Monday, January 31, 2005

Ansel Adams, do the crip walk

Observe, while some schmuck attempts to critique the master photographer...



The picture I am critiquing is a picture by Ansel Adams called Mono Lake. The picture is in black and white and was taken in 1948. Mono Lake is an ancient lake in California. At over 700,000 years old it is one of Northern America’s oldest lakes. It is also more than twice as salty as the ocean.

In the foreground of the picture is the edge of the lake and a few dead branches that stick out of the ground for a few feet. You can see some short vegetation on one side and some rocks going out just past the branches. After a few feet everything becomes hidden by the water and cloud reflections. This patch of land and the branches provide the main focal point and offer the greatest detail of the picture. The rest of the picture appears calm and never-ending.

The next shapes you recognize in the picture are the reflections of the clouds on the smooth lake surface. It almost flips the picture upside down and forces you to clarify in your mind just what you are looking at. When you look at the reflections of the clouds everything else in the picture seems to disappear. The clouds fade away into light reflective surfaces. In some areas they are interrupted by large black spots.

The black spots are the reflections of the first layer of mountains in the background. One large formation to the left seems low with rounded edges. Not many details are present. The black formation contrasts well with the reflective surface of the water in front of it. It helps break up the picture and separate the water from the sky. Without some sort of landmass the water and sky might meet in the middle and make it hard to have some type of perspective.

To the right of the mountains is a large channel with another, smaller land mass in the middle. It provides another focal point as a break between the water and the larger mountains in the far background.

The mountains in the background are more jagged but blurry. Their color is a much lighter color than the mountains in the foreground, which helps with the overall perspective of the picture.

By the time Ansel Adams took this picture, the government had begun diverting its source streams away from the lake, causing the salt levels to rise and the lake to begin dying. It’s hard to say if that is what the picture is depicting, but it certainly gives you that idea. From the dead branches in the foreground to the large black masses in the background, the picture seems like a vast wasteland. The combination of the dead branches and the reflection of the clouds on the water make it feel like you are looking at a vast desert. The absence of color in the picture also gives the impression of the lake dying. The black and different shades of gray give it a somber feel.

I like this photo because it is calm and peaceful with a good mixture of detail and focus. Looking at it gives the impression you are looking out from the edge of life. The trees in the front suggest you are not in the best place, but the mountains in the background offer hope that something more positive and colorful is on the other side.

That was horrible.... I apologize Mr. Adams... (yes, I know he is not living anymore)

peace nick

Friday, January 28, 2005

John Kerry is DEAD!

Doesn't it irritate anyone else that people are still crying about Bush winning the election? Gawd people, wasn't your whole deal the last 4 years all about moving on? MOVE THE &%#$ ON!

My neighbors are still sporting their Kerry/Edwards sign in their front window. I'd so like to chuck a fricken rock right thru it. Not because I don't think people should be able to put whatever the hell they feel like in their windows, but didn't you hear the news?

JOHN KERRY IS DEAD!

Yeah... it's just a robot doing his job now. See, he killed that obnoxious, rich whore of a wife of his, and then off'd himself. Poof, bitch be gone...

Ya know, they have now launched a federal investigation into vote FRAUD in this wonderful state. But do you see me sporting a Bush sign in my front yard, holding out hope they will get to the bottom of the massive voter registration frauds that went on on every fricken college campus and inner city in this pathetic state, and prove that Bush won our state too?

No, that would be obnoxious.

You know what, I don't even like Bush anymore. He turned this "mandate" of his into a massive political advance for the whacko religious and anti-abortion groups. And quite frankly he is doing a piss poor job of defending the main reason that *I* voted for him for - private Social Security accounts.

He couldn't be doing a worse job at getting people to understand why private Social Security accounts are a good idea. I can just see the opportunity slipping away... slip slip slip. And when it does, the blame will solely lie with Bush and his most ineffective staff. A high school Republican club could do a better job at explaining this issue to the public. Maybe they should pay them instead of paying radio hosts who preach to people WHO ALREADY AGREE WITH YOUR STUPID PLATFORM... YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!! Do you think any Democrats are swayed by a Conservative talk show host? Does anyone on that staff have an IQ over 50?

