How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Yesterday as the hot wife and I sat in the Dairy Queen drive-thru waiting for heavenly bliss, also known as a snicker's blizzard, she turned to me and asked me if I was ready for my new name to be Daddy. I don't know, women are weird like that. They just ask you the weirdest questions, and they come out of nowhere. We weren't talking about the kid, or being parents. Just sitting there, waiting.

I don't expect being called Daddy will be all that strange. I didn't give it much thought really, but no, I don't think it will be all that different. It wasn't that different when I went from boyfriend to fiance to husband. By the way, doesn't being called fiance make you feel all yuppyish? I never really got used to it.

Anyways, I didn't really think about the Daddy discussion much until we had the hot wife's sister and her three boys over later that day. The two older boys were watching a movie and I was playing some online poker on the laptop on the couch. The older boys pretty much stay to themselves, but the youngest is at the age where he clings to you and wants to be a part of everything you do. Which is a new thing for me. I will get over being called Daddy in about three seconds, but a clingy little boy I may never get used to. And the questions... and the questions... and the questions...

"Uncle Nick, are those wolves?" (in the movie)
"No, they're Siberian Huskies."

"Why are they white?"
"Probably so they blend in with the snow."

"Are Cleo and Natron Huskies?"
"No, they're Rottweilers."

"What if they were Huskies and Rottweilers?"
"Then......... they would be Huskweilers."

"Can you break the tv with your foot?"
"Sure."

"Can you break the Nintendo with your foot?"
"Sure."

"Can you break the tv with your ear?"
"..... probably."

"You cannot, that's impossible."
"No, it's not, I do it all the time."

"Can you swim in a lake?"
"Sure."

"What if the lake was 100 feet in the air?"
"What? How is a lake 100 feet in the air?"

".... can you break this table with your ear?"
"No, my Dad made that table."

"What are those?"
"Those are poker chips. Don't touch the computer screen."

"What will happen?"
"Don't touch. You will break it."

"What color will it turn?"
"Don't touch. It won't turn any color, it will be broke."

"Will it turn black?"
"Yes."

".... can you break the computer with your foot?"
"Why don't you go ask Aunt Amy to grab Uncle Nick the fullest bottle of liquor we have?"

Uncle Nick