There are no Saints in New Orleans...

Of course.  Why wouldn't the Saints win the Superbowl?   I didn't really care one way or another in terms of actual football, but my pure and true hatred for New Orleans is so well documented, I'm not sure what else I can say about it.  For past references, see here, here, here, here, here and finally here.

Hate.  New.  Orleans. 

Hate.

nick

Snowmaged....FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!

I heart me a good snowball fight!

 

  

  

  

nick

I've already cloned myself...

As we have been talking more and more about getting another dog, we have been kicking ourselves more and more for not just cloning the dog we had years ago.  The.  Best.  Dog.  Ever.

 

  

  

Aside from my Dad, it's hard to imagine missing anything more than I miss that dog...

Nick

Somewhere between puberty and Burt Reynolds...

I swear every couple of months I get into a conversation over how much (or if) men should shave their... well... junk.  Don't ask me why it's such an issue.  But it is, and I was going over it with a few peeps today.  One had heard from someone who heard from someone that only "civilized men" shaved.  Or "un-civilized men" didn't.  Horse a piece.  When another asked him what camp he fell into, he proudly proclaimed "UN-CIVILIZED".

After I came back from the bathroom to wash the puke out of my mouth I took to the white board for some education and constructed the following graph...

 

*S represents amount of shaving

** a(a) represents level of acceptableness and/or age

nick

If that's your poker face, then I hope I'm never at your table...

 

Holy Jesus...

nick

Would the contestant from Wisconsin get out of the picture please?

 

She should look surprised to win...

nick

Give me two shots of whiskey and a beer chaser...

And in the meantime, enjoy a lesson in music...









nick

Then I read some Howard Zinn and now I'm always depressed...

Howard Zinn passed away today.  I've never been a huge fan, but any good intellectual (like me) has probably read him from time to time.

I especially like his and Noam Chomsky's analysis of The Lord of the Rings...

Especially the theory that pipe-weed is... well, responsible for whatever is going on with the Hobbits...

Zinn: You view the conflict as being primarily about pipe-weed, do you not? 

Chomsky: Well, what we see here, in Hobbiton, farmers tilling crops. The thing to remember is that the crop they are tilling is, in fact, pipe-weed, an addictive drug transported and sold throughout Middle Earth for great profit. 

Zinn: This is absolutely established in the books. Pipe-weed is something all the Hobbits abuse. Gandalf is smoking it constantly. You are correct when you point out that Middle Earth depends on pipe-weed in some crucial sense, but I think you may be overstating its importance. Clearly the war is not based only on the Shire's pipe-weed. Rohan and Gondor's unceasing hunger for war is a larger culprit, I would say. 

Chomsky: But without the pipe-weed, Middle Earth would fall apart. Saruman is trying to break up Gandalf's pipe-weed ring. He's trying to divert it. 

Zinn: Well, you know, it would be manifestly difficult to believe in magic rings unless everyone was high on pipe-weed. So it is in Gandalf's interest to keep Middle Earth hooked. 

Chomsky: How do you think these wizards build gigantic towers and mighty fortresses? Where do they get the money? Keep in mind that I do not especially regard anyone, Saruman included, as an agent for progressivism. But obviously the pipe-weed operation that exists is the dominant influence in Middle Earth. It's not some ludicrous magical ring. 

Zinn: You've mentioned in the past the various flavors of pipe-weed that Hobbits have cultivated: Gold Leaf, Old Toby, etc. 

Chomsky: Nothing better illustrates the sophistication of the smuggling ring than the fact that there are different brand names associated with the pipe-weed. Ah, here we have Gandalf smoking a pipe in his wagon — the first of many clues that link us to the hidden undercurrents of power. 

Zinn: Gandalf is deeply implicated. That's true. And of course the ring lore begins with him. He's the one who leaks this news of the supposed evil ring.


nick

I can fail and win all at the same time!

So, obviously I failed in my quest to post every day.  Oh well, I'll still love you NaBloPoMo and I will try to honor you as well.  But I did fail for good reason.  Hot Wife and I spent last night finishing up our taxes and plotting our climb over Mountin' Debt. 

Several years ago we sat on the back patio with a cold one and faced the truth.  We had spent all of our money, and a lot of other peoples' as well (namely people whose last name was Card... Visa, Master, Discover, etc...)  But, luckily we came to our damn senses before we had to say things like, "Hm.  Guess the house payment will have to wait."

And for the first time in a long time, we can see the greener pastures...

nick

I'm not $171 good...

Just as I was publishing last night’s post I saw an advertisement for turning your blog into a book, and it said – prices starting at $14.95.  Apparently they can print your blog in a nice book, complete with an index in the front, and even customizable front and back cover.  For the awesomely low price of starting at $14.95. 

