The DILF conjecture

I was reading this story today about some douche bag mathematician guy named Grigori Perelman. Perelman was due a prize of one million smackers for proving a conjecture called the Poincaré conjecture. What the Poincaré conjecture states is that if all loops of an enclosed three dimensional space can be reduced to a single point, the three dimensional space is a three dimensional sphere. Or, whatever.

Like who couldn't prove that?

He didn't show up to receive the prize, claiming the the prize was the solution to the problem itself. Or something stupid that only some crazy mathematician nutcase would say. Really what he is saying is that he is above all that material shit like money, and probably food... and sleep, and stuff like that.

People who claim to be above all material things are obnoxious beyond belief. Fine, if you don't want the money, take it and give it to someone needy who isn't a pompous ass monkey. Don't refuse it and leave it to some obviously bloated organization who is willing to shell out a million bucks to someone who can even think of shit like this without getting a headache.

Eh, who cares. You know what I do care about though? Having my very own conjecture. The DILF conjecture. How cool would that be?

Ok, here goes:

The DILF conjecture states that after drinking from 11am one day to 3am the very next day at a bachelor party (this past weekend), simply imagining more drinking will induce vomitting.

Oh wait, I already proved that. Huh... Damn I'm one smart cat.

Nick