Fuck you Friday

You didn't think I would miss out on Fuck you Friday, did you? Well, since I've been doing mostly music related posts lately, I think I'll stick with that. And one of the biggest fuck you bands was one we discussed the other day, FEAR. A lovely band who has been around since 1977, FEAR is one of the original American punk rock bands. And I believe the only one to ever play Saturday Night Live, even though the set was cut. Quite an accomplishment for a punk band though :) They were featured on the first Decline of Western Civilization as well, which is a funky documentary and soundtrack if you can get your hands on it.

I stuck a couple of songs up from their best album (IMO), Live... For the Record. I hope you like them, because I like them.

Love ya
Nick

Fuck you Friday, and, Interview time, again...

The interviews strike again. This time it's the little things... flings some questions over. And I answer.


1. I know you have a young child. If I told you the only way he would have a happy life is if you were to walk out right now and never see him again, would you do it?

Consider me gone. The happiness of my child is infinitely more important than mine. I know that even if I wasn't around, he would have a wonderful family structure around him and he would be raised properly. He's a smart boy, I know he would do fine.

2. If the Hot Wife were to leave you tomorrow, what would be your plan to carry out the rest of your life?

I guess the first thing I would do is start looking for an apartment... And then I would hit the bars looking for cute little blonde college girls to take home and (beep) in the (beep). Eat your heart out hot wife.... Hey, you left me, you don't get to tell me what to do anymore!

Honestly, I would probably spend several weeks shocked and depressed. Aside from being my wife, mother to my child and contributor to the household, the hot wife is really my best friend. We essentially do most everything together, and she's the only person in the world that I know I can trust and can tell anything to. That would be a huge hole in my life that I know I would really struggle to fill.

I don't know that I would have a plan. I've never been one to plan. I guess I would just try to take it one day at a time and... fuck, I don't know. I'd be bored, that's for sure.

3. If you could walk away from your current life for one month and go anywhere and do anything and no one would ever find out what it is....what would that be?

Man, would I just love some fucking sleep! I would spend half the time just catching up on sleep. And then I would spend the other half in Vegas at the World Series of Poker, playing every single tournament.

4. If our laws were to suddenly become those of Iran and you were in danger of being labeled a "Corruptor of the World", would you change anything about your lifestyle? If so, what?

I'd probably just move to Canada :) I would not thrive in such a conservative and oppressive society, even if I did make immediate lifestyle changes (stop having sex with the shades open) to avoid being executed. Sooner or later the mullahs would find something to lock me up for (amateur porn websites).

5. If you could bring one person back to life, who would it be?

I would bring the hot wife's father back to life. I would love nothing more to bring my own father back to life, but unlike her, I was fortunate enough to be able to have a father in my life into adulthood. Her father passed away when she was very young and I think it would make a lot of dreams come true for her, and her whole family, to be able to spend time with him. I could also use some boxing lessons :)

And then, even though I've interviewed several of you, rules are rules:

Do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Nick

Tell me how you hate your mother...

Alright, I think it's time to lighten things up a bit. Thank you everyone who commented on yesterday's post. I debated back and forth about whether to post about Natron, because like I said before, I hate posting depressing things. But it helped to tell the story and get it off my chest.

So, moving on... I'm going to try something a little different now. I'm not sure how it will work, or what will come of it, but it could be interesting. You know how when you see a shrink, sometimes they will show you pictures, and you say the first thing that comes to your mind? Well, we're going to mix it up a little. I'm going to write some things, all you have to do is leave comment with the first thing that comes to mind. Remember, don't think about it, just write the first thing you think of.... Let's roll.

1. I've already spilled apple sauce and ketchup on myself today. Luckily I'm wearing a red shirt.

2. I've installed IP blocker on my blog so I can block you.

3. A woman in Texas is currently accused of selling her 15 year old daughter to a man for $3,000. The man was already accused of indecency with a child and possession of child pornography.

4. I have no intentions of seeing Michael Moore's new movie "Sicko".

5. Oral sex spreads the virus that causes cervical cancer and may lead to throat cancer.

6. In two and a half months, our other blog is now averaging just under 10 times the hits this blog is after two and a half years.

7. It takes two to make a thing go right.

Nick

Fuck you Friday, and the thought process of a working class white male...

