I am the love doctor, Will Smith is just an actor...
We finally got around to watching the movie Hitch last night, with Will Smith. I didn't have real high expectations, because I'm not the biggest Will Smith movie fan... but it was good. Funny at least.
Unfortunately it just confirmed about men what I have always known. You are idiots. All of you. I'm just amazed that more women are not lesbians.
But then... women are suckers, which just compounds the problem.
What a job being a love doctor would be. Although I don't have confidence that most men could get a number to save their lives... perhaps I could provide a few pointers that might make them not appear to be the big time losers they really are. And all you need is that, and most women being suckers, will at least stick around a couple of months.
Here are my tips gentlemen, since I already have a job:
1. Stare at a woman's breasts when she is NOT looking directly at you. If you're talking to her, she can tell what you are looking at... if she isn't blind.
2. Chances are your pick up line sucks. Save it. Opt for a more natural comment or look. Have a creative comment for everything. Everything. Be prepared and witty.
3. Don't be an over-bearing stalker. It's one thing to be convienently in the right place at the right time. It's another thing to be everywhere. Maintain some distance.
4. Don't show women your tattoos. It makes the rest of us who don't have any look like ninnys, and you don't want your ass kicked, do ya?
5. Put your damn collar down. You're not the Fonz, and you never will be.
So there you have it. A few minor, although important, tips on picking up women. A lot of it is just common sense really, which I realize most of you don't have... but then, that's why you read my blog.
I'm happy to help. Questions will be addressed now for a small fee.
peace nick
Unfortunately it just confirmed about men what I have always known. You are idiots. All of you. I'm just amazed that more women are not lesbians.
But then... women are suckers, which just compounds the problem.
What a job being a love doctor would be. Although I don't have confidence that most men could get a number to save their lives... perhaps I could provide a few pointers that might make them not appear to be the big time losers they really are. And all you need is that, and most women being suckers, will at least stick around a couple of months.
Here are my tips gentlemen, since I already have a job:
1. Stare at a woman's breasts when she is NOT looking directly at you. If you're talking to her, she can tell what you are looking at... if she isn't blind.
2. Chances are your pick up line sucks. Save it. Opt for a more natural comment or look. Have a creative comment for everything. Everything. Be prepared and witty.
3. Don't be an over-bearing stalker. It's one thing to be convienently in the right place at the right time. It's another thing to be everywhere. Maintain some distance.
4. Don't show women your tattoos. It makes the rest of us who don't have any look like ninnys, and you don't want your ass kicked, do ya?
5. Put your damn collar down. You're not the Fonz, and you never will be.
So there you have it. A few minor, although important, tips on picking up women. A lot of it is just common sense really, which I realize most of you don't have... but then, that's why you read my blog.
I'm happy to help. Questions will be addressed now for a small fee.
peace nick
posted by Nick at
12:15 PM
4 Comments:
Yes I am constantly amazed at the ability of most women to put up with men. Sorry, Nick, but I have to vote for more lesbians. :)
I've always supported same sex marriages if both chicks are hot.
Yeah, but that's a big IF. Both chicks should be hot.
But it amazes me how some of the hot chicks I know can put up with the sheet they've chosen as a boyfriend. No car, no job, acting "fly" or whatever, being on probabtion seems to be the answer to winning the heart of girls now adays.
Like I said, they are suckers. You only have to be nice for the probationary period, and you are in for a couple of months at least.
If you are creative for all the holidays, you may just end up in for life... like me.
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