I swore to be faithful a long time ago...

"Do you Barack Hussein Obama faithfully swear... uh, swear to be faithful, and uphold, the hope of Presidents and... oh fuck it, I need another beer."

nick

Hanging with my boyz...

"Dudes! Where'd Jimmy go?!"

nick

Balls on parade...

As you may or may not be aware, I've been celebrating my Spanish heritage since 1963 by running with the bulls in Spain. Here I am enjoying a nice cold beer during this year's running.

I have never, ever, seen such a disgusting spectacle as this though.

Is it now too much to ask to wear man panties with a kilt?

This guy may have balls, but they were sure as hell schriveled up after this. Dumbass.

Nick

Fuck you Friday

You didn't think I would miss out on Fuck you Friday, did you? Well, since I've been doing mostly music related posts lately, I think I'll stick with that. And one of the biggest fuck you bands was one we discussed the other day, FEAR. A lovely band who has been around since 1977, FEAR is one of the original American punk rock bands. And I believe the only one to ever play Saturday Night Live, even though the set was cut. Quite an accomplishment for a punk band though :) They were featured on the first Decline of Western Civilization as well, which is a funky documentary and soundtrack if you can get your hands on it.

I stuck a couple of songs up from their best album (IMO), Live... For the Record. I hope you like them, because I like them.

Love ya
Nick

Hands in the air, Rockabye your bear...

I don't like to put mainstream, commercial music on my blog. It just seems like they're more likely to sue your ass, as opposed to lesser known artists, who just want to get their music out there. But I made an exception and uploaded a few songs from the Rockabye Baby albums. They won't stay up long, so check them out.

And then go to their website and buy some cds (compact discs).

Love ya
Nick

Hello?

Why didn't anyone tell me about this? I'm in love all over again...

I'll post more when I regain consciousness.

Nick

This post contains everything you didn't want to know about me...

I've always really wanted to come out of the closet. You know how some people make this big deal about coming out of the closet and announcing they're gay... or that they're 38 and still playing video games... or they're becoming a woman...

Our old dentist actually sent us a two page letter in the mail at one time explaining that he, was now becoming a she. It was one of most awkward pieces of writing I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Back to the closet, and me coming out of it. Now, once upon a time, I sort of came out of a small closet and announced that I was bisexual. But, I think anyone who has been reading this blog for any amount of time already knew of my rather deviant activities, especially relating to sex, so it probably wasn't a real big shocker. And it's no fun to come out of the closet if the door was already half open...

I actually have two confessions to make in this post, or "coming outs", if you will. I expect that when I divulge my first "coming out", a lot of people will lose what little respect they had for me. Upon my second "coming out", I suspect I will have to close this blog for lack of readers... But, no one comes out of the closet with the expectation that life will ever be how it once was. That's the risk you take. So, here I go...

Oh god, how do I say this... Oh, come on, just say it. Ok... I like techno. There! I said it! I like to listen to techno!!! I have a lot of goofy interests when it comes to music, and one of them is techno. It really started back in my drug-doing days. The first time I did acid, a bunch of us spent the night at a friend's house, and one of my friends was the hippy/goofy/techno type. He blasted this music thru the house all night that really drove several of us to edge of insanity. But it was fun. The music was trippy.

I've never been a raver type though. You know, the kids who take a bunch of weird drugs like ecstasy and suck on those ring sucker things... yeah, not me. I did go to an outdoor rave once though. It was in a city park, in the middle of the day. A bunch of djs just set up in a park shelter, with their turntables and enough damn electronics to power a KISS concert. And then imagine 50 or 60 kids running around the park with so much pot and acid that people were just giving it away, and throwing it on the ground. And we grew up in a very capitalistic drug scene. Nothing was free, and no way were drugs ever wasted. But, it was a weird, weird, very weird day...

So yeah, me and techno... whodathunkit? By the way, the hot wife absolutely hates techno, so you're not alone in your disgust and disdain.

And now, if you've thrown up already reading this post, I would suggest just closing your browser. What I'm about to tell you is not for the faint of heart. Ugh... this hurts... Ok, while I'm not exactly a fan of the group, I like a couple of extended dance mix versions from a group called Tatu...

