Arguing for idiots
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life - Iris Murdoch
How true Iris... how true. Men inevitably piss women off... it's in our genetic code. Everything from our desire to watch sports, drive fast and play golf... oh, and something about looking at other women...
You've no doubt seen the commercials where a pretty girl walks by a guy with his wife or girlfriend, he checks her out, and the wife/gf smacks him upside the head. This has to be the topic of 95% of male/female arguements. Since we all know its going to happen sooner or later, it's up to guys to be prepared for it and have a fight plan...
Remember that the goal of an arguement, much like that of a retreating army, is to get out as unscathed as possible. Certainly a scorched earth policy is the most effective, but it doesn't win the hearts of the people. If you're looking for an immediate break-up, by all means, burn the bridges... But if you are trying to save yourself, you better put forth some effort.
The 5th Amendment of the Constituition basically says you have the right to keep your mouth shut and not make things worse for yourself. It's not just for testifying in front of Congress either... Most of the time life is better when you just keep your mouth shut. It takes some practice, but it's very effective. Women always want to know how men are feeling, what they're thinking, blah blah blah... Since what you're thinking and feeling is probably offensive to them, it's usually best to just shut up. Trust me on this one.
If you must talk, keep in mind certain things...
Nothing is bettered (you like that word?) by turning an arguement back onto the woman. Avoid saying things like, "Well, you did such and such too..." or "How come you get to..."
Always be vague. Never deny or fess up to specific events. Use defenses like, "I didn't do that" or "Nuh uh".
Never mention other people. This will always come off as a comparison, and we all know women are competitive enough the way it is. Don't dump gas on the fire.
Do you see a common theme here? If you don't have to, don't talk. If you have to, only say what you must and never be specific. See, unlike the female brain, the male brain is not built for arguing. Over the centuries man has settled things by killing people and conquering. We don't have the skills to handle women in this capacity... so don't pretend you do.
Let's review. Remember, the goal is to end the arguement, and not to dig yourself any more holes. So keep your mouth shut as much as possible. Never be specific. Never try to turn the arguement on the person who are arguing against. Never try to blame, defend or use anyone else in an arguement.
And for heaven's sake... you don't have control over what your genetic code forces you to do... so don't admit you were wrong. You will be undoing centuries and centuries of denial and ass kissing, and we don't want to awaken those spirits...
Good luck fellas... good luck...
peace nick
How true Iris... how true. Men inevitably piss women off... it's in our genetic code. Everything from our desire to watch sports, drive fast and play golf... oh, and something about looking at other women...
You've no doubt seen the commercials where a pretty girl walks by a guy with his wife or girlfriend, he checks her out, and the wife/gf smacks him upside the head. This has to be the topic of 95% of male/female arguements. Since we all know its going to happen sooner or later, it's up to guys to be prepared for it and have a fight plan...
Remember that the goal of an arguement, much like that of a retreating army, is to get out as unscathed as possible. Certainly a scorched earth policy is the most effective, but it doesn't win the hearts of the people. If you're looking for an immediate break-up, by all means, burn the bridges... But if you are trying to save yourself, you better put forth some effort.
The 5th Amendment of the Constituition basically says you have the right to keep your mouth shut and not make things worse for yourself. It's not just for testifying in front of Congress either... Most of the time life is better when you just keep your mouth shut. It takes some practice, but it's very effective. Women always want to know how men are feeling, what they're thinking, blah blah blah... Since what you're thinking and feeling is probably offensive to them, it's usually best to just shut up. Trust me on this one.
If you must talk, keep in mind certain things...
Nothing is bettered (you like that word?) by turning an arguement back onto the woman. Avoid saying things like, "Well, you did such and such too..." or "How come you get to..."
Always be vague. Never deny or fess up to specific events. Use defenses like, "I didn't do that" or "Nuh uh".
Never mention other people. This will always come off as a comparison, and we all know women are competitive enough the way it is. Don't dump gas on the fire.
Do you see a common theme here? If you don't have to, don't talk. If you have to, only say what you must and never be specific. See, unlike the female brain, the male brain is not built for arguing. Over the centuries man has settled things by killing people and conquering. We don't have the skills to handle women in this capacity... so don't pretend you do.
Let's review. Remember, the goal is to end the arguement, and not to dig yourself any more holes. So keep your mouth shut as much as possible. Never be specific. Never try to turn the arguement on the person who are arguing against. Never try to blame, defend or use anyone else in an arguement.
And for heaven's sake... you don't have control over what your genetic code forces you to do... so don't admit you were wrong. You will be undoing centuries and centuries of denial and ass kissing, and we don't want to awaken those spirits...
Good luck fellas... good luck...
peace nick
posted by Nick at
12:34 PM
5 Comments:
An ex brother in law of mine used to say when looking at a pretty gal "Even when you're on a diet,you can still look at the menu"
No wonder my sister divorced him LOL
Diets suck.
I must be the exception to the rule because I point out pretty women to my husband all the time. Why not? It gives him a kick. I think it should work both ways but my man never points out hotties to me.
I don't understand why women get so mad when their man looks at other women. He is looking not touching. Are women that insecure?
People from New Orleans are anything but normal...
Bwaah! You got me on that one.
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