Houston, we have a problem, it's called YOU'RE PAYING TO GET YOUR MESSAGE OUT TO THE WRONG PEOPLE!!!!! Do you know who listens to Conservative talk shows? C'mon, this is easy..... CONSERVATIVES! I mean, if you are going to pay a talk show host to schill for your platform, go after the right damn audience... Maybe I should be a media consultant for the Republican party, because apparently they are too damn stupid to figure it out on their own.

But, whatever, he was still elected, he was inaugurated, he is the President. Get over it. And quit whining about how awful inauguration day was, and how you're going to move to another country and blah blah this, blah blah that...

Remember what I said - John Kerry is dead. And unfortunately for ya'll, he took the whole party with him. And if you think Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean are going to bring it back to life, you just haven't studied your history.

peace nick

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

R.I.P. Punk...

After spelling my name wrong in an email and forgetting where I live, my boss sat down at my desk the other day to jokingly learn a little more about me. So we talked, and I was telling how I used to be a punk, and even was once in a basement punk band. Wicked Pete was its name... ah, those were the days... drugs, sex and some of the worst damn music electricity would allow...

So that night I went home still thinking about the good ole days, and started digging around in some of my old punk tapes looking for some Wicked Pete recordings. We're talking deep in the archives here... deep...

It was like looking thru an old photo album. Its been so long since Ive listened to some of this stuff, probably since cds came out.

Then it hit me... will punk music be the forgotten era of music? What the hell am I going to do when tape players become completely obsolete? I dont have any of my records any more. I gave those away because I never owned a record player. If you dont have a record player and you dont have a tape player, you are pretty much out of luck when it comes to listening to good ole fashioned punk rock.

I guess punk really is dead. The music is basically gone forever. There is no one to carry the scene anymore. Gawd... kids these days wouldnt know punk if it bit their damn ear off. To them punk is NOFX and Green Day. Nothing against those types of bands, but they are not punk. Punk is Minor Threat, Circle Jerks, The Exploited... I could go on for hours. Not that you've ever heard of those bands, because all of you only listen to the stupid radio. YOU PUPPETS! Except for the church faithful who frequent this here blog, who Im sure rock out to some nice Christian Rock. At least its respectable because its not mainstream. Mainstream music blows.

Everything that is played on the radio, made after 1980 SUCKS! When are you people going to get that thru your... your.... ah, who cares. Listen to the stupid radio, support the rapist music industry fat pigs and be a mainstream robot. At least you fit in, right?

Good for you yuppy.

peace nick

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

How not to adopt a dog...

A little backround first... a woman submitted an application the other day to adopt a dog through our rescue. I sent her an email informing her that we didnt adopt dogs to her area, and gave her some information on some other dog rescues that would adopt to her. I was even polite about it... believe it or not...

What follows here is her quite eloquent response, and a perfect example of how NOT to be approved to adopt a dog thru a dog rescue. Enjoy:

For someone who wants to save rotties, your organization isn't doing a very good job. It's not my fault that you don't have the people needed to do home checks. This rott has a great opportunity to be placed with a loving family with lots of rott experience. I have tried to contact *name removed* to no avail and have checked all the other rescues as well. As I told you before, *dog's name removed* is for us and its sad that your too understaffed or lazy to place him here. Thanks and good day, The *name removed* Family

p.s. I will be contacting your supervisor about this matter as well.


This is the crap you get for volunteering your time to help the helpless...

Oh yeah? You gonna contact my supervisor??? Well.... I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, YOU @#$%*!!!!

peace nick

Monday, January 24, 2005

Monday Monday... na na... na nana....

so good to me... Man, I love that song.

Well, in keeping with a tradition that I havent started yet, I will attempt to reflect on the things Ive learned over the past weekend. Im winging it here, so I cannot guarantee this will turn out to be interesting. If you dont want to take the chance, you know the way out.

