Wait. What happened on Saturday?
Saturday night I was so kind as to drag the hot wife along to a cookout/bonfire/drunk fest. It really started from a miscommunication. I thought she said she wanted to do something, so I made plans. I don't know if she was trying to find me something to do, get me out of the house or what, but she was a good sport and came along anyways.
The reason I wanted to go to this little event was because we'd heard thru the grapevine that this particular host couple was having some issues and possibly even considering divorce. Apparently when they get drunk, things go downhill. That's funny, I've never heard of that being an issue before...
Well, we've hung out with these drunks, er... friends, a few times, but we always leave before the fireworks go off I guess. This night I wanted to hang around, observe the situation, and then work my magic and fix everything. I'm good with this kind of stuff, you know, I'm smart. Not because I want them to stay together. I don't. She's a bitch. And I think she might be a lesbian. Not that I have anything against lesbians. Except when they're ugly and want to play naked twister with my wife...
If you just threw up in your mouth baby, I'm sorry. But it added the necessary flair to my story here.
So anyways, I load up the cooler for a night of good times, and the hot wife and I head over to this natural disaster in the making. Of course, we are the first ones, so the hot wife is stuck talking to the rabid beast, while I check out the massive garden with the host.
And then I got drunk. Reeeeeaaaaalllly drunk.
Oh, and I tried to hit someone with an axe apparently. Jokingly. As if that's possible.
Oh oh, and then they ended up getting in this huge fight and I F'ING MISSED IT, and now they're going to get divorced, and it will be all my fault, because I wasn't there to help them thru this difficult time.
I'm going to be a father in 5 months, and this is how I accept responsibility. This is how I help my friends when they need me. My kid's going to need my help some day and I'm going to whack the poor schmuck with an axe because I'm drunk.
I'm sorry Braeden. In advance.
Nick
The reason I wanted to go to this little event was because we'd heard thru the grapevine that this particular host couple was having some issues and possibly even considering divorce. Apparently when they get drunk, things go downhill. That's funny, I've never heard of that being an issue before...
Well, we've hung out with these drunks, er... friends, a few times, but we always leave before the fireworks go off I guess. This night I wanted to hang around, observe the situation, and then work my magic and fix everything. I'm good with this kind of stuff, you know, I'm smart. Not because I want them to stay together. I don't. She's a bitch. And I think she might be a lesbian. Not that I have anything against lesbians. Except when they're ugly and want to play naked twister with my wife...
If you just threw up in your mouth baby, I'm sorry. But it added the necessary flair to my story here.
So anyways, I load up the cooler for a night of good times, and the hot wife and I head over to this natural disaster in the making. Of course, we are the first ones, so the hot wife is stuck talking to the rabid beast, while I check out the massive garden with the host.
And then I got drunk. Reeeeeaaaaalllly drunk.
Oh, and I tried to hit someone with an axe apparently. Jokingly. As if that's possible.
Oh oh, and then they ended up getting in this huge fight and I F'ING MISSED IT, and now they're going to get divorced, and it will be all my fault, because I wasn't there to help them thru this difficult time.
I'm going to be a father in 5 months, and this is how I accept responsibility. This is how I help my friends when they need me. My kid's going to need my help some day and I'm going to whack the poor schmuck with an axe because I'm drunk.
I'm sorry Braeden. In advance.
Nick
posted by Nick at
12:59 PM
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