The two-fold theory
It's kind of weird sometimes how male conversations take on a life of their own. I have a theory that I've developed which I just shared with the hot wife with the other day. I call it the, uh... two-fold theory. I didn't really have a name for it before, so I just came up with that off the top of my head. I reserve the right to change it in the future.
Basically the two-fold theory states that, in a conversation between a group of just men, you can take what anyone says and essentially divide it in half to arrive at the real truth.
To take a simple example, if a group of guys is talking, and one says "yeah dude, I got so drunk last night and took these three chicks back to my place..." yadda yadda yadda... He really only took one chick back. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that anytime a story involves alcohol, it must be divided by a factor of three, not two.
Another example would be, if a guy says a certain someone was hot, she was alright. If she was smokin' hot, she was just hot. If he punched some dude, he got knocked the f&%$ out. If he kicked the crap out of them, it was probably an even fight.
I think the reason for this phenomenon is that guys don't want to hear a boring story. Women like the boring stories. They like hearing about the quiet night you spent with your guy watching The Notebook, and you cried and then he held you until you both drifted off to sleep.... BORING. If you open your mouth in front of a group of guys to tell a story or describe a night, dammit it better have some substance. We don't want to hear the truth, that you sulked at the end of the bar all night while your ex was out on the dance floor humping everything with two legs and a drink in their hand.
Men need sex (preferably with multiple women), violence, mass chaos and looting, or at the very least, serious vandalism. But, we know that can't happen every weekend, so there is a need to beef a story up a little bit. We don't care if you're embellishing a little bit, or two-fold, or three-fold, just make sure the story kicks ass.
Oh yeah, and there should be no questioning another's story, unless it involves a direct cut on you or sex with a member of your immediate family. If you know someone is just flat out lying thru their teeth, don't be an ass about it, just use it as an opportunity to embellish your own story accordingly.
peace nick
Basically the two-fold theory states that, in a conversation between a group of just men, you can take what anyone says and essentially divide it in half to arrive at the real truth.
To take a simple example, if a group of guys is talking, and one says "yeah dude, I got so drunk last night and took these three chicks back to my place..." yadda yadda yadda... He really only took one chick back. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that anytime a story involves alcohol, it must be divided by a factor of three, not two.
Another example would be, if a guy says a certain someone was hot, she was alright. If she was smokin' hot, she was just hot. If he punched some dude, he got knocked the f&%$ out. If he kicked the crap out of them, it was probably an even fight.
I think the reason for this phenomenon is that guys don't want to hear a boring story. Women like the boring stories. They like hearing about the quiet night you spent with your guy watching The Notebook, and you cried and then he held you until you both drifted off to sleep.... BORING. If you open your mouth in front of a group of guys to tell a story or describe a night, dammit it better have some substance. We don't want to hear the truth, that you sulked at the end of the bar all night while your ex was out on the dance floor humping everything with two legs and a drink in their hand.
Men need sex (preferably with multiple women), violence, mass chaos and looting, or at the very least, serious vandalism. But, we know that can't happen every weekend, so there is a need to beef a story up a little bit. We don't care if you're embellishing a little bit, or two-fold, or three-fold, just make sure the story kicks ass.
Oh yeah, and there should be no questioning another's story, unless it involves a direct cut on you or sex with a member of your immediate family. If you know someone is just flat out lying thru their teeth, don't be an ass about it, just use it as an opportunity to embellish your own story accordingly.
peace nick
posted by Nick at
12:28 PM
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