Most sane people are scratching their heads... "who the fuck is Tatu?" Well, you may or may not remember, a couple of years ago they came on to the MTV scene with a song called "All the things she said". And then there was this big controversy about their manager, who just put two Russian girls together and paraded them out as lesbian schoolgirls who run around in their underwear and make out in the pouring rain. Apparently there's a market for that kind of stuff? Who knows...

I realize that extended dance mix version is just a nice way of saying shitty techno, but something about girls singing in Russian to shitty techno does it for me. Hey, it's not my fault they were poor Russian girls taken advantage of by some weirdo, pervert manager and exploited by an American culture obsessed with sex (me)... Actually, I'm really just obsessed with female singers.

Well, if I'm going to hell, you might as well come with. So, some Tatu over in the box.

Love ya
Nick

Q & A

steve asks: "your pic shows you with a guitar. you say you were once in a band, but you're not now. why?"

Besides not being that good on guitar? LOL I was never cut out to be in a band really. Don't get me wrong, I love rockin' out, but as far as practicing, and getting gigs and all that... it just isn't me. I'm an introvert, and they don't seem to do well in bands. Unless they're drummers LOL Aside from that, I really have always loved my acoustic more than an electric. Not too many acoustic bands out there :)

steph! asks: "True or False...the opening perfomance of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in the movie 'Old School' is one of the top ten best opening scenes in a movie?"

It's not really an opening to the movie, but I do love that scene. The Dan Band is funny as hell :) BTW - a little trivia for you, what is THE best opening scene to a movie? The winning answer gets a prize...

"Or...fill-in the following blank: If I had a million dollars I'd" quit my job and sleep all day. And pay off all my bills and buy a new house in the country with a mile long driveway and a kick ass hot tub in the back that we could get naked in :)

"And (because I want to hear this one) how old is your child and do you plan on having anymore?"

Braeden is 8 months old, and no, we don't plan to have anymore. It would just push out the day that I can run around the house naked even further...

Nick

Hows about I talk about me?

As is customary in my world, since interviews are flying around again, feel more than free to ask any questions you may have of me. Or if there is a topic you would like to see discussed here, I'm always open to topic suggestions. I have a zillion post topics saved up and ready to go, but it's always hit and miss with what interests ya'll. Well... usually it's miss... Ya'll are a hard group to generate interest with...

I would imagine this will be a bit of a slow week in the blogging world, with the holiday smack dab in the middle of the week and all, so perhaps we can spice it up a little bit with some reader feedback, questions or suggestions.

Love ya
Nick

Take me out to the ballgame...

We took a little trip yesterday, to invade enemy territory and show them how baseball is really played. And of course, the Brewers spanked the Cubbies 13-4.

We even got to see Scottie Pippen when we were driving down Addison St. on our way to Wrigley. He was in his black Escalade right next to us! I wasn't convinced it was even him, until we get to the park, and sure enough, who's throwing out the first pitch? Scottie Pippen. Nice...

It was a good day, and one of my lifelong dreams was fulfilled.



btw - I'll get to interviews probably tomorrow.

Nick

Fuck you Friday, and, Interview time, again...

The interviews strike again. This time it's the little things... flings some questions over. And I answer.


1. I know you have a young child. If I told you the only way he would have a happy life is if you were to walk out right now and never see him again, would you do it?

Consider me gone. The happiness of my child is infinitely more important than mine. I know that even if I wasn't around, he would have a wonderful family structure around him and he would be raised properly. He's a smart boy, I know he would do fine.

2. If the Hot Wife were to leave you tomorrow, what would be your plan to carry out the rest of your life?

I guess the first thing I would do is start looking for an apartment... And then I would hit the bars looking for cute little blonde college girls to take home and (beep) in the (beep). Eat your heart out hot wife.... Hey, you left me, you don't get to tell me what to do anymore!

Honestly, I would probably spend several weeks shocked and depressed. Aside from being my wife, mother to my child and contributor to the household, the hot wife is really my best friend. We essentially do most everything together, and she's the only person in the world that I know I can trust and can tell anything to. That would be a huge hole in my life that I know I would really struggle to fill.

I don't know that I would have a plan. I've never been one to plan. I guess I would just try to take it one day at a time and... fuck, I don't know. I'd be bored, that's for sure.

3. If you could walk away from your current life for one month and go anywhere and do anything and no one would ever find out what it is....what would that be?

