I'm rich bitch!

While we live in a small little town in Central Wisconsin, in the last few years we have gotten some pretty significant exposure for a little strip of land called the Miracle Mile.

It's where dreams come true and people strike gold playing the lottery. Everyone who is anyone knows someone who has won a little bit of cash there. My brother-in-law won thirty some thousand. Two people won jackpots of $19.6 million and $21 million in '90. A junior high school teacher won $111 million in '93. Someone won $6.5 million in '94.

And this past weekend 100 people at a cheese factory pitched in a dollar each and won a jackpot of $209 million. And while each one only gets a mere $650,000, not really enough to retire fat and happy on, I don't think anyone is complaining.

We've always lived with the big lottery in town. We've seen the riches scored, the lives changed, the money flow. And when the jackpots creep up there, we buy, and hope, and dream. And someone always asks, "What would you do if you won?" So... for the next time someone asks... the top 10 things I would do if I won the lottery.

10. Lifetime supply of Jager Bombs
9. Stripper poles in the bedroom... and the kitchen... and garage.
8. Hire a full time cook who specializes in making Taco Bell type healthy food
7. Enter World Series of Poker, go all in every hand, punch Daniel Negreanu in the face
6. Buy out Blogger, disable comments... bwahahaha
5. Start a porn studio
4. Hire hitman to kill Hillary Clinton, pay off cops, jury, judge
3. Move next to Britney and K-Fed, get on K-Fed's next album
2. Buy all the gas I can and dump it in the street. Laugh hysterically.

And the number one thing I would do if I won the lottery:

Develop beer that doesn't make you fat. And then get drunk.

Nick