What the band says, goes...

Let's suppose you're in a band. It's a punk band, because the only cool bands are punk bands. Anyways, so you've been in this band forever, like 10 years. You love the band. You'd give your right fucking nut for the band. You and the band are like best friends, you do almost everything together. You live together. You eat together. Hell, sometimes you get really drunk and take showers together. Hey, I didn't say the band was all the same sex... don't put words in my mouth.

And while you still do things without the band, like jam with other friends on the acoustics and shit, you are pretty much devoted to the band. The band man, the fucking band.

One day you're thinking about the band, and how much you love the band, and you think... man, wouldn't it be fucking great to do some live shit? You know, get the band's music out there so everyone can enjoy it. So you go to the band and you pitch your idea. And they love it! And you start planning your live career. We're gonna play this show, and do this on stage and yadda yadda yadda. Man, this is gonna rock!

You start doing some live shows. You still rock out together, and you still kind of do your own thing too. It's all good. The live shows are just making it better. It's like a whole new life for the band. It's fun! And of course, you just want to rock out with your band all the fucking time. Your band, not anyone else's band.

And then the band starts to get a little busy with other shit. Which is fine, it happens, it's happened before. So you think, hey, I'll just go out and promote the band and maybe do some solo shit while the band is busy, and we'll rock out whenever we have time. So you do that for a while, and it's not the same as before, but it's still all good. When you rock with the band, you really rock. The live shows rock. And you got fans all over the fucking place, coming out of the woodwork and shit. You and the band are the envy of more bands than you even know about.

Until one day, you come back to the garage from being out and promoting the band... and the band's pissed off.

Hey, what's wrong, totally awesome, rad fucking band?
Nothing, we're fine.

Dude. We've been a band forever, I can tell when something's up.
Well, we're not exactly happy that you've been spending so much time out there by yourself promoting the band.

Ok...
Yeah, and we're not exactly thrilled that you've been talking to other bands, and checking out other bands.

Uh...
And then, while we're busy and you're off promoting the band, the garage is a fucking mess.

You swallow hard, and wonder... Have you been promoting the band too much? Did you say something inappropriate to another band that maybe your band thought was inappropriate? You don't think you did. And sure, you've seen other bands, and told them they're pretty good and all, but it's not like you want to be with those other bands. You see bands with your band all the time, it's the same thing, and it doesn't seem to be a problem then. You're completely happy with your band, and you thought they were completely happy with you.

And besides, you clean the fucking garage all the damn time! Fuck!

But you don't want a big fight with the band, so you just go to bed and try to sleep it off. And while the band apologizes the next day, you still think that a lot of what was said was probably really how the band feels, but maybe they just don't want to fight either. Maybe the band isn't as happy as you thought it was and maybe all the live shit and promoting the band isn't such a good idea any more.

And then, to top it all off, you realize the fucking band dog, who has been with the band since it was practically formed, has arthritis so bad it can barely walk anymore. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!

I guess, when it comes down to it, you really have to do all you can to keep the band happy and sacrifice the other shit. It's not as important. It doesn't make much sense to do live shows and promote the band, if there is no band to play live with and promote, right? You love the band, and you would do anything for the band, and when the band ain't happy, you ain't happy.

My advice for you, and your band, is to always make sure you are on the same page with shit. Even though you talk about stuff, and the band seems cool with all your new ideas and whatever, keep them involved and keep things out in the open. Or one day you'll walk in to the garage and the band is going to all pissed off at you. And it ain't no fun.

That's today's lesson kiddies. And for the love of the band, clean the fucking garage once in a while!