason I have been sucked into the Google searches lately. I would say almost half of my visits over the last couple of days have been from their searches. And I know what you people are searching... Some of you need a lot of help.

Today, someone searched - what to do if you catch an adolescent masturbating

I almost feel obligated to address this. Someone out there needs my help. But I really wanted to write about the 5k race we're entering this weekend. My first one. Where I fully expect to bring up the ass end of the race with my lofty goal of finishing in 35-40 minutes… Hey, I said it's my first one, cut me some slack.

Oh, alright. The masturbating thing... So you walk in and find your little one playing with his dinger... Oh my God, what do you do? And I'm assuming this is a boy, because only a mom would wonder about this. If she found her girl masturbating, I would hope she would be able to handle it better.

First of all, don't panic, it's going to be ok. He won't grow hair on his palms, and no, God won't kill any kittens. Those are just myths. And he is not a sexual deviant, he won't necessarily be getting girls pregnant at 11...

Now that we have all that settled, don't you f-ing knock first you bitch? Seriously. Unless you think there is some illegal bomb making or meth production going on in there, give the poor lad some privacy. Trust me, nothing in the world is more detrimental to the mental health of a child than their mom walking in on them polishing up the jewels.

But, ok, you did. You walked in on him… God help him... The way to make that better is not to search what you did on the internet. Aside from probably catching the Feds attention, you aren't going to find any good help for this on the internet. Luckily you found me... luckily. I can help you.

Look, the reason your kid was beating his meat is because it feels good. That's it. It's natural. One day you're just waking up, you try to roll over and it's sticking in the bed like a fricken broomstick. You grab it to figure out what the hell the deal is, and realize... hey, this feels kinda good. Eight seconds later you're trying to figure out how to cover up all those wet spots...

Later on in life, he will discover these feelings come from looking at girls (or boys) and at that point, you may want to start keeping an eye on how much he watches those early morning ESPN work out shows. But really lady, it's a perfectly normal, healthy activity that most of sane people engage in. Hell, I've done it twice already today. I'll probably end up with about five or six under my belt before the day is done (no pun intended). It's nothing bad.

So, ease up on the lad, and for God's sakes, knock from now on. It's hard enough worrying about if your mom is going to bust in on you when you are rolling up a joint. The last thing you want to worry about is your mom busting in when you're petting the lizard...

What should you do about it? Nothing. Accept it. Fuggedaboutit... When you come up with a real problem, like my kid is addicted to crack and is robbing old ladies at the mall for drug money, come back, we'll have a real chat.

peace nick

Even my poop is funny.

Don't you hate it when you go to the bathroom, and you have nothing to read, so you're just kind of sitting there day dreaming...

And the next thing you know you are thinking about this funny movie you saw not too long ago...

Like that part in the 40 Year Old Virgin, where the dude gets his chest waxed, and he stands up, and one of the guys says, "Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern"...

And then you start laughing, but there is someone next to you, and you don't want to be just laughing in the can, so you close your mouth, try to hold it in, and now you're just laughing out of your nose, which really makes weird sounds, so you have to pretend like you are blowing your nose...

And then you have to wait until everyone leaves, so no one knows who the crazy, nose-blowing, laughing guy was in the stall next to them...

Yeah, I hate that too...

"Andy Stitzer: [yells] Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!"

peace nick

The Big Easy is for hustlers

One of the assignments for my Sociology class is to write about a time when you experienced culture shock. Uh, I'm from Wisconsin dumbass, everything is culture shock.

You wanna know what was a "culture shock"? New Orleans. Pre-Katrina New Orleans.

I planned a stop in New Orleans to break up a drive we made from Dallas Texas to Valdosta Georgia a couple of years ago. I thought it would be fun to see. We got a great deal on a sweet hotel room with a jacuzzi whirlpool in it, right on St. Charles Ave. where the trolley is (or was). The hotel had this restaurant in it with the best damn cheesecake to ever grace the planet. That part of it was cool.

The rest of New Orleans? Hell.