Man, would I just love some fucking sleep! I would spend half the time just catching up on sleep. And then I would spend the other half in Vegas at the World Series of Poker, playing every single tournament.

4. If our laws were to suddenly become those of Iran and you were in danger of being labeled a "Corruptor of the World", would you change anything about your lifestyle? If so, what?

I'd probably just move to Canada :) I would not thrive in such a conservative and oppressive society, even if I did make immediate lifestyle changes (stop having sex with the shades open) to avoid being executed. Sooner or later the mullahs would find something to lock me up for (amateur porn websites).

5. If you could bring one person back to life, who would it be?

I would bring the hot wife's father back to life. I would love nothing more to bring my own father back to life, but unlike her, I was fortunate enough to be able to have a father in my life into adulthood. Her father passed away when she was very young and I think it would make a lot of dreams come true for her, and her whole family, to be able to spend time with him. I could also use some boxing lessons :)

And then, even though I've interviewed several of you, rules are rules:

Do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Nick

Sweet Momma!

Ya know how I mentioned the other day that I was going thru some of our old music tapes? I was really hoping to find two bands that I used to love back when I was much younger, Crass and Naked Aggression.

Naked Aggression is a band that came about in the early 90s from Madison, WI. And because of the very abrasive female vocals (see Tilt as well), they quickly became a favorite band for me. In my top 100 (coming soon), they will easily be in the top 10.

Hearing not only the tape I found with them on it, but the .mp3s I was able to get from their website (in the box), brought back a flood of memories... Take a listen, crank it up, and enjoy some good 'ole fashioned punk rock. Much, much better than the Sex Pistols :)

Nick

I'm a dance dance dance dance dancing machine....

Twice now in the past two days I've had conversations about dancing. In particular, men who dance, and the women who love them. Some women pretend they don't drool all over men who can dance. They're liars. All, and yes dammit, I mean all, women love a man who can rip up a dance floor. And therein lies the problem. 99.9% of men can't dance to save their lives.

I can't dance to save my life. I'm the whitest white boy when it comes to dancing... it's really pretty sad.

Which makes you wonder... if most men can't dance, why do women like men who can dance? Why the unreasonable desires? It would be like if men liked women who were cheerleaders... or strippers, or what not. Most women aren't those things, so who would we be to have such unreasonable desires?

I of course have no idea, like the rest of the planet, exactly why women are the way they are. But I've thought about this for about six minutes now and I think I may have come up with a couple of reasons why women like a man who can dance.

One obvious reason is that, because so few men are willing to step out of their typical manly comfort zone to learn to dance, it's like they're getting something that no one else has. Like a really rare purse, or roses on a random day, etc... Maybe they don't even really like the dude, or could give a rip that he can dance. Just as long as no one else can have him, but they know everyone wants him... that's usually enough.

A likelier reason would be that women are just sick of dancing with other women. And sick of guys just sitting on the sidelines watching, dreaming, waiting for that moment where they just say, "fuck it", and start kissing, and it moves to the side of the dance floor where they start ripping off each others...

...wait... what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, dancing.

I think unfortunately for us men, the likeliest reason that women love men that can dance is because of the movie Wedding Crashers. Don't even tell me you women didn't get all tingly seeing Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn set the dance floor on fire in that movie. Them fuckers...

Ya know, the whole premise of that movie is every guy's worst nightmare. If you can dance, you take home tons of women. For how funny and entertaining that movie was, it was probably the greatest single disservice to men in general. Two great looking men, who can dance, are funny and witty, and single...

As men, we have a fuck of a lot of work to do...

Nick

Never mind the other 99...

Given last week's discussion in the comments about the greatest guitar players, I thought it would be fun to come up with my favorite 100 bands of all time. Not necessarily the best, but my favorite. I'm still working on it, but I was pondering whether to put the Sex Pistols on it or not. I went back and listened to some Sex Pistols and decided that I would indeed put them on there. And then I put some in the box as reference, from the album/movie The Great Rock and Roll Swindle. To hell with Never Mind the Bollocks, this album is a much better pick if you want to listen to some Sex Pistols.

btw - as a side note, did you know that Johnny "Rotten" Lydon asked Flea (formerly of FEAR, and then obviously Red Hot Chili Peppers) to be in his post-Pistols band PIL??? I was blown away to learn that Flea was bassist in FEAR, which we learned watching American Hardcore Sunday night... I was even more blown away to think that Flea could have played with Johnny Rotten and turned it down to play in RHCP.

btww - Johnny Rotten is a douche.

btwww - Sid Vicious was a bigger douche and the worst bass player ever.

btwwww - I converted the files to .mp3, so you can preview them without downloading the file.