Now, I can read my own blog for free, obviously, but admit it… it’s a pain in the ass to go back and read through the archives.  I’d happily drop a starting at $14.95 for my blog in book form.  Although I guess I’d have to come up with a clever way of tying everything up.  Because you don’t want a book to end with the last page being nothing more than bitching and moaning about how much the book cost to produce.  Not very satisfying.

So, starting at $14.95, I clicked the link with eager anticipation (see, this is why my blog would make a great book, c’mon, that’s just genius writing).  I entered my information and off the online publisher went to evaluate my blog and come up with the price it would take to print.  Starting at $14.95.  My.  Ass.  Unless of course you started your blog last Tuesday, and don’t participate in NaBloPoMo.

Guess how much my blog would cost to print into a nice book.  Just guess… I’ll wait while you form an educated guess.  And remember that, although these last few years have seen scant-a-post, I’ve been blogging since about September of 2004…

Yeah, $171 and some odd change.

Now.  I write some pretty good stuff.  Maybe not now, but I used to.  Once in a while.  But you can some pretty damn good books for $171.  Or, if you’d prefer, you can buy ANY book for $171.  I can almost guarantee that if you go down to the local book store, there isn’t a book there that cost $171.  And if there is, it best be one of those get rich quick books, that works, fast.  If you are buying books that cost $171, you are going to need to get rich quick.

Even if I posted every day for the past 5 and some years, which I obviously have not, that would be like $0.10 a post.  Not even I, who happens to love my writing, would pay that to read this.  I mean, I’m good.  But I’m not $171 good.

nick

I could be watching football...

but instead, I have a kid, and I get to hear random thoughts like "I'm not a boy-fart-knocker, I just a boy!"

Where would I even be without a kid?

nick

NaBloPoMo Fail

So I was talking with a friend that I haven't talked to in years and we were catching up a little and sharing blog addresses.  At that time I noticed she posts like... every. day.  Good lord where do you find the strength?  And then she told me.  NaBloPoMo.  In other words, blogging on speed.  Every.  Day.  Yeah, you post every day.  That's it.  It's impossible, and I know that because I've tried.  But I will try to uphold the spirit of the law and see what happens.  I can already tell you Fridays are going to be rough because I don't have blog access except for very early in the morning or very late at night.  I might have to pre-post.  Or post-post.

Another reason I was contacting this friend was that hot wife and I have been talking about getting another dog.  And not one of those nott-weilers again, an actual Rottweiler.  Only, I haven't talked to anyone who actually has Rottweilers in many years so it will take some time to find those contacts again.

After Cleo and Natron, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be back in the Rottweiler world ever again.  I miss it now though, and I miss having a big Rottie to hang with.

And now kids, off to Chuck E Cheese!  WHOOOOOO!!!!

nick

Boo!

The other night we watched Paranormal Activity, which is like the highest grossing film ever.  Cheap to make doesn’t always mean horrible because it’s hard for me to imagine anyone not getting freaked out watching this movie.  Even though I don’t really believe in ghosts or spirits or demons it just has a way of making you question all those loud noises you’ve heard in your house over the years…   In a weird way, it kind of made me want to be a day trader as well.

I think the movie was good because for the most part it was believable.  It wasn’t like Freddy coming out of your dream and sucking you into your bed.

We tried to follow up the horror and creepiness of Paranormal Activity by renting A Haunting in Connecticut or some crap like that.  I don’t know if we got the crappy documentary version or what, but it was terrible.  Movies, especially horror movies, shouldn’t have narrators and this one did.  It was obnoxious and we had to turn it off after about 10 minutes.  The only thing worse would have been subtitles.

I always wonder in horror films why people don’t get the hell out of the house they’re in.  I can handle a door swaying a little bit, but once I’m convinced someone, or something, is trying to kill me, I’m in my car and I’m driving until it runs out of gas.  And then I’m going to get out and run until I pass out… probably another 10 or 15 feet.  At least.  But don’t stay in the damn house, and definitely don’t go back to bed!  Being still when you’re in a horror film is a bad idea.  Being still in the dark (otherwise commonly known as sleeping) in a horror film is just stupid.

In other non-horror news, yesterday hot wife and I celebrated 13 years together.  It’s weird to still celebrate something like that, but it was an excuse to drink other than “hey, I feel like drinking”.  It’s important to have one of those every once in a while.

Drink up.

Nick

Is it 2010 yet?

Heh. Did you know I've only posted here, like, some 50 times since the end of 2007? Well that ain't right, and it's my New Years resolution to revive this here website. It's time to put Facebook down, and the life of one sentence whitty-ness, and expound upon actual ideas. That sounded weird.

We've missed too much since I've been gone.  Like, we turned 30.  Damn, I even had to update my profile to say such which was not cool.  But we did have a bad ass '20s style party...

I still have a kid...

And a hot wife... who likes mooses...

We fostered a non-Rottweiler

And even had time for long walks on the... uh... lakefront...

 

 

2010 is going to be a great year!

nick

Beer, Minnesota and religion...

All things I love...



Nick