Thursday, April 28, 2005

I'm going to forget all of you when I'm rich...

Know what job I really, really want? Consultant. What the F$*& kind of job is "Consultant"?

Look into any political campaign, and they are loaded with consultants. What the hell do they do? Does the person running for office just look to you for advice?

"Hey Nick, as my consultant... do you think I should have an affair with one of my interns?"

"Uh, no Bob, you probably don't want to go there..."

"Yeah... you're right. What would I do without you?"

You'd probably save a lot of friggen money...

Governments and non-profits are big on consultants too. Because in general, those who work in those fields don't know squat about squat, so they need to pay other people to come in and enlighten them... And then these "consultants" turn around and charge outrageous "fees" because they know it's not the people writing the check who are paying for it.

That's the problem with governments and non-profits, they aren't using their own money so they have no problem pissing it away on non-value added crap. Which is what a consultant provides. Crap.

You never see private businesses using consultants for the exact reasons that governments and non-profits do use them. Private businesses are actually held accountable for the money they spend. If they want to know something, they go research it and figure it out themselves.

So I need a catchy name to compete with all these high priced consulting firms... hmmmm...

How about: Rapeyerass Consulting - "Have a stupid question? Call us, we have lots of stupid answers!"

Sweet... I'm gonna be RICH!!! Suckers!

peace nick, er, I mean...

peace Rapeyerass Consulting

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some private companies use consultants. Dumb ones. Like Initech!

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's right! I forgot all about Initech...

Good catch John!

Yeah.... I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday... yeah...

I love that movie...

1:07 PM  

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