I'M EIGHTEEN!!! DA NANA NA NANA!!!

There's a lot of crappy things about living in a hick town in Wisconsin. There's nothing to do, no good shopping, no sun, no warm weather... things of that nature. But there are some good things about it too.

Like the County Fair. The County mutha f'ing Fair. It's everything you big city folks dream of. Lots of obnoxious neon lights, pirate ship rides that go upside down and make you barf your sno-cone out your nose, and the carnies... oh the carnies. Them bastards will literally drag you into their shacks to waste $15 trying to shoot a basketball into an oval hoop, or hit balloons filled with some inert gas that doubles as invisible concrete. All for some stupid stuffed animal which you end up having to carry around the rest of the time, or the framed picture of Hulk Hogan still left over from the '83 fair.

But then... then... there is the concerts at night. For some reason, as sucky as our little shithole town is, we bring in some of the best B list acts to ever roam the planet. The other year we had Heart come to town. HEART! Barracuda. Magic Man. Those are some classic songs. I love Heart.

Then last year we had none other than Charlie Daniels. CHARLIE DANIELS! Alright, enough with the yelling. Charlie Daniels, well known for The Devil Went Down to Georgia... just rocks the house. Johnny Cash would be better, no doubt, but he's dead, so Charlie Daniels is really the next best thing.

But this year... This year will be like no other. They have announced the main acts for Friday and Saturday night at the Fond du Lac, WI County Fair.

Saturday night will rock out with none other than George Thorogood. Good f'ing lord. This is going to be one rockin' drunk fest folks. I mean, does George Thorogood even have a song that doesn't involve beating the shit out of someone or getting piss wasted? Wow. I'm stoked for this concert.

But. What will take place on Friday night will be unparalleled. I present to you..... drumroll...... Alice. Mutha. F'ing. COOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPER!

I'M EIGHTEEN!!! DA NANA NA NANA EIGHTEEN! DA NANA NA NANA LIKE IT! LOVE IT! EIGHTEEN EIGHTEEN!!!

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

That's me on stage with Alice Cooper in '93. We rocked the house that night, and I plan to do the same when he comes back to town.

Nick

Happy Hump Day

I feel like writing, but I don't have anything specific to discuss, so we're back to the choppy posts. Deal with it.

- I've been watching this whole immigration discussion pretty closely. It's interesting. You know what I found really strange though? In all the pictures of the protests I've seen, not one American flag waving. Lots of Mexican flags though. I happen to think all sides of the arguement are too extreme and unrealistic, but I admit it's a tough issue.

There's a lot of people who are advocating sending all the illegal immigrants back to where they came from. 12 million people. You want us to kick 12 million people out of the country... mmmmkay...

I think when I retire, I'd like to go live in Mexico on some beach. It's dirt cheap to live there. The wealth gap goes both ways you know...

- Isn't it weird how you get few comments on what you think are very good posts, and a shit load on posts you weren't even sure you wanted to post in the first place?

- I'm sure you heard about the Christian dude in Afghanistan who was about to be put to death because he abandoned Islam. I don't like stereotypes, but it's hard to find a positive about Islam these days. They kill people for drawing cartoons, they kill people for their religious beliefs, sometimes they just get on a bus with a belt full of explosives and blow themselves up.

Is it the religion or the environment these people live in? I guess you don't see any Islamic suicide bombers in the United States... I wonder why? Maybe they are viewed in the same light as black Republicans... sell-outs... Uncle Saddams...

- Our baby is now the size of a small bean. The appendix is visible. What the hell does the appendix even do? You hear people getting them taken out all the time, and they seem fine. Hey, if mine's going to be a problem some day, and I can be fine without, take the damn thing out now! What kind of weird name is appendix for an organ? It seems like that's where doctors would plug their stuff into to see what's going on with the other, more important organs...

- There's more, but really, why?

Nick

Don't I Look Fabulous?