Nick

Friday nothingness

Well, I'm in the new blogger in draft. Doesn't seem to special, except you can upload video. That might be nice... we'll see.

Other than that, just uploaded some new music for ya'll in the box. This week's theme is cover songs. I like cover songs because when you hear the real song, you can actually sing along, and then people look at you and say, "how the hell do you know the words to this song?!"

I like to appear more cultural than I really am...

Hope you like them.

Nick

Sicko

Bet you thought this post was going to be about Michael Moore. Sorry, only room for one serious topic a month around here...

But, this is an interesting article. Two 14 year old girls were kicked off a Portland, OR city bus for kissing each other.

The girls, both 14, said the driver called them "sickos" after a female passenger complained about their kiss. The driver then stopped the bus along the street and forced them off.

First of all, how prissy and prude do you have to be to complain about two girls kissing on a city bus? It's one thing to not mind your own business, but to go out of your way to complain about it? I thought this was Oregon? Tolerant Oregon...

But second of all, where the hell were all of these girls kissing each other when I was 14? What the hell has happened in the past 13 (gulp) years? Because girls didn't kiss when I was kid. It just didn't happen. It was gay back then. Sick(o). Not to the boys, but to the girls...

I was lucky when I was 13 to have a girl show us her boobs. That was it! We didn't get to watch her make out with her friends... Incidentally, she's now a stripper, so I'm not sure we were the best of influences for her.

I mean, I realize Bill Clinton made oral sex ok for everyone, but what can we point to that made girls kissing other girls ok? What did I miss? I like to consider myself fairly knowledgeable about sexual culture and what not, but I completely missed the boat on this one.

Some days I feel really old...

Nick

The HSUS? Oh, I love them!

If you follow the national media, and in particular football, you have probably heard about Atlanta Falcon's quarterback Michael Vick. He's in some heat because a house he owns in Virginia was raided in April and what they found suggested the occupants were involved in dog fighting.

Well, there was an interesting article that showed up by the Associated Press today involving our good friend Wayne Pacelle of the Humane Society of the United States. Wayne has apparently been on a letter writing campaign, blasting Nike for not immediately dropping Vick, even before he has been charged with any crime.

We've previously dealt with PeTA, but perhaps we should deal with the HSUS and Wayne Pacelle, since apparently even the national news media has no intention of exposing them for who they really are.

First, let's deal with the organization, Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). It was established in 1954 as the National Humane Society, a spin-off group from the American Humane Association. In 1970, the group had 30,000 members and an annual budget of $500,000. By the end of 2003, they had over $113 million in assets and paid over $14.8 million in annual salaries and benefits.

You would think, with all that money, the HSUS would be funding every shelter and dog rescue in the country. But in 2002, the HSUS gave only $150,000 to actual humane societies and shelters. In fact, on their website it states: The HSUS is neither legally nor contractually affiliated with—nor is a parent organization for—local humane societies, animal shelters, or animal care and control agencies. In short, The HSUS does not operate or have direct control over any animal shelter.

Pretty tricky to have a name like Humane Society of the United States and not be affiliated with any actual humane society, don't you think? Like PeTA, the HSUS realized that if you have a warm and fuzzy name, it helps mask your radical agenda from the uniformed public.

On to it's wonderful leader. In 2004 Wayne Pacelle became HSUS President and CEO. Pacelle is a strict vegan and immediately went to work targeting the treatment of farm animals, promoting a vegan diet and the elimination of all hunting and breeding of domestic animals. In a June 2005 interview, Pacelle said that HSUS is working on "a guide to vegetarian eating" and emphasized "reducing meat consumption" as one of HSUS’s goals. Hmmm. Sounds like PeTA's goals too...

"We have no ethical obligation to preserve the different breeds of livestock produced through selective breeding. . One generation and out. We have no problem with the extinction of domestic animals. They are creations of human selective breeding." Wayne Pacelle, Animal People, May, 1993.

"If we could shut down all sport hunting in a moment, we would." Wayne Pacelle, Associated Press, Dec 30, 1991.