The first thing we learned about New Orleans was not to go anywhere cool. Because the homeless folks and thugs hang out there. Waiting to prey on tourists apparently. Great. We're from Wisconsin, 'member? Everything about us says tourist. The pale white skin, the yankee accents, the f-ing map we're staring at, trying to figure out where the tourist hot spots are... We're dead.

The second thing you learn about New Orleans is it is holy shit hot. And holy shit humid. It was 175 degrees, with 197% humidity. Actually, I think they call it holyshitidity down there. When you step outside, your underwear just crawls up your ass and disintegrates immediately. We were quite unprepared for this. That and the urine smell that accompanies these inhumane weather conditions and the mass binge drinking The Big Easy is so famous for.

The third thing you learn about New Orleans is not to do drugs in New Orleans. We don't do drugs anymore, obviously. But I won't say we've never done drugs. In New Orleans. Trust me, this is a bad idea. I got a little from a friend before we left on this trip, and we thought it would be fun to smoke it in the hotel room before going down to get something to eat in the hotel restaurant.

We do that, go down to the restaurant, and grab a seat by the front window. We're eating some munchies, taking in the sights... and up pulls a K9 cop. He gets out, and we watch him walk into the hotel. Right about now we're having a heart attack sandwich... thinking they're busting into our room right about now... and in 10 minutes we're going to be in a New Orleans jail. If you can't even be safe on the streets of New Orleans, I'm thinking the last place you want to be in one of their jails...

Do we go back to the room? Do we just leave? What about all of our stuff? You know, the usual marijuana induced anxiety...

Five minutes or so goes by. Sitting. Freaking out.

He walks back out. He was just getting some food from the restaurant.

Finally, we learned, in New Orleans, do not. Ever. Let anyone squirt shit on your shoes. Long, very embarassing story, but trust me on this one. You gots yo shoes on yo feet. Remember that. Take no bets on this one.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't get on the trolley past 10pm. Yeah, we didn't find this one out until about 10:30ish. This was our fricken way back to the hotel, and this bartender tells us this. Thanks bud. He did tell us not to let anyone squirt shit on your shoes though. Ok... and where were you when you that dude was SQUIRTING SHIT on my f-ing shoe jackass?

I hate New Orleans. Or hated, it's probably not that bad without all the people. Although I'm sure it still stinks... But anyways, that was my "culture shock" experience... Don't go there. Come to Wisconsin. We'll make you feel welcome, and you can drink and smoke, and not have to worry about dying...

peace nick

I forgot what I was supposed to name this post...

- Am I the only one who gets a little freaked out with porn music? We've watched our fair share of porn in this whole "we're trying to have a baby" phase we've been in. For heaven sakes... don't even lay a music track if it's going to be some whacked out, spacey, creepy music or really bad Elvis covers. I'd rather listen to the people getting it on. At least when you're making fun of people having sex, you're still thinking about sex, and the whole point of watching the porn isn't lost.

- They say that anytime there is a major snowstorm, nine months later there is a baby boom. I'd kind of like to be a part of that statistic. I miss masturbating. A lot. I miss masturbating a lot... a lot.

- We didn't have sex the day of the actual snow storm last week. Because it turns out that after 11 hours of drinking, and kissing other guys, sex isn't a real high priority. But, we did have a lot this weekend. Yeah, we're sluts. You're jealous. I'm just kidding. We're not sluts. We're trying to have a baby.

- Tonight is the Bachelor "girls tell all night". Lord, why do I bother with this show? But could you imagine if this happened in real life? For one night, all your past girlfriends and boyfriends sat down to "tell all"? I can't. I haven't been with anyone in the past nine plus years, other than the hot wife. Your guys are sluts.

- Slut.

- Calling a girl a slut is a major turn on when your having sex for them. Try it tonight, and report back tomorrow.

- Is anyone getting annoyed that I always write posts with -s in them? I am. It bugs me when I can't form coherent paragraphs... but, sometimes you just have to let loose and just write whatever comes to mind. Someday I will write in normal english.

- That's hot. Slut.

- Slut Slut Slut.

- I hope Sara from Canada kicks the Bachelor's ass tonight. That would rock. AHHH Shut up about the f-ing Bachelor already!