Did you guys notice that I was on spring break last week? Me neither. I decided to forego the warm Florida beaches and Girls Gone Wild to spend more time with the hot wife this year. I figured with her being pregnant with my child and all, it's the least I could do.

Yeah fricken right! Seriously, you think I would pass up spring break in the warm Florida sun, just because the hot wife is preggo?

I don't think so yo. Just drool all over these fly pics...


Here's me and the homies mackin' in front of some weird castle shit. Later we got totally wasted and planted our own flags on that damn castle yo...


Me and the bitches and some rocks. Notice the ocean in the backround. That's hot. After this we all went skinny dipping. I think we all made out too. I dunno, I had a lot to drink that day. I think you can see why...


Um, let's see... Just practicing our routines in this one. Damn that dude's a wuss... I think I drank his ass under the table later that day. He had like three beers and was puking all over himself. Tool.


Uh... think I just stumbled in front of this picture. Yeah. Not quite sure who those people are. I actually had a lot to drink that day, so that doesn't surprise me. They look like a bunch of sell-outs anyway. I mean, how much did you get paid to hold up that gay banner?


Ah yes, then we kicked it up with some rad beach guitar. I showed these pussies up when I hopped on the strings yo. See that dude with the bongo drum? Totally macked his chick later that night. What a bunch of tools in this pic... What is that dude on the left even playing, F minor? You can't lay down no wicked licks with that note yo. Dumbass.

Well, that was about it really. A totally rad time as you can see.

Nick

Dick Is Laying Flat

I realized this morning that it has been some time since the boys graced you with some of their fantastic poetry. In case you haven't read the poems prior, you can find some of them here, here and here.

The first one was written by me, but, I like that one the best, so go read it if you haven't already.

So, um, here goes... This one's called, uh, Mission Accomplished. Or wait, no, Victory. No, that's stupid... Let's just get on with the stupid poem.

The campaign was hard
and the work was tough
But now it's over
for at least seven months

We lost the early battles
and we lost a few good men
But we never gave up
always back to try again

Then one night in late February
we slipped in for a night of fun
And Ava or Braeden found the passage
I don't remember which one

We watched them head upstream
we could tell they were filled with glee
Our mission was accomplished
and it was time to party

Now we have seven months
with no pressure to be had
And we get to see some daylight
at least until our commander's a dad

Then we'll be forgotten for a while
and sleep will be the priority
But you can't keep us down forever
we'll be back, you'll see...

Good. Good stuff. Yup.

Nick

Dude It's Lost Forever

I've had to run through a few things in my mind in regards to this impending parenthood. I've come to the conclusion that it's so much easier just thinking for yourself. But whatever, it comes with the territory I guess. Luckily I still have about eight months to mull these things over in my head.

Take politics for example. Now, I know that I have some teachers who read, so I'll try to go easy on ya'll, but I've never been real excited about giving all my tax money to schools and teachers. And I don't know how it is in your states, but we pay a lot of money for schools and teachers. And they are always wanting more and more and more and more money. Mo' money. $8 million here, $24 million there, we need new schools and new books and new computers and plasma tvs in the lunchroom and security cameras in the bathrooms and blah blah blah.

Enough already! I had shitty shit when I went to school, these little brats should be able to get by on even less. Sometimes I wish they would just go around to everyone's house with a syringe and just take your blood that way. It would be cheaper.

"Please, take my blood and my first born. Just leave me some money so I can at least eat McDonalds... and get a six pack of beer..."

But now I'm thinking, damn... these people are going to be watching my bratty ass kid for a third of their adolescent life. I don't know if I want to be pissing these people off. I'm sorry about all the bad things I've said about teachers. Commence taking all my money...

What about war? Or Abortion? Do I want my kid living in a world with all this killing? Screw it, I'm still for both of them. Hey, we have too many people in this world, don't blame me. Well, I guess I am kind of at fault.

See why I'm so confused about these things?

