I wanna be like K-Fed

I wish people would spare me the "oh, you look like this person" or "oh, you look like that person". Kiss my ass. Because, ya know... it's never anyone good that you look like.

No, it's not like I'm hot like Adam Sandler...

Or cool like K-Fed...



Or sophisticated like George Clooney...



No. Instead, now people are telling me I look like this douche bag from American Idol...



How am I supposed to be a real DILF and pick up chicks if I look like this f-ing dork? I don't care if he can dance and sing and all that shit. Look at him.

LOOK AT HIM!

He's ugly! And I would never let my hair get that gray before 40. Which reminds me, I have to dye mine before my haircut tomorrow... I hate looking down at that black robe thing they make you wear and seeing all that damn gray hair.

Damn genetics...

Nick