Hi, I'm Governor Spitzer. Got hooker?

I've tried to think of what I would say were I in this douche bag's shoes. And then I really tried.

I got nothing.

Forget for a second that prostitution is wrong and all that. Let's look at the facts.

For one, it's not like your wife is ugly. She's no $1,000/hour hooker, but c'mon.*

Then of course, you have a family. "Hi, we're your three daughters. Have we met?"

And, the state that elected you Governor, and you know, gave you a bunch of money. "Hi, we're the State of New York. 'member us?"

No... let's make matters worse and be a jackass. Who runs around cracking the whip on everyone else's ass. "Hi pot, I'm kettle."

It's one thing to cheat, have an affair, get knob jobs from some intern, etc. But a $1,000/hour prostitute? You have to pay someone to cheat on your wife with?

You're the Governor! Of New York!

I'm pretty sure that, a) women will sleep with you just because your Governor of New York, b) I've never been to New York, but I'm pretty damn sure they have cheaper prostitutes.

$1,000/hour?

Eddie Murphy didn't pay no $1,000/hour in Coming to America, and that boy was po', and shoppin' in Queens.

*What the hell does a $1,000/hour look like?

Nick