What about my favorite, religion. Anyone who has been following me around for any amount of time knows I'm not religious. I'm not anti-religion, I just don't subscribe, I guess you could say. But now there's all these religious traditions associated with having a kid. Like baptism. Do we get our kid baptized? Do we not? Am I wrong to impose religion on my kid? Will the kid go to hell? What's hell? Am I going to be the devil dad? With other parents schoo their kids away from me?

I have more fricken questions than I'm sure the kid will.

I just told the hot wife, since she is more religious than I, if you want to have the child baptized, we will. It really doesn't matter to me either way. I just hope I don't give anyone the wrong impression and they start asking if they will be seeing me in church on Sundays from now on.

"Have you found the Lord my son?"

"Who?"

I haven't found the Lord. I'm not really looking for him. Or her. Have we decided if the Lord is a male or female yet?

Anyways, in other news, I've gone and signed up for my next race. It's a whopping two mile run. I could do the five mile run, but there's no way in hell (yeah, I figured out what hell was...) I want to run that far. Actually, the next two runs are two miles, before a three mile run in late June. That gives me lots of practice to better my 30 minutes time.

I'm hoping for eight to nine minute miles in this upcoming race. That should land me in the bottom five spots. Damn runners.

Nick

Do I Look Fat?

Wow, the second time I've been tagged for a meme recently. Here goes...

The rules: List seven songs you’re into right now. No matter the genre, whether [or not] they have words, or even if they’re any good, they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now.

Highwayman - Waylon Jennings/Willie Nelson/Johnny Cash/Kris Kristofferson
Farewell Blues - Mason Jennings
American Music - Violent Femmes
Tom Sawyer - Rush
Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
Atlantic City - Mason Jennings (Bruce Springsteen Cover)
Pinball Wizard - The Who

Lots of old stuff in there, but I haven't been too impressed with the music that people put out these days. Frankly, most of it sucks ass.

Yup.

Nick

Do It Like Fonzarelli

If there is one thing I have learned in the short time we've been doing the getting pregnant/being pregnant thing, it's that people can't wait to tell you how great having kids are, but then in the same breath, how shitty they are. It's only with having kids that people do this for some reason. You never hear someone say:

"Yeah, winning the lottery is great, you'll love it, but remember you have to pay a shitload of taxes too."

Or

"Good luck buying a new car, we love ours, but remember it's going to break down in the middle of winter on the side of some country road, and your cell phone battery will be dead, and at every house you knock on the people will pretend they aren't home."

Nope. Just with having babies do people congratulate you just before they punch you in the gut. Why even butter me up buttercup? Why not just cut the bullshit and tell me how much my life is going to suck?

Or, better yet, why not just congratulate me, and leave out the part about how shitty having kids is. Afterall, ignorance is bliss, and bliss is so much better than misery...

Nick

Dad's International Liberation Fund

Well, we have a due date kiddies. Mark November 14th off on your calendars, we're going out to lunch that day.

No, not the hot wife too, she will be in the hospital, giving birth.

No, we aren't doing Mexican.

Maybe Chinese.

*Update - I screwed up. The date we got from the internet was the 14th. The date we got from the doctor was the 13th, so we'll go by that. My bad!

Nick

Damn It Looks Funny

Guess I've been selected to blog about six weird things/habits by Brianne. Hmmm... okay.

1. I masturbate a lot. I don't know if that's more of a weird thing or a habit. But I do it. A lot. I'm doing it right now.

2. I try to evaluate people based on how they react when you walk by them. I'm still developing my theories on this, but I'm quite convinced you can tell everything about a person based on how they react when you walk by them. For instance, do they look at you and not say anything? Do they look down or away? Do they smile? And what does all that mean? I guess that's pretty weird.

3. I rub my fingers together when I eat, to brush the crumbs off. It's kind of hard to notice, but it's an unconcious habit that I can't stop. It even rubbed off on the hot wife, and now she does it too. We're weird.

