I'm too fat for Valentines Day

One year for Valentines Day, I did this for the hot wife...




You want to know what I did last year?

...........

Or this year?

...........

Nothing. I got nothing.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that we've lost the romance, or we don't do anything for each other anymore. We just don't do it on Valentines Day. We did on our "going out" anniversary, which was in January (9 years...). I had the whole house lit up in candles when she came home from work, and there were flowers, and presents, and I wrote her a poem...

Did I ever tell you guys that the hot wife and I never actually went out? I never asked her out. But, before you all think I'm really an asshole, I never asked the hot wife out, so she could never break up with me.

Now that is romance... you know you are all weak in the knees...

It's ok, brace yourself, catch your breath. We'll wait...

You ok? Good.

Anyways, I really don't care for Valentines Day. Mainly for the usual reasons that most people don't like Valentines Day, but really because I haven't been able to come up with anything as creative as the candy heart heart.

What the hell tops a candy heart heart? Seriously, I'm asking you guys. Hook a brother up with some good ideas...

Ah well. We got a steak dinner, and some wine for tonight. And then there is always a whole bunch of sex, so it should be a pretty romantic evening despite my lack of Valentines Day originality...

By the way... if you steal my idea, don't leave the candy heart heart laying around the house for an extended period of time. It will attract bugs.

Happy Valentines Day!

peace nick