"Our goal is to get sport hunting in the same category as cock fighting and dog fighting." Wayne Pacelle, (Bozeman (MT) Daily Chronicle, October 8, 1991.

He kind of sounds like a nutcase, right? A nutcase who doesn't even really care for animals all that much apparently...

"I don’t have a hands-on fondness for animals... To this day I don’t feel bonded to any non-human animal. I like them and I pet them and I’m kind to them, but there’s no special bond between me and other animals." Wayne Pacelle quoted in Bloodties: Nature, Culture and the Hunt by Ted Kerasote, 1993, p. 251.

Who else is/was involved in the HSUS? Let's take a peak...

In 1986, the Washingtonian asked then-HSUS Vice-President for Laboratory Animals John McArdle about his opinion that brain-dead humans should be substituted for animals in medical research. "It may take people a while to get used to the idea," McArdle said, "but once they do the savings in animal lives will be substantial."

And then...

There's Ariana Huemer, anarchist and HSUS government-affairs employee. An FBI evidence recovery log from the search of Daniel Andreas San Diego’s car describes a check Huemer wrote to him. San Diego, member of a group called Revolutionary Cells, and currently on the FBI’s "Most Wanted" list, is presumed responsible for 10-pound shrapnel bombs detonated in 2003 at two California biomedical research companies. One of these bombs was accompanied by a "secondary" device, timed to detonate after paramedics and firefighters arrived on the scene.

Revolutionary Cells' statement told employees: "You never know when your house, your car even, might go boom. Who knows, that new car in the parking lot may be packed with explosives. Or maybe it will be a shot in the dark ... all customers and their families are considered legitimate targets."

And then...

There's John "J.P." Goodwin. Before joining HSUS, Goodwin was a member of the terrorist organization Animal Liberation Front. In 2000, HSUS sent Goodwin as it's emissary on a tour of Chinese fur farms. By 2001 he was an HSUS employee, and as of at least 2005, was still on the full-time staff. Besides being arrested and convicted of vandalizing fur retailers in several states, he told reporters for the Deseret News (March 11, 1997) in reference to a $1 million ALF arson of a fur farmers' feed co-op in Utah, "We're ecstatic. We have no problem with inanimate objects being destroyed so animate objects can survive. We believe life is more valuable than property".

"It's time for the animal rights movement to take this [fur] industry and drive the final nail into the coffin by whatever means it takes. If that means being outside the executives houses, if that means blockading their doors, whatever it takes." J.P. Goodwin, Humane Society of the US Campaign Director, former executive director of the Coalition to Abolish the Fur Trade, in speech at the World Congress for Animals, June 20, 1996.

"We have found that civil disobedience and direct action has been powerful in generating massive attention in our communities ... and has been very effective in traumatizing our targets." J.P. Goodwin, National Animal Rights Convention '97, June 27, 1997.

"My goal is the abolition of all animal agriculture." J.P. Goodwin, as quoted on AR-Views, an animal rights Internet discussion group in 1996.

Also, lucky for you, HSUS, like PeTA, spreads animal-rights propaganda to school-children as young as five.

One package, titled "People and Animals - A Humane Education Guide", suggests films and books for teachers to present to their students. In these recommended teaching tools, sport hunters are called "selective exterminators" and "drunken slobs" who participate in a "blood sport" and a "war on wildlife" with "maniacal attitudes toward killing."

Just thought I would give you a little taste of the organization and who plays with it, because I doubt most people go looking for this information on their own. Neat huh?

Nick

What the frack?

I... uh.... hmmm...

A baby bed made of cardboard huh?

Well, at least Al Gore would be proud....

What else do you say? You can, uh... paint it? And draw pretty pictures on it?

Fuck... I give up...

Nick

vacation

Gas to drive to Wisconsin Dells - $48.00
Beer, chips and sunscreen - $34.57
Pool - $5.00

Splashing the shit out of everything around you for 20 minutes - priceless



Nick

We'll always have Paris baby...

I don't understand why people can't just get over themselves and leave my poor girlfri.... er, good friend Paris alone. Come on people. Like you've never drove drunk and violated your probation, and then got released from jail early, and then had to go back to jail for an even longer sentence....

Hypocrites....

btw - does anyone really look hotter in a tie than me? Don't answer that...

Nick