4. I find it very difficult to sit there and watch someone else on the computer. Especially if I'm trying to help them, or if we're working on something together. Not necessarily because I'm better or smarter, I just have my own thoughts on how to do things, and it's easier for me to just do them than to try to explain to someone else how to do them. Actually I'm just an impatient asshole... I admit it.

5. I will do almost anything, if I don't have to. As soon as I have to do something, or be somewhere, I usually don't want to do it. Like if we just decide to go out one night, I'm cool. If we have plans to go out, most likely I won't want to when the time comes. Especially if it involves going out with other people, because I hate being "stuck" out. Sometimes I just want to leave, and if everyone else wants to stay out, I get very irritable. I guess you could say that I'm just very independent, and the more people try to get me to do something, the less I want to do it. Plus I'm an extreme introvert, and mostly just hate other people...

6. I'm still masturbating. C'mon... you don't think that's weird?

Ok, I'm done.

Nick

The beer bottle. Part deux.

Last night was a little more relaxing than recent nights past. No where to go, no one to meet up with, no big chores to do. Just the hot wife and I to do whatever. And whatever we did.

I was good the night before, running and walking and all that, so I decided to pick up a six pack of some good Wisconsin beer on the way home to unwind with. The hot wife had most of the day off, so the house was nice and clean when I got home. Which was nice, because that meant the unwinding could begin that much sooner.

We grabbed some left over Applebees, I grabbed my beer, and we headed for the couch. Turned on Win Ben Stein's Money. We're eating, watching. I grab my beer to open it, but don't. I rest it between my legs and continue watching. Eating. Then I notice the hot wife is holding it again, just like the night before.

"You, uh, gonna open that for me?" I query.

"Do I get a drink from it if I do?" she returns.

I swallow heavy. "Sure" I riposte.

She slides from her sitting position on the couch to her knees in front of me in one fluid motion. Both her hands start at my hips and slide down my skin tight jeans to grasp the bottle between my legs. She squeezes. Hard. Mmmmm that's hard... She starts opening the bottle, slowly at first, but when that doesn't work she moves faster. Harder. It still doesn't budge. She tries harder. Faster.

"I'm really, really thirsty" she whispers.

I swallow hard again. I can't stand much more of this. I grab the bottle to help. Our four hands are working feverishly at it now. Faster. Harder. I've forgotten all about the tv and the food and all I can think about is the bottle now. And the hot wife. Harder. Damn she's hot. Faster. Working the bottle like a... uh... bartender...

Then it hits me.

"Oh, it's not a twist off. I'll run and grab a bottle opener." I say.

"Ok, can you grab me a water?" she yells as I head for the kitchen.

"Yeah, ok." I yell back.

It wasn't a twist off. Nope.

Nick

I didn't even have to use my AK...

You know, it's kind of amazing all the things you can get done at night, when going to the bar and then coming home drunk and having lots of sex isn't really an option anymore. I mean, I can do those things, but the hot wife can't, so I try to limit the sins I commit.

The other night I ran out to get a six pack, you know, because I can. So we're sitting there, on the couch. Doing what? I don't know, probably watching tv or something. Can I finish? So all of a sudden I look down and she is holding on to my beer. I'm all like, "what the hell are you doing?" And she's all like, "I just want to see what it feels like." Poor hot wife. She just wants a beer people. Can't we make pregnant-woman beer? Like, with good stuff in it?

Anyways, so yeah, back to my post. So last night I did a whole bunch of things, and it was super nice. Yes, super nice. The washer from hell is finally completely fixed, I fixed the leaky furnace, ran over a mile, walked the dogs, finished my homework and even did some laundry.

No. I don't take steroids.

I didn't even know all these things could be accomplished in one night. Usually I will just fix something, because our house breaks daily, and then I will have a beer. And that's pretty much it. I think there is something in beer that makes you lazy, so then you sit around and drink more beer. Maybe I'll so some research tonight and report back tomorrow. Afterall, it's going to be another snow day tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get the day off. Only, if I do, I won't spend another 11 hours drinking, or whatever the hell we did the last snow day we had. That was a bad, bad idea, not be repeated again. Although, I did get to kiss another guy that night, so all in all, it was still bad.