- I have school work to do. Sociology. What a f-ing waste. I'm going to school for Engineering, not to learn about other people. People in this world are crazy. Engineers are smart. They can't possibly comprehend one another. I don't even want to be an Engineer... I definately don't want to be a Sociologist, or whatever they call people who know a lot about other people.

- Go get me another beer slut.

- I'm off to read.

peace nick

This blog has all the news you need...

Is it just me, or is it extremely painful to read the national/world news these days? Some of the stories they come up with are so non-newsworthy it's sickening. How about some examples... (I only read the Drudge Report, so these are coming straight off there)

The "cartoon" riots. C'mon... how is this news? The people who are rioting and protesting about this riot and protest about everything. Cartoons today, the blue sky tomorrow. Non-news.

Dick Cheney. Yes, Dick Cheney shot someone. Dick Cheney should shoot a lot of people. Dick Cheney's only job should be to walk around with a gun and shoot people who make fun of the President. WHO THE FUCK CARES IF DICK CHENEY SHOT SOMEONE? Now, if Dick Cheney would just shoot Hillary Clinton... THAT would be some good news... Who likes that cold bitch anyways?

The Olympics. I mean, I don't mind news about the actual games, like, who won what... But every year it's the same crap. Doping and controversies amongst countries... "ohhh, the American skater guy wore a Russian jacket..." BORING. Let me know when someone is impaled with a ski pole or something... There should be one Winter Olympic sport. Hockey.

Willy Nelson. Willy Nelson has more goddamn albums than you could ever dream of. Of course he's writing songs about gay cowboys... there's nothing else to write about! Ugh... Leave the poor old man alone...

Here's a good one... PETA recently pelted Paris Hilton and some loser designer with flour at an event that featured models wearing fur. I don't get it. Why flour? I don't know which one I hate worse, PETA or Paris Hilton. Why anyone would waste their time writing a story about either of them is beyond me. Wait... I'm wasting my time writing about them... Nevermind.

Allah. A movie about gay muslims. Wow... this is a brilliant f-ing idea... If you don't mind a car bomb outside your house. The movie's a bad idea. Printing a news story drawing attention to it is even stupider. My recommendation... stay at least a mile away from wherever this movie is playing. Gay muslims... give me a break... I mean, if you're a gay muslim, fine. Why do we need a movie about it? You want to make some money off muslims and tell the story of muslims? How about a movie about muslims that do some good things?

That was fun. You know what? Just forget the main stream news. Just come here everyday, and I will give you all the news you can f-ing handle. Promise.

peace nick

I'm too fat for Valentines Day

One year for Valentines Day, I did this for the hot wife...




You want to know what I did last year?

...........

Or this year?

...........

Nothing. I got nothing.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that we've lost the romance, or we don't do anything for each other anymore. We just don't do it on Valentines Day. We did on our "going out" anniversary, which was in January (9 years...). I had the whole house lit up in candles when she came home from work, and there were flowers, and presents, and I wrote her a poem...

Did I ever tell you guys that the hot wife and I never actually went out? I never asked her out. But, before you all think I'm really an asshole, I never asked the hot wife out, so she could never break up with me.

Now that is romance... you know you are all weak in the knees...

It's ok, brace yourself, catch your breath. We'll wait...

You ok? Good.

Anyways, I really don't care for Valentines Day. Mainly for the usual reasons that most people don't like Valentines Day, but really because I haven't been able to come up with anything as creative as the candy heart heart.

What the hell tops a candy heart heart? Seriously, I'm asking you guys. Hook a brother up with some good ideas...

Ah well. We got a steak dinner, and some wine for tonight. And then there is always a whole bunch of sex, so it should be a pretty romantic evening despite my lack of Valentines Day originality...

By the way... if you steal my idea, don't leave the candy heart heart laying around the house for an extended period of time. It will attract bugs.

Happy Valentines Day!

peace nick

BIG BOY!

- I wanted to start off the week with some music stuff. I just discovered that Mason Jennings moved the online songs to his label website - http://www.architectrecords.com/ I know how lazy you people are, and even if I post an .mp3, you won't take three seconds to download it. So now, you can go to this website, and just click on the song and it will play streaming. It doesn't get any easier than that.