I was thinking life over last night as I was trying to fall asleep. It's kind of a routine I go thru, you know, bring all of my thoughts from the day to conclusion. So, I'm laying there thinking about this blog, and that blog, and some of the family issues we're going thru, and who I would vote for for President, and why I just can't bring myself to order anything other than a club sandwich when we order in, etc...

And then... my thoughts drift, as they usually do when my serious thoughts for the day have run their course. And I start thinking about women kissing other women. And why I'm so attracted to two women kissing. Why are men in general so attracted to two women kissing?

Now, sure, one could state the obvious reason. Well, two women are better than one, right? Of course. But there has to be more than that, I think.

And then I started thinking about this blog I was reading the other day, and the guy writing was trying to define sexy. Don't worry, I read these types of blogs after my kid goes to bed... But he was talking mostly about physical characteristics of what is sexy, cheerleaders and schoolgirls with pigtails and what not, which would simply support the - two women are better than one theory.

I'm not satisfied with that theory, so I beging to wonder how I would define sexy. And while I think there is something to physical attraction, I think of sexy as being more about attitude. In other words, you can be the best looking person in the world, but be a total jackass. You can't be sexy and a jackass, at least not in my little world.

So I relate this back to my original thought about two women kissing. I think, and I would need to see two women kissing again to really evaluate this (enter: the hot wife), that my attraction to two women kissing is more about the attitude of the women than it is about the physical visual stimulation. Since this aligns with my opinions on what is sexy, it would make sense.

You may be wondering, "well, what is so appealing about the attitudes of two women kissing?" And I would say, "uh, you just answered your own question." They're kissing! Another woman! Duh. When I see two women kissing, it tells me one of three things about them:

1. They're both attracted to women (sexy)
2. They're just trying to impress men (sexy)
3. I forgot what the third thing would be... (sexy)

I guess my theory is that the male species (men) attraction to two of the female species (women) coupling (kissing) has more to do with the open-minded attitude (slutiness) of the female species (women) involved than it does the simple physical stimulation (watching porn on the computer).

Hmm. Weird. But logical. Fuck it, it's Friday.

Nick

Fuck you Friday was yesterday...

When it comes down to it, the hot wife and I are pretty pathetic. Even after 10 years together, we have never mastered the art of fighting or arguing with each other. I've always kind of admired the couples that can sustain hours of yelling and throwing shit at each other, and then they're pissed off at each other for weeks on end. High school couples often put us to shame when arguing.

Every one of our arguments over 10 years has started exactly the same way. Normally a couple with great communication, we've just never been good at coming forward with things that bother us. So one person basically walks into a booby trap, completely oblivious. And then it begins...

What's wrong?
Nothing...

Every time. As if the other person is stupid or something. Finally after much prying, we tell the other one what is bothering us. Then come rebuttals and counter-rebuttals and so on and so forth. And then... silence.

The silence portion of the argument is typically my doing. I just suck ass at confrontational conversing so I clam up. I'm a big believer in the fifth amendment. And I'm pretty sure this drives the hot wife absolutely crazy, but it's just how I deal with things. Or, not deal with things... I need time to let things soak in and develop a plan of action before I'm able to talk about it again. And this can last anywhere from 10 minutes to a day or so. I think one time I lasted a couple of days, but that was a pretty serious offense. If it goes too long, the hot wife knows that she can always revert to crying. Crying is like kryptonite to me, so she'll drop a few tears and I crumble like an old Vegas hotel... There is something written deep in my genetic code that will not allow for me to be upset with someone who is crying. I'm weak.

Then we'll talk again, clear the air and vow to the love god to be better people.

And that's pretty much it. Pathetic, isn't it?

Oh, wait, and then we have make-up sex... And when I say we have make-up sex, I really mean we... wait, uh, nevermind. Forgot which blog I was writing on there for a second...

BTW - I actually was in a band once. A prize to the first person who can name it... No, dear hot wife, you can't play...

BTW - We didn't get drunk and take showers together. But I have kissed the bass player. Wait a second... and then he dated my sister-in-law... I just threw up in my mouth.

BTW - The dog is real, and wasn't a metaphor. Please pray for her, because if anything happens to her, whole cities will burn to the ground...

Nick