Nick

What are you sinking about?

Well, I'm not smart enough to be able to post videos in my posts, but this one is worth your time...

http://media.putfile.com/Sinking

*Update - does this crash Firefox for anyone? Or is it just me?

nick

Wow. They are big. Yummy.

I didn't listen to any music on the way into work today. I didn't listen to the radio. I just drove. Staring off into the foggy nothingness that has become my morning drive.

Thinking. Replaying the conversation the hot wife and I had just seconds before I walked out the door...

hot wife - "I think my boobs are getting bigger. Do they look bigger?"
me - "Yeah. They're huge."

hot wife - "Come feel them."
me (feeling, touching) - "Wow. They are big."

It's so unfair that I have to do that before leaving for work... I'll be in the bathroom if anyone needs me...

nick

We actually had a nice little weekend planned...

I wouldn't say the weekend was a total loss, but it was close. Nothing I tried to accomplish went very well.



First there was the crib. Now... I know what you are thinking. "they're already putting a crib up?" You don't understand. The hot wife and I are two of the most impatient people you have never really met, but read about. I haven't met any of you, have I?

Anyways, the crib went good at first. I hauled it down from the garage rafters, hauled it upstairs to the nursery... which, by the way, took about an hour and a half. I was lazy. I get it all up there, start putting it together, and we're missing parts. Lesson number one, expect to be missing parts when you get something from someone else and store it in your garage for a few years. Lesson number two... put it together 8 months early, so you can discover you are missing parts, and have plenty of time to order them online. On the best website ever. www. evenflo.com I even wrote them an email telling them how much I loved their website. I feel like such a f-ing soccer mom.



Then, there was the washer from hell. It still is from hell. The stupid hose inside was leaking all over our basement floor every time we did the wash, which for two people, is all the time. I can't imagine when we have a third person... it's going to be 24/7 laundry.

So, we go to Home Depot to get a new hose. Bring it home, hook it up, it's too short, and it leaks. Back to Home Depot. They have one other hose. Bring it home, it's too small and doesn't fit where the hose has to go.

DEATH TO THE WASHER!

So I figure, fuck it. I'm not even going to fix this stupid thing today. That's how I am. I always start things, and never want to finish them So , I'll just go put our brand new ceiling fan up. Well, turns out that involves ripping the ceiling tiles off the ceiling, which didn't go as easily has I'd hoped.



Stay tuned for part two, drywalling the ceiling. Fun!

I did get to see a few movies this weekend though, since we can't really go out anymore. It was nice though. We spent the whole week running around, telling everyone about the pregnancy. It was nice to be home and do nothing but watch movies. We saw Walk the Line and two movies with Ryan Reynolds in them. I dunno, I don't see what women see in this guy...



Yeah, fine... I can quit shaving for a week and look exactly the same. I don't get it. Anyways, I don't even remember what the movies were anymore. Fuck it.

Walk the Line was pretty dumb. I mean, I like Johnny Cash and all, but ok, he popped a lot of pills, we get it. Where's the rest of the damn movie? Boring.

So that's it really. A pictatorial description of the trials and tribulations of a couple in love, experiencing pregnancy, home ownership and the endless walks of life on the couch watching epic films about love, drug use and one shift working in a restaurant. Or whatever,

nick

Welcome

Well, well, well. A new blog. I'm excited about this. Mainly because I just wasn't feeling the old design anymore. I liked it, but didn't feel it was me anymore. But aside from that, as you may or may not know, my hot wife and I were trying for a couple of months to get pregnant. On Monday we found out that she was indeed pregnant. So, a new chapter in our lives, I think, calls for a whole new blog.