- In other music news, I was just looking at Garrison Starr's website - http://www.garrisonstarr.com/starr.html - for shows, and she has a whole bunch of them all over the country. Unfortunately the March 12th Madison, WI show is sold out already, but that doesn't mean that you can't check one out. They're cheap, like $10, and she is a fantastic musician. You can listen to a few songs from her new album on her website, just click the numbers 1-4 on the bottom right of the site. I like #2 the best so far. I have a couple others, if you're interested, just shoot me an email.

- Alright, that's it for music. Um... over the weekend we did some babysitting. For the most part it was two boys, let's say 11 and 14 years old. I feel bad for even thinking of what I'm about to write, but I'm not really totally serious, just kind of... I can't have a boy. We must have a girl.

Now, I realize that 10-15 are tough ages, for girls and boys. Essentially, you're trying to be as cool as you can be. But I think this is different for boy than it is for girls. Girls want to be cool together. They hang out in groups, do each other's hair, shop together, whatever else... Until it comes to hanging out with boys, and then they're the cool one, and all the other girls are fat sluts. Up until that point though, they seem to stick together.

Boys are not like this. For boys, it's every boy for themselves. Whether it's video games, or sports, or just hanging out. You're better than everyone else, you know everything there is to know, you have the coolest shoes, the coolest skateboard, you're the best at all video games... This is the type of attitude that, now that I'm older, drives me f-ing nuts. I don't know how you parents deal with adolescent boys... you have my sympathy.

- I may have my own sympathy soon. For those who have been tracking on your calendars, it's have-a-lot-a-sex time of the month at our house. I've been given the order to cease and desist masturbation, and dedicate all resources to conception. Don't laugh, it's not funny, it's hard. No, not hard in that way, but... oh nevermind...

- I mean, this has been fun and all, but don't you think it's gone on long enough? We're already looking at a November baby if it takes this time around. That's not good. I'm starting to have nightmares about being stuck in a snow storm with the hot pregnant wife, and I've gotta like, deliver this baby myself... But that would be my luck. This baby is going to be trouble right from child birth, I just know it...

- I love that commercial where that guy is sitting on the train, on the phone with his credit card company or whatever, and he's going thru the voice menus...

"please say your password"

"...big boy"

"please repeat password"

"BIG BOY!"

peace nick

The First Annual i think washing your hands is stupid... Awards!

The Grammys. What a waste of time. Like any stupid award ceremony, the good get praised, and the crappy get jealous. I guess I just have a jaded view of award ceremonies because I never win shit, as you may remember...

Now, to be clear, I'm not one of those people who think everyone has to win all the time, that there can be no losers. I just think you should be nice to the losers, because if they don't play next time, well... never mind... I'm not sure where I was going with that.

On top of me personally never winning anything, my blog never wins shit either. I've never been nominated for one of those stupid best blog contests and no one has ever given me one those goofy "your blog rocks" buttons to put on my site. I bust my ass here all the time, and this is the thanks? Nothing?

Well, to prove that I'm much nicer than the average schmuck, I'm going to create my own sort of blog Grammys, if you will. An award ceremony. The First Annual i think washing your hands is stupid... Award Ceremony. You won't get anything from me, because... well, I don't have anything to give... But you will get the satisfaction of knowing that you were appreciated for something. And if you don't get appreciated, well, either I don't know you exist... or, you've never done shit for me, so, to hell with ya...

The first award is the Creativity Award. This is the most important feature for a blog to me. It keeps me coming back, wondering what will be written that day. I don't know, it could be bitching about work, or a weekend story, or memories from childhood... It is seldom the same over and over. And the Creativity Award goes to - View Lulu! Congrats.

Next up, the Funny Award. This next award recipient I just started reading not too long ago. He is very funny, and a very good writer. The Funny Award goes to - StringMan. Congratulations.

Now, a double award. The Best Blogging Couple. Because, let's face it, while I would love the hot wife having a blog, and encourage it, I don't know if I could handle someone blogging about the same things that I blog about. I mean, how the hell would I make shit up to make my post better? Anyways, because it's easier said than done I believe, the Best Blogging Couple Award goes to Mama? MAMA COME HERE! and A Dad's tough day! Good job guys.

