I'll show you all serious...

Thanks to everyone who chimed in about the purpose and content of my... website. I haven't decided what to do yet, but will take everything said into consideration.

One of the things a few of you mentioned really made me think though. That you appreciate a blog that is varied with goofy content, informational content, and serious content. Or whatever. I've always tried to avoid serious content. Maybe not serious content, but content that can be sad or depressing. Because I always try to avoid sad or depressing things in my life. I don't know why, I just do. I'm a robot. But that made me think, not only about why I started this blog, but also about some things I have been thinking about with regards to having a kid.

I started my first blog in September of '04. In June of that year we were going thru some difficult times. I remember a Friday that June. I woke up feeling pretty good, despite the fact that we were going to put our dog to sleep that weekend. As selfish as it is, I felt like a huge weight was being lifted off our shoulders... it's a whole 'nother story really. But this Friday was not going to be a good one. I got a call just as I was leaving for work. My dad passed away the night before. He had a heart attack in his sleep. He just turned 55 that May.

Now, I don't tell you this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I understand that there are people far worse off than me. While I certainly miss my father, and would do anything just for one more conversation with him, it's not like I need him to survive. My physical standing in life is no worse off. But it was no doubt the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.

Lately it's made me think about my kids and my family though. Am I passing on the best genetics in the world? I just turned 27, so if I live as long as my dad, I'm half way through life. Not a pleasant thought.

Is my son going to miss out because he doesn't have a real grandfather? Sure, my mom has moved on and is getting remarried, but it's not the same. It's not the same for me, and it probably won't be the same for my son.

Let's say I don't make it past 55. How's my son going to remember me? My father was a great man, a great dad, but let's face it, he wasn't Ghandi. He worked the same job for 25 years and once, when I was five, he caught a Northern that was as big as me. He could make things out of wood that I'm quite certain will never break. The hot wife and I have been dancing on the table he made when I was a kid for almost 10 years. Not a single scratch in it. He made our bed... what more do you need? But when I die, I want my son to hear great stories about me. "One time your father saved a village of women and children from a pack of wild Ligers with only his bare hands."

Everything is a lot more simplistic with your parents there for you. I wouldn't be thinking about this shit if my dad were still alive. And I probably wouldn't be blogging. I can't blog to let these types of things out, I can only blog to suppress them and forget about them. Not only can I not go through writing this stuff, I have no desire to subject my readers to it. It's there. But I hope if maybe I can spend my time trying to be a wise ass, I won't have to think about it.

Probably one of these days I'll snap and shoot all my co-workers, but until then, we can laugh a little. Anywho, that's a long winded explanation of why I don't write about serious stuff on my blog. I'm sure you're all like... what the...???

Good.

Nick