Now, I realize that things can happen in pregnancy, and for a whole host of reasons, things may not work out in the end. So I don't want to in any way, shape or form "jinx" things. But I think there is a story to be told here. Pregnancy from a man's perspective is not a story often told. So while some may not believe I am even a dad yet, depending on what your views on when life begins are, I hope I can be entertaining all the same.

Most of you have probably followed me over from the old blogs, but if not, you may be wondering where I came from. Well, I started blogging in September of '04. My blog at that time was called - How did you get here? and later Washing your hands is stupid... I started mainly to bitch about current events, because I think my hot wife was sick of me writing opinion articles in the local newspaper. But I needed a place to write, had heard about blogs and decided to give it a chance. One day, some family members found it, were offended, and that was the end of that.

From there, we moved to a new, slightly more anonymous location. A new idea was born. A blog like no other... i think washing your hands is stupid... There are so many great memories on that blog. I am choosing to keep it active, as is, frozen in time, so feel free to check it out.

When I switched blogs, I wanted to lighten things up. My first blog was pretty serious, pretty political, pretty boring. I think avoiding those types of topics has helped me personally, as well as a writer. I'm much happier now. And dammit, I look good. I feel good. And I think this blog will be a lot of fun. It will be a day to day account of how my life will change sooooo much, as everyone keeps telling me. We'll see.

So sit back, crack open a cold beer, and enjoy. We have about eight months of pregnancy to go, and about 18 years of... well, we'll see what happens.

dilf

There is no "P" in silence...

Co-worker: "Why do men always sit outside the bathroom and talk?"
Me: "Because we have a strict no talking policy in the men's bathroom."

Co-worker: "Well, it puts the pressure on."
Me: "Pressure in the bathroom is no good..."

peace nick

Hey hey momma, said the way you move...

I didn't pay too much attention when I first read my horoscope this morning:

The universe has a big day planned for all of us, full of unexpected arrivals, surprise messages and at least one last minute turnaround.

Yeah, ok. Can we be a little more vague from now on?

I don't really believe in horoscopes all that much, I usually just read mine for fun. But today, it was right. The universe did have a big day planned for all of us. Full of unexpected arrivals and surprise messages.

Unexpected arrivals. Surprise messages. Like...

We're having a baby!

Holy crap, breathe. I'm going to be a dad. Me. I mean, I knew we were trying to get pregnant and all, but I never expected it would lead to me being a dad. Like, with a baby.

A baby. A baby. Baby.

I honestly never thought I would be at this point. I mean, I did, we always wanted to have a baby, but I never actually really thought we would be having a baby.

"Hi, I have a baby." "Would you like to see my baby?" "I'm a dad." "I'm going to have a baby."

Well. I'm going to go pass out now.

peace nick

Pics from the race

Some neato pics from Saturday's race:

Hmmm... I guess my time was about 30:40. Damn photographic evidence...



58 out of 96. Not too shabby.

This about sums up how I felt afterwards...

Fun fun.

peace nick

Misson Accomplished.

We did it. And survived. My official time was 30:40, although I know I finished earlier. I was thinking it was 30:11. But either way, I beat my goal by five minutes!

It's not easy, I'll say that. The first mile was ok. It was cold though. Very cold. I hit the one mile marker, made it a little past, and then my shins cramped up. If you've ever had this pain before, I know you can sympathize with me. Right? It gives new meaning to the saying, "Yooooooww that f-ing hurts!"

From just past the first mile to about a third of the way thru the second, I was in some pain. I had to stop twice to try to stretch it out. Nothing worked. So I pushed on. I took a drink of water, and pushed on. Which, by the way, don't bring water with you. You aren't going to drink it anyways, and it's a pain to carry. Lesson learned. By the end I felt like throwing it at the bitch in front of me who was walking a lot, yet, still beating me...

So anyways, after the mile and a half point, the pain started to ease up. Either that or my body went into shock mode, and I just couldn't feel it. I was so happy to hit the second mile marker. I wanted to get on my knees and hump the cone. Ok, I just wanted to get on my knees, but I would have at least kissed it... But I knew, only one mile to go. You can do it fucker. Run. Run bitch, run.