Next up, the Hip Award. This goes to the blogger I think is the hippest, and I would probably enjoy hanging with if we ever got the chance. Lingo Slinger... c'mon down... Congrats. You're hip.

The next award recipient is a fellow Wisconsinite. And the award is a combination award. The Smart/Funny award goes to Law & Alcoholism. If I ever got into deep shit, it would be nice to have him as my lawyer... he knows his stuff, and we could have a couple of drinks after we mop the floor with the prosecution... Keep up the good work.

And now, for a different type of award. It's not that her blog isn't worthy of it's own award, because it is, but this person is being recognized for something that is important to me. Loyalty and support. For being here the longest, never judging me, and leaving comments just about everywhere, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... The Loyalty and Support Award goes to Dawn from Chai and Apple Pie. Thanks Dawn.

The next award is for the Most Offensive Blogger, which I happen to like. Besides the nasty pictures occasionally posted, there is some pretty funny stuff here. And the post titles are to die for. This year's Most Offensive Blogger Award goes to Carrie from Blogfart. I mean, even the blog name is offensive... I love it. Congrats Carrie.

This next one is a new award. Wait... they're all new awards... Anywho, this award is the Most Pornographic in a Good Way Blog. For her participation in Half Nude Thursdays... the award for Most Pornographic in a Good Way goes to An Extraordinary Ordinary Life. Good job, keep those nudie pics coming...

The next award is for Best Blog with the Most Obnoxious Design. For being pink. I hate pink. Congrats Too Cute for DC. Good writing, yucky design.

The Best Political Blog goes to Boots and Sabers. They keep me up to date on my politics. Thanks, congrats.

And now, not awards, but a sincere thanks to those who link to us: Beyond Wonderland; A Passage to Egypt; O.Kay; A Hangover You Don't Deserve; Insanity Reigns Supreme; Amy's Musings

Thanks guys, you make the world go around.

peace nick

The bachelor is gay... and a flippin' idiot.

peace nick

Cars and phones and diamond rings... bling bling...

I'll try to pretend like the weekend wasn't all that bad. Aside from missing the Mason Jennings show on Friday, giving up my beloved pool table on Saturday and then losing $40 and just about every f-ing hand of poker on Saturday night... it wasn't really that bad.

I miss the pool table already. I never used it, but still, it's one of those things that despite never using, you want to keep because of sentimental value. It has sentimental value. I won't say how or why, but you can use your imagination... No, wait, I don't want you thinking about the hot wife and I like that. Gross...

Then there was the Superbowl party, which we hosted this year. I gotta tell ya... the hot wife knows how to entertain. You want to be at a party that the hot wife is involved in hosting. Trust me on this one. She worked up some chili, beer bread, regular... bread... stuff (I'm drawing a blank here). Anyways, she had all the servings flowing so I could sit on my ass with friends and watch the pathetic thing. And it was pathetic. The only good commercial was the one where that dude offers the bear a Bud Light after his friend leaves him to fend for himself, only to come back and steal the beer and take off running. You know which one I'm talking about? Or did you tape the game and fast forward thru the commercials?

I did tape the second half so we could fast forward thru the commercials, because it was obvious they were going to suck, which, I gotta admit, became a little uncomfortable. You know, the whole fast forwarding thing... My friends looked on while I wizzed thru commercials like I had invented the damn t.v. itself. They had never seen such a thing. Some of them don't even have cable.

It was uncomfortable because I don't want to be the rich guy who has everything dammit. I feel stuck up, even though I don't think I act stuck up, and I hope my friends don't think I'm stuck up. But there I am, wondering if everyone thinks I'm stuck up because I can fast forward thru commercials, and tape my favorite shows, and pause t.v. so I can go to the bathroom.

I was always the kid who had more than his friends. We weren't rich, by any means, but we had stuff. I was the first kid to get those Reebok Pump shoes. And Nintendo. I loved it. I got all sorts of attention. I was cool. That's not the type of attention you want when you are older, unless you are a greedy, possession-loving jackass.

