This is a joke...

for B.

Ok. There was this sailor. A real big, tough sailor. And he's in from port, so he wants to go out and get a real tough woman. A real rough and tough nasty bitch. So, ya know, where else do you do this but the brothel right?

Can I say brothel?

Ok. So he goes to the brothel. And he tells the lady, "I'm looking for real rough and tough bitch."

So she says, "well, we'll bring out Candy." So she brings out Candy, and the sailor looks at her. He spits her in the face, and punches her in the head, and she falls down and whimpers...

Ok, so he goes to another brothel, and I'm gonna skip this part because the same thing happens. It's one of those jokes. It's long.

Ok. So he goes to the next brothel, and he tells the lady, "I want a real rough and tough bitch."

So the lady says, "we'll bring out Judy." So they bring out Judy, and the sailor looks at her. He spits in her face and punches her and knocks her to the ground with flying hammer lock. She gets up, spits him back and knocks him to the ground with a round house kick to the teeth.

Well the sailor gets up and he's all excited. He's finally found this rough and tough bitch. So they go up to the room and they start getting into it, and he's like, "Wait a second. I'm gonna run down and get a six pack." You know, he wants to celebrate finding this rough and tough bitch.

So he runs down to get his six pack, and when he comes back in the room, the chick is sitting on the bed, like this...

(doggy style.... you have to see it to believe it)

And the sailor's like, "Whoa, lady, aren't we.. taking this a bit fast? We just met."

And the chick asks, "Don't... you want to be able to open them?"

Nick