I think the overall lesson of the weekend was this... Do not take a vacation in Wisconsin, when the forecast is for 6-10 inches of snow. Unless you are driving a snowplow. The 15 minutes of excitement you get from snow tubing in a blizzard just isnt worth it my friends.

By the way (or btw for you internet geeks), snow tubing is not all its cracked up to be. If you have 5 year old kids and you dont want to fork over the $30 for a skiing lesson, then maybe. But for anyone over that age, you are better off mugging some schmuck, stealing his lift ticket and taking that one trip down the hill before the ski patrol kicks your ass and bans you from the ski hill forever. After that, you have experienced all you are going to experience with that.

But back to this blizzard. I also learned that our wonderful VW Jetta doesnt exactly handle that well in the snow. Notably, it doesnt go up hills that are snow covered. This can be a real problem if where you are trying to go... requires that you actually drive up that snow covered hill.

After getting stuck on one of those infamous snow covered hills, and standing helplessly by while the only human nearby drove away without even offering to help (despite having the time and nerve to explain that his son had a car just like our crapwagon), we were forced to walk uphill thru a couple of feet of snow, in hurricane force winds, to get to our residence for the night.

No... we didnt cross any f-ing rivers, BUT IT SUCKED JUST THE SAME!

If I ever see that moron who stopped to "chat" but just couldnt find it in his heart to assist a couple of stranded fools trying to push a crapwagon up a frozen and snow covered hill, I assure you he will receive the mark of Doc Marten... on his damn forehead....

I guess the only other thing of importance is, the vacation spot we went to is also frequented by... none other than... the Gotti boys. No kidding... they played dice at the bar not five feet from where we ate dinner. Ok, I dont really know for sure it was them, but it could have been. It probably wasnt them... Ok, it most likely wasnt them... but whats the difference? They were obnoxious, rich, snotty, loud, and dressed like millionaire crackheads from Hollywood... Once you've seen one, you've seen 'em all...

'Cause Im sure ya'll know at least one millionaire crackhead from Hollywood... dont lie....

peace nick

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Thanks Constantine... I think....

So last nights Literature & Art class was pretty interesting. Im always amazed at the ability of college professors to talk for hours and hours and manage to keep it fairly interesting. This woman can talk church until the cows come home, which is interesting for me, because Ive never learned much on the subject.

And Im not talking the spoon fed version either.

To hear a former nun talk about the church, and discuss openly the positives and negatives of the church's influence over the past 1000 years or so, is something I could sit and listen to for hours and hours and hours.

One of the most interesting stories we talked about was how the Roman Emperor Constantine had a vision going into battle of the Cross, and how that led to converting the Roman Empire from a Pagan religion to Christianity. And forgive me if my facts arent 100% there... Im just a student for crying out loud...

So not only does this appear to be the point at which people began dying in war in the name of God, but think about it... if this guy doesnt see this Cross going into battle, its quite possible the main religion in the world could be a type of Paganism.

Constantine has a hallucination, and the world is forever changed. For the better? For the worse? Who cares, its a cool story and reminds me of the movie Gladiator.

The first war scene in Gladiator is quite possibly the best scene in a movie ever created. Gladiator is quite possibly the best movie ever created. If its not in your top 5, you need to lay off the crack.

strength and honor
nick

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Just a bit better...

Well, Im only feeling slightly better about the volunteer group thing because I won on my lottery ticket this morning... again... I dont know what this string of lottery ticket luck is trying to tell me, other than keep playing. It sure doesnt seem to be telling me that everything else in life is going to go on the upswing.

So a couple of nasty emails and an attempted resignation, which was not accepted, I am still a part of the dog rescue. I dont know where someone gets the nerve to not accept a resignation from a volunteer group, but it seems to happen quite often.

I dont want to walk away from dog rescue because its important to me. I believe in the idea of it, and I enjoy being a part of a group that is comprised of people who are interested in the same thing... but I just dont see the point in being a part of a group that creates so much unnecessary stress that you want to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil....