Maybe I do have too much stuff... Have I forgotten my roots? Where I came from? The schools that I went to, the hood I grew up in? Maybe I should convert to buddhism and renounce my possessions. Yeah, that's it... I renounce my possessions! I will live but a simple life! I will no longer have... uh... stuff!

Wait... I gotta think about that one... Can I still keep the porn?

peace nick

Oh, to hell with people liking me...

- Is it just me, or do you guys finding yourselves wanting to post just so it will say something cool next to your blog name on other blogs who use blogrolling? How does it know I updated? Someone should put - This guy is f-ing hot - next to my blog name when I update. That's hot.

- I like saying - that's hot. I kinda feel like Paris Hilton when I do it.

- Tomorrow is the real Mason Jennings concert... C'mon, show some excitement... make some noise! It's going to rock.

- We've been drinking a lot of wine lately, so I'm open to suggestions on types. So far we like Rieslings, and I liked the bottle of Pinot Gris we knocked back the other night. I could totally see giving up beer and moving to wine. You get a buzz without feeling so damn fat. Whatchya'll like?

- Do you... like like it? Remember when you used to say that as kids? "do you like like her?" Like there are varying degrees of like. Like.... Like is kind of a funny word when you think about it. Not as funny as funner though...

- That's hot. It's hot hot. I like hot hot, but I don't like like hot hot.

- This is probably my most obnoxious post... since yesterday when I made fun of people who are ninnies when it comes to their parents. I bet I didn't make any new friends with that post... I love you guys though. All of you. Wanna make out?

- I wonder what percentage of guys fantasize about their gfs or wives making out with other women. My guess is 85%. I think 15% of men would be jealous. Nah, maybe 10%. Ninnies...

- I wonder what percentage of gfs and wives do make out with other women... I don't have a good feel for this one, but feel free to send pictures if you have any...

- I wonder how many people gave up reading this post because they were grossly offended by my last two wonderings.

- That's hot.

peace nick

- I wonder why I keep signing my posts peace nick. Wouldn't just nick, or Nick, suffice? I don't even really want peace, or advocate peace. I hate peace. Unless it's peace and quiet. Oh well.

peace nick

I am a robot.

I gotta tell ya... this movie drives me crazy. There are other movies with similiar plots that drive me similiarly crazy. Why? This bitches parents are assholes to this poor guy the whole movie, and never once does she do anything about it. She never once says, "shut the hell up Dad, quit being such a jack off to my boyfriend!"

Maybe it's just me, but I'd disown my family in a heartbeat if they were even so much as snotty to the hot wife. Done. See ya. I hate you.

I just don't understand the strangle hold that some parents have over their kids, even into adulthood. I can see when you are living in their house, you have to obey by their rules... but they don't have to control everything you do. For heaven's sakes, grow a spine. My parents stopped telling me what to do when I was 13. I had a curfew, but that was it. They never told me I couldn't hang out with certain people, or I couldn't join a sport, or whatever...

The worst to me is when a couple is dating, and some of our friends are like this, they like each other, want to get married, but they can't live together.... Because their parents wouldn't approve... Because it's apparently all sinful and all that. I've been thru all the sins... There's nothing in there about not living with someone you aren't marrried to. I think it should a requirement. Maybe then not so many people would get divorced.

But either way, who the hell are the parents to tell their adult children what to do? F&$% your damn parents! Grow up.

Or when someone's parents dictate how the wedding is going to be. Huh? They're not the ones getting married, tell them to shut their damn mouths... if they don't like it, don't f-ing come. Saves money on food and beer... or whiskey old fashions if your parents are alcoholics.

We paid for our own wedding, so no one told us squat. We didn't have 800 people, we didn't have 43 people stand up, we didn't pay $93 a plate, and we didn't have to join Mommy and Daddy's church to do it. We stood up and said, dammit, we have our own lives. We roll the way we want to roll, and if you don't like, or get snotty about it, then to hell with ya...

I would have laughed if my parents would have tried to tell us how to have our wedding...

"What, you guys didn't get your invitation? Well, guess you're not coming then... Bye."

You know you want to be like us... Unless you are a parent, in which case, you're probably thanking the lord I was not your kid...

peace nick