I ran.

Well, more like a slow jog, but I didn't walk. I didn't walk until the very last straight away, with probably a quarter mile left. I had to. If I would have kept running, my feet would have kept going, my body would have kept going, but my legs would have locked up. I didn't want to feel what that would be like, so I took about 30 seconds to walk.

Then, I ran. My body was not happy. It kept yelling at me, "no bitch, no run... no run..." But I did anyway. I ran. To and thru the finish line. It was orgasmic.

It was kind of like when you have sex for a really long time, and it feels good and all, but you just can't get over that hump (pun intended) to finish... And then just when you are about to give up and fake it to get it over with, it starts feeling really good... And then you get to show her your "O" face... "Oh, OH, OHHHHH"

Am I the king of analogies or what?

I'm happy with my time. Even though I got beat by kids half my age, and older folks old enough to be my grandparents, I'm happy. With only a week of real training, and only having ever run two miles at once, I think I did good.

The worst part is, I feel good. And I would do it again. I am going to do it again, at the end of April. My goal, 28 minutes.

The best part is though, tonight we drink. We're going to party like it's 1999 ya'll. We've been good all week, we ran our 3 miles, but tonight, all hell is going to break loose... Check in tomorrow, I may have some good pictures of me not only doing nasty things with the hot wife, we may just have an orgy. I'm gettin' butt naked with someone, I'll tell ya that much... guys, girls, farm animals... It's all game tonight. Stop by if you want. BYOB.

peace nick

The calm before the storm

Weather conditions for tomorrow's race:

Sunny
24 degrees
light and variable winds

I feel good. I have a whole week's training in. I feel good. 24 degrees is a little nippy, but nothing I can't handle. I played hockey for nine years. I feel good. It's only three miles.

Three miles. Three f-ing miles.

I'm fucked.

peace nick

Take your love and money, give it all to charity...

Kiddies, listen to me. Go to the dentist. Don't wuss out and not go for five, er... ten years. Or you end up with a shit load of cavities and they have to pull teeth, and all that nonsense.

I hate dentists. Nothing good comes from them. Haven't we come up with anything to permanently seal teeth against plaque and all that yet? I used to have great teeth. I had braces when I was kid, never had cavities, I thought I was invincible. Well, it turns out I wasn't. Yeah, all that soda I drank as a kid... not so good. Candy... not so good.

It doesn't tell you on the soda can - May Cause Cavities! Don't Drink! At least when I smoked, I was forced to look at all those stupid warning labels, like - May F-ING Cause Cancer You Idiot!

I've never had a cavity, so I'm not real sure what to expect. I guess I deserve whatever pain I get from this experience for being such a dumbass and not going to the dentist all these years. Of course, they could make it a lot less painful if it didn't cost $120 a pop. Fuck it.

****************************

In other news... the hot wife now has her very own blog. Do the right thing. Check her out. I'm excited to read her writing. You should be too.

****************************

More other news. The race is Saturday. Today I did 2 miles in under 25 minutes. That would only give me 10-15 minutes for the last mile to make my goal. A mile which I have never even experienced. I'm not too excited about that. I need to be faster in my first two miles because I know I won't be able to keep that pace in the third mile.

Either way I'm taking tomorrow off. My legs hurt. Hell, even my damn teeth hurt.

I'm falling apart people.

peace nick

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why don't you allow comments?

The uncool reason is that I have no patience to wait for people to comment and found myself refreshing the site every 10 minutes to see if anyone commented. The cool reason is that I'm showing solidarity with those who are great writers, yet get no comments on their blogs.

2. When is your wife due?

November 11th.

3. What are you having?

We are having a little boy. Or at least a girl with a penis. We plan to name him (or her with a him... thing...) Braeden Carl.

4. What does DILF stand for?

Dehli International Leather Fair or Do I Look Fat?