Uh, thanks for the Christmas ca... HOLY CRAP!
I'm weird about Christmas cards. I don't like them. Not because I don't think they are a nice gesture, but because some people go all out and get everyone they've ever even run into a card.
"Hey Janice, remember me? You know, I'm the guy that you bumped into that one night at the bar when I was walking by with four beers in my hand. Yeah, that was me. Yup, the loud obnoxious table... Uh, yeah, I actually do still hang out with those guys... Well, anyways, here's your Christmas card."
Every year I end up with about 15 Christmas cards from people I would have never expected to get one from. You end up feeling like a cheap ass, because you reserve your Christmas wishes for those people that you actually care about.
Now I'm even more distressed because people have actually taken it a step further, and people I hardly know are buying me presents to go along with the Christmas cards... that I never expected. Not only just presents though. The worse presents of them all... scratch off lottery tickets.
Scratch off lottery tickets do not make good presents. Either the person wins jack shit, and their "present" is now just a worthless piece of paper. "Wow, thanks, now I feel like an even bigger loser than before. Not only did I not buy you a card OR present, but the present you bought me, is, uh, worthless..."
Or they win. And then there are weird feelings. Do you share the money you just won from their present? Do you not? How much do you share? Is it based on some calculation, like, winnings divided by years known, multiplied by a safety factor of 1.2?
Today I got a Christmas card. From someone I barely know. With a scratch off lottery ticket in it.
I won.
$100.
I honestly didn't want it. I tried to give it back. Of course, they wouldn't be able to take it back, that would be weird... but I had to at least try. I didn't deserve a $100 present from this person. I barely know them, and... I didn't get them anything. No card. No present. I probably wouldn't have even wished them a Happy Holidays, or whatever the stupid politically correct saying is this year...
I didn't want the money. I couldn't give it back. So I did the next best thing... I took everyone out to Chinese buffet. It's really a gift that keeps giving... I ended up with $60 left over... and I don't look like a cheap ass.
I'm brilliant, I know... But my motto is, when life hands you a lemon, sell it and go get some Chinese...
peace nick
"Hey Janice, remember me? You know, I'm the guy that you bumped into that one night at the bar when I was walking by with four beers in my hand. Yeah, that was me. Yup, the loud obnoxious table... Uh, yeah, I actually do still hang out with those guys... Well, anyways, here's your Christmas card."
Every year I end up with about 15 Christmas cards from people I would have never expected to get one from. You end up feeling like a cheap ass, because you reserve your Christmas wishes for those people that you actually care about.
Now I'm even more distressed because people have actually taken it a step further, and people I hardly know are buying me presents to go along with the Christmas cards... that I never expected. Not only just presents though. The worse presents of them all... scratch off lottery tickets.
Scratch off lottery tickets do not make good presents. Either the person wins jack shit, and their "present" is now just a worthless piece of paper. "Wow, thanks, now I feel like an even bigger loser than before. Not only did I not buy you a card OR present, but the present you bought me, is, uh, worthless..."
Or they win. And then there are weird feelings. Do you share the money you just won from their present? Do you not? How much do you share? Is it based on some calculation, like, winnings divided by years known, multiplied by a safety factor of 1.2?
Today I got a Christmas card. From someone I barely know. With a scratch off lottery ticket in it.
I won.
$100.
I honestly didn't want it. I tried to give it back. Of course, they wouldn't be able to take it back, that would be weird... but I had to at least try. I didn't deserve a $100 present from this person. I barely know them, and... I didn't get them anything. No card. No present. I probably wouldn't have even wished them a Happy Holidays, or whatever the stupid politically correct saying is this year...
I didn't want the money. I couldn't give it back. So I did the next best thing... I took everyone out to Chinese buffet. It's really a gift that keeps giving... I ended up with $60 left over... and I don't look like a cheap ass.
I'm brilliant, I know... But my motto is, when life hands you a lemon, sell it and go get some Chinese...
peace nick
posted by Nick at
5:06 PM
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