I could easily start up my own dog rescue, collect a few applications, work with a few shelter dogs, and not have any of the stress of dealing with people who have unreasonably high expectations of their volunteers. And I could probably save just as many dogs as we do now.

But, I guess the soap opera will continue until either my term is up, or I have to check into the looney bin.

Praise Allah I have you guys to lean on... Together we will conquer the infidel dog rescues.

Ali ahkbar al shalam ey.

peace nick

Monday, January 17, 2005

Enough to make your damn head spin...

Have you ever tried to explain to someone, say a boss or friend or, say, a group you volunteer for, that you are just too busy to be doing everything you are doing at that particular time, and if the load doesnt ease up a bit you are going to go F-ING CRAZY AND KILL SOMEONE?

And then they spend the rest of the conversation saying, "well, maybe if you did this and this and this, everything else will just work out... maybe if you did the work you are doing faster, then you could get everything done..."

And in the back of your mind you are trying to remember where you put that damn knife sharpener...

You know what sucks about volunteer organizations? You are stuck with whomever volunteers for the most part. You cant just fire someone who you feel is incompetent. You also cannot force people to volunteer, thus you are usually stuck with a shortage of volunteers for all the whacked out ideas that the incompetent people who do volunteer come up with.

incompetent person: "gee, wouldnt it be great if we could come up with a cure for cancer by next month?"

me: "uh, yeah, sure... but the problem is we dont have enough volunteers to support that type of initiative..."

incompetent person: "well maybe if you worked a little faster, and did a little more, it would be possible."

me: "but Im already doing..."

incompetent person: "that sounds good, look foward to seeing that next month... as soon as I get back from vacation..."

Where did I put that damn knife sharpener?!?!!?!!!

Volunteer organizations would be great if you could weed out people who just cant seem to understand that everyone is a volunteer and maybe you dont always have the resources to save the fricken world. Instead they infest the good people in the organization like a disease, until the good people walk away with their hands over their ears...

"lalalalalalala.... Im not listening to you anymore.... save the damn world yourself.... I would much rather watch it suffer than work with you...."

happy f-ing Monday everyone...
nick

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Still very lucky...

Well the lottery streak has run dry. I had 5 numbers for last nights drawing and won nothing. I think I was better off with just one set of numbers.

But the luck continues in other ways. Today was the first, and second last, class of my Quality Assurance class. This class could have easily been a real pain in the ass, 4 Saturdays, 8-4... with a ton of dry reading and case studies.... and blah blah blah Instead, the class should be a breeze. The teacher is quite possibly a gift from above. We were out by 11:30 today, and dont have to return until March, to a 4 hour seminar on statistical garbage. A little reading here and there, and some take home tests, but I so lucked out with this teacher.

I wanted to kiss him before I left.

Thank you for being so friggin' COOL! This Saturday detention crap could have really SUCKED!

I love liberal arts colleges. Its almost like the teachers feel bad for you.

"Oh... you have to take THIS crap, huh?"

I knew the class would be a breeze when he asked us if we have our syllabus. And then told us to rip it up. You know you have a cream puff teacher when they chuck the syllabus on the first class.

So I guess I will have more time to devote to the awesome blog we got goin' here. I love the internet so much more on a Saturday morning than statistical process control... Yup, that about sums it up...

peace nick

Friday, January 14, 2005

Cant you see Im busy?

Yes, I won the lottery AGAIN today... 7 out of 8 baby!

and no, I dont have time to post anything else...

Dont you people have jobs???

peace nick

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Enough seriouslyness...

I wonder how many people read the title without even noticing how silly it sounds. Well, I know how many people come to this blog... and I can count ya'll on one hand.

Anyways, I dont know if I want to mention this, because Im sure its a weird fluke... but of the 7 times I have played the state lottery this year, I have won 6 times!

Im freaking, because I never win anything. Even when I was in sports like hockey and baseball, never won much of anything. I always was on crappy teams... probably because I was crappy. Maybe average... ok, who am I kidding...

I once won $100 on a lottery scratch off, and then the next week won like $60. But nothing that has ever led me to believe I would be consistently lucky.

6 out of 7 times playing a lottery, not picking the numbers, and winning... maybe my luck is changing this year...

Some other things of note:

I had my yearly review with my boss today and it actually went well. How many of you slackers can say that? Hey, this blog isnt about YOU! Its about ME!

I had my first Literature and Art class last night and it was let out early. The drive home sucked because this is Wisconsin afterall, and if there is ever crappy weather anywhere in the US, its here. Last night we had thunderstorms with heavy rain and lightning and fog...

Did you read that last sentence? You know its JANUARY, RIGHT?!?!?! And we had THUNDERSTORMS!!! Now this week its supposed to get down to about -10. Ok... thunderstorms to -10 in one week... that seems normal, right?

If you live in a F-ING SCIENCE EXPERIMENT!

The only thing we are missing is 1" diameter hail. Knock on wood.

So maybe my luck is changed, but this state's weather is still something out of an environmentalist whacko's movie. Something like, Wisconsin - f'ed up eh?

Oh yeah, got a funny spam email today. The subject was - Never miss a good chance to shut up. If links to this site werent in the 3 or 4 places Ive seen it, I might have considered changing the name of this blog to that. C'mon, thats hilarious!

You guys have no sense of humor I tell ya....

peace nick

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Social Security and other kinds of things...

First, thanks to Sarah for screwing our heads on straight with yesterday's topic. I knew they spoke a different language back in the day, but how believing ON something is correct is beyond me. Traditional or not, it doesnt make sense.

Anyways, moving on to today's topic. Social Security. Namely what becometh of it. I know that I try to stay away from politics on this blog because essentially if my reading audience is like the American public, there are, well... 2 of you who are in the red, and 2 in the blue. I dont want to alienate either group, but in this instance it simply must be done. I still love you blue people, but on this issue you are whacked. Its spreading to the red people as well, but I think mainly because they are afraid. And if you consider how poorly Republicans communicate their message, they should be.

The issue is whether to allow people to direct a portion of what they pay into Social Security into private investment accounts. The current Republican administration is pushing this idea. What is the Democrats plan, to counter?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I dont know what their plan is either. Because like almost everything else, they dont appear to have one. Their only plan is to take the exact opposite stance that Bush takes. On everything.

The only thing they can come up with is that, well, maybe its not really a problem. Well, that and Bush is trying to scare us...

It would be like if Bush came up with an initiative to cure cancer in 5 years. The Democrats would simply come out and say - well, maybe cancer isnt such a problem afterall. Or, why do we have to deal with cancer now? Or, Bush is just trying to scare the public... cancer isnt really that bad.

There was a quote in the San Francisco Chronicle by Rep. Sander Levin, D-Mich., that I think sums up the Democrats plan very well:

Levin described the program's impending insolvency as "a challenge, not a crisis." The program has 40 years before it runs into difficulty, he insisted. Only then, when its trust fund runs out, will changes be required, he argued.

Wow. I guess we should wait until the train comes to a screaching hault to address it? And then what? Raise taxes to 20-25% of your paycheck?

It seems to me that a much better way to address the problem, now, would be to draw a cut off line, say 25 years out. Tell those people retiring in 25 years and beyond, much of Social Security is not going to be there so you best be planning for something else.

IMO, if you are 25 years out and you arent planning for something else other than Social Security, you have your head on crooked anyways. Certainly if you are in your 20s, and arent planning for retirement without Social Security, you're nuts.

If I could get my hands on 4% of what I pay into Social Security, that would be a windfall, when combined with everything else we are doing. And I dont even have to risk it by investing in the stock market, like the Democrats keep "scaring" us with. I already have money in the stock market with my 401k. There are numerous other options out there, like bonds, mutual funds, whatever.

It comes down to this: the Democrats just do not trust private individuals with their own money. Sorry, but its the truth. They want the government to care for everyone from cradle to grave. "Give us your money, we will decide what is best for you."

I dont agree with Bush all the time, but when he says, "hey, its your money, you be responsible for it," Im all for that. I know what is best for me, not some government slimeball who makes so much money anyways, they dont have to ever worry about whether the Social Security system will be there or not.

Like Rob Simmons, Republican Rep. from Connecticut, who so eloquently stated: "When does the program go belly up? 2042. I will be dead by then."

Not a day too soon Rob...

peace nick

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

No, not religion again... well, a little...

Im going to devote this post to a comment that someone left a couple days ago, despite my incredible urge to go political in favor of private Social Security accounts... again. Not only because I like to stir the religious pot when I can, but because I think I have some readers who are more educated in religion than I, and maybe they could help me understand some things. How do I know that? Because Ive seen my page linked to on some religion related sites, albeit with a caution rating. A caution rating? I dont even swear here... do I? I may have. Oh well... Anyways, the comment was:

Anonymous said...
Christ died for our sins - Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved

So delicately put Anonymous... The only question I will get into with this is... how did Jesus know what my (or anyone else's) sins were going to be? I have a feeling if he knew what would happen in the future, most notably in his own churches, he would have thought twice about signing up for that.

"What?! People who preach my word in the future are going to be the same ones who molest children?? And it will forever be swept under the rug?"

"And people will be paid off with millions of dollars to shut up and go away?!"

"Damn... the future is f-ed up"

You got that right Jesus.

Now... I can believe there was a man named Jesus Christ. Fine. And I can even believe he was killed the way that is generally accepted. Fine. But to say I should believe he died for our sins (which, some are pretty sick) strikes me as a little weird.

When the Lord Jesus Christ gets his own house in order, and is able to convince those who really do believe he died for our sins that touching little boys and girls is wrong, then leave me a message here and we can chat again.

But this time, do a grammar check, eh?

peace nick

Sunday, January 09, 2005

For those who have to...

get their lazy asses out of the nice warm house to fire up the snowblower, and clear the backyard of any accumulated snow, so your sweet little Rottweiler can go do her thing without freezing her poor little paws off...

We salute you.

My wussy Rottweiler brings all the thieves to the yard.
Damn right, she's better than yours....

peace nick

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Top 10 baby!

Guys... gather round... I just wanted to bring you all together to announce:

WE HAVE CRACKED THE TOP 10 ON GOOGLE.........FOR........

*insert drumroll here... badadadadadadadadadadadadada

NUDE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS!!!!

WHEW!!! Rockin'!!!!

Thank you, thank you vera much.

peace nick

Andy is home!

Andy in his new home...

http://junyermint.blogspot.com/2005/01/andy-is-home.html

Good boy Andy... good boy. Oh, he is the top dog.

peace nick

Gmail sucks dude..

Oh yeah, I have, um, like 7 Gmail invites to give away. In case you cant figure out how to get into the non-exclusive club over there at Yahoo!... ya know, maybe you can send me an email... and I can invite you to the secret that is google mail.....

ooooooohhhhhhh

aaahhhhhhhhhhh

< /geek >

Im kinda mean sometimes... but I cant help it. Im sick of this Gmail invite crap. Stop. Just stop!

My first New Years resolution is to not email anyone with a Gmail account. Wow... Ive never actually started a boycott before... it feels kinda good!

HELL NO, I WONT EMAIL... uh, GMAIL! er, something like that, eh?

Just, enough. No one thinks you're cool anymore or grand holder of the Gmail invites...

peace nick [at] Gmail [dot] com

De-lurking?

Ok, so today is de-lurking day. Go here:

http://papernapkin.typepad.com/papernapkin/

leave this chick a comment, and a buck goes to the tsunami victims. Then you can tell your friends you helped out or something.

Good job.

And hey, if you leave me a comment... well, I'll probably just ignore it in some vain attempt to make it appear that I dont check the site every 5 minutes for comments...... ah, no one comes back to check anyways.

Just know that I love all of you, k? Good.

Why arent you at that f-ing site leaving a COMMENT, YOU HEARLTESS BASTARD?!?! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!

peace nick

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Finally, some hate...

Its not hate mail, but a hate comment... I guess I thought my first time would have be a little worse than this:

Myrrander said...
you are an idiot. pretending things aren't there don't make them go away. for example, I've been pretending your blog doesn't exist, but it keeps on ticking...
12:20 PM

Thats ok that you feel that way Myrrander. I still love you.

In fact, I kinda wanna hump you...

peace nick

Monday, January 03, 2005

Terrorism and poop...

all in one post. I hope you are sitting down.

First, this story. I know you are probably too lazy to click the link and read it, so I will sum it up. Yahoo! News is reporting that Islamic terrorists in Iraq, the uh... Islamic Army (how original) are now threatening to strike the United States, in the United States.

First of all... when the hell did our own news media become the voice of islamic terrorism? And why? They will say, "we are just doing our jobs, we are robots, and have no ability to seperate real news from the nonsense babble on some terrorist website". No, morons, broadcasting the message of people whose only desire in life is to KILL us is not your job. If you pretend these whackos do not exist, they will go away. Promise.

Secondly... what the hell are they waiting for? I dont mean to sound twisted and all, but c'mon... Islamic terrorists have struck the US twice in about a dozen years. Thats not a real effective attack strategy if your goal is to bring down the infidel motherland.

Finally... I dont believe any of these groups have the resources to strike the US. If they did, they would have done it by now, and would keep doing it. But even if they did, or they do in the future, I think the next strike by Islamic terrorists will bring a backlash against people of Middle Eastern descent so swift and brutal, most will have no choice but to live in fear for their lives at all times. I dont like stereotypes, but this country is full of people who do, and Middle Eastern people dont exactly blend in real well.

For what its worth oh dear Islamic Army of Iraq... I think you would be doing the cause a great disservice by coming over here to blow crap up... Dont say I didnt warn you...

***

And now, the poop part of the post. This past weekend I was informed of something that I previously was not aware of. Regarding women. And pooping. In fact, I found it so unbelievable... that I just cant resist writing about it here...

It seems, as I was informed of by a reputable insider, that ya'll women are... how should I phrase this.... incapable of properly using the restroom (namely, pooping) within ear shot of other women...

I cant possibly imagine this to be true, but if it is... I have some news that will be greatly comforting to the female members of the reading audience...

WE ALL POOP! Seriously...

I poop. You, the reader, poop... all women, I assure you, poop. And most of us living in civilized parts of the world, poop in the bathroom.

So please, do us all a favor, and just poop.

Sometimes it will not smell all that great, and sometimes it makes little splashy sounds... dont worry, all natural occurences...

And if you come out of the stall, and there is another woman staring you down, unable to comprehend what you have just done in the bathroom... just say,

"was that a great poop or what?"

Guaranteed they will never, ever, question it again.

You're welcome ladies....

peace nick

Sunday, January 02, 2005

On the twelfth day of Christmas break...

12. Im running out of stuff to write about.

11. The foster dog finally went home.

10. I have a wonderful hang over.

9. Thanks for the sick foster dog. Also the date of the infamous ladies night at the bar.

8. More f-ing painting...

7. Painting.

6. Wow. -30 degree wind chills... Thanks...

5. Its just keeps F-ING SNOWING!!!

4. Hey, iPod Mini. Finally, something good...

3. How about some subzero temperatures?

2. Cool.... a foster dog who craps on the kitchen floor. Twice.

1. And a f-ing cold and a cough medicine buzz to die for.

Tomorrow, ready or not, we return to slavery. The twelve days of Christmas break have been interesting. The next year should be even more so.

peace nick

Saturday, January 01, 2005

On the eleventh day of Christmas break...

Andy is in his new home now, and all is quiet.

Oh, and we're buried under about 3 inches of ice. So to recap the last week's weather, it went from -30 degree wind chills, to snow, to melting snow, to freezing rain and ice. What next, a hurricane?

Im glad they are not playing that Winter Wonderland